MARRIAGE
(Pressure to Do Wrong from an Unbelieving Spouse)
Background
When a Christian is married to a nonbeliever, he or she may at times feel pressured by the mate to do things that are either clearly contrary to Scripture or that simply give the believer an uneasy conscience—perhaps something involving worldly involvements or sexual practices. This can lead to unhappiness and conflict in the marriage.
The Bible commands mutual love and respect between husband and wife (Ephesians 5:22, 28). Neither has the right to order the other to do something that is contrary to the Bible or that offends the partner's conscience. When one partner is not a believer, and therefore perhaps not willing to abide by biblical principles, special wisdom and sensitivity are needed to resolve the conflict.
Helping Strategy
1. Commend the inquirer for being sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit in his or her life, and for wanting to do right.
2. Encourage a firm stand for Christ (Romans 12:1–2).
3. Urge the individual to keep the lines of communication open with his or her mate, in order to discuss freely and fully the problems involved and the reasons why it is not possible to agree to such requests. The Christian partner should not be critical or judgmental. "We catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." If one is not careful at this point, the point of no return could quickly be reached, bringing conflict and hostility.
4. Love covers a multitude of sins. Encourage the Christian partner to love sincerely, demonstrating it through word and action. As much as possible, express appreciation, admiration, and praise for the unbelieving spouse in those areas where it is due.
5. Encourage the inquirer to pray, first for wisdom and guidance in the situation (James 1:5), then for the unbelieving partner's obedience to the Word of God and commitment to personal faith in Christ.
CAUTION: One should not be too aggressive in trying to win a husband or wife to Christ. See the chapter on "Marriage (Winning One's Mate to Christ)."