MARRIAGE
(Winning One's Mate to Christ)
Background
On a certain occasion, Jesus startled His disciples with a paradox: "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a 'man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-inlaw—a man's enemies will be the members of his own household'" (Matthew 10:34–36, NIV). Nowhere is the cost of discipleship more evident than in a marriage where one partner is a Christian and the other is not. Life becomes complicated as interests, activities, and goals are at variance. The conversion to Christ of one's mate should receive the highest priority, but extreme caution should be exercised as to methods followed in pursuit of this goal. Many marriages end in divorce because of the insensitivity and overzealous evangelizing of the Christian partner.
Helping Strategy
1. Commend the inquirer for his or her concern in wanting to share the Gospel with the unbelieving spouse. He or she must be aware, however, of the "sword" Jesus referred to in the above quote: The Christian faith can unite people, but it can also divide them.
2. Encourage the individual not to try to "play God." He or she cannot force the mate to accept Christ. Those who try to take things into their own hands may be headed for disaster.
3. Recommend not coming on too strong but maintaining a humble attitude rather than a judgmental one. Attitude is extremely important.
4. Encourage the development of personal spiritual maturity through reading and studying God's Word and through faithfully practicing a life of prayer. Prayer is of great value. Commit the mate to the Lord and by faith claim conversion. Trust God. He has a wonderful way of working things out. (It would probably be best not to tell the unbelieving mate that he or she is the object of prayer!)
5. Example is powerful! Let the mate see Jesus in the believer's attitudes and actions. Let love overflow. True love cannot be counterfeited. Paul says: "Love is patient, love is kind. . . . Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 13:4, 8, NIV). Try to demonstrate that "the love of God has been poured out in our hearts" (Romans 5:5).