successful second marriage. Leaving the second spouse to return to the first would be wrong. Two wrongs never make a right.
Count the Cost of Divorce
• Is it displeasing to God? ( Malachi 2:15–16).
• Will it disrupt the continuity of life and adversely affect other people: children, parents, extended families?
• Will it really solve any problems, or will it rather create many new ones? Divorce is an emotionally traumatic experience.
Exhaust Every Other Option Before Considering Divorce
1. Try to work things out on a personal level, in a spirit of humility and forgiveness (Matthew 18:21–22).
2. Submit to serious counseling with a Christian marriage counselor or a qualified pastor.
3. If necessary, consider a trial separation while searching for a redemptive solution. In a case of physical or psychological abuse, homosexuality, drunkenness, drugs, etc., a separation might be advisable.
Helping Strategy
1. Demonstrate a loving, caring attitude. Reassure the inquirer by saying that you are glad to assist in his or her search for a solution. You want to be a friend and share any insights you can.
2. Listen attentively, letting the caller tell the story and ventilate feelings until you feel you have a grasp of the situation.
3. Avoid playing judge. Don't take sides. Your goal should be to present a scriptural point of view and challenge the inquirer to make the decision, knowing that he or she will have to live with it for life.
Remember the example of Jesus. He dealt gently with the woman at the well, even though He knew that she had had five husbands and was then living with a man who was not her husband. He revealed Himself as Savior, and offered her "living water" (John 4:9–42).
4. Tell the inquirer that receiving God's help means committing his or her life to Christ, whatever the cost. This commitment must be permanent, regardless of the outcome of the present dilemma. Ask if he or she has