5. Ask what solution the person might suggest for the adultery.
6. Make a transition to Scripture. Point out that God not only demands that we confess adultery as sin, but that we put it out of our lives. "He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy" (Proverbs 28:13).
7. Suggest that the inquirer think about possible reasons for the infidelity and share those reasons with you. You might mention some of the reasons for adultery from the "Background" to stimulate thinking.
8. Recommend that he or she confess the adultery to his or her spouse, demonstrating true remorse and asking forgiveness. Suggest that he or she try to discuss the reasons for the adultery. An honest effort to communicate is the only way that things can be brought to light and the climate provided which will lead to solutions.
9. Suggest initiating regular reading and study of God's Word with the spouse. This will illuminate them both as to their responsibilities, and fortify them against temptation and sin. Also, encourage them to pray together.
10. Encourage them to seek out and identify with a Bible-teaching church. This will provide strength as they fellowship, worship, and study the Bible. Becoming committed Christians should be their goal. The absence of a vital relationship with Christ is the chief factor in this problem.
10. Encourage them to seek out and identify with a Bible-teaching church. This will provide strength as they fellowship, worship, and study the Bible. Becoming committed Christians should be their goal. The absence of a vital relationship with Christ is the chief factor in this problem.
11. Advise the person guilty of adultery to seek out the pastor for encouragement and counseling. If he or she doesn't find the needed help through the pastor, such help should be sought from a Christian professional counselor or psychiatrist.
11. Advise the person guilty of adultery to seek out the pastor for encouragement and counseling. If he or she doesn't find the needed help through the pastor, such help should be sought from a Christian professional counselor or psychiatrist.
For the Partner of the Adulterer:
The adulterer's spouse often feels betrayed, rejected, and hurt. Although only one partner may be guilty of unfaithfulness, often both of them contributed to it.
1. Encourage the person to ask:
A. How may I have contributed to my mate's infidelity? Am I
supportive, or critical?
B. What circumstances in our marriage might have contributed to the
problem?
• Conflict with in-laws?
• Work schedules or absences from home?