Christian bookstore to obtain an easy-to-understand translation of the Bible. Ask if we may send Living in Christ to encourage him or her in starting to study the Bible.
4. Suggest that the person seek a Bible-teaching church for fellowship, worship, and opportunities for service. If the church has a singles group, this may provide a setting where he or she can find encouragement and understanding, and build new relationships.
5. Pray for healing of emotions, peace of mind, restored confidence, strength, and spiritual understanding.
6. Suggest special counseling if he or she feels the need for it. A pastor or a Christian psychologist may be helpful.
Points to Remember as You Talk with the Divorced Person
1. What has been done is past. Start where your inquirer is now and go on from there.
2. Try to guide the conversation so that he or she won't feel it necessary to engage in any "postmortems" of the experience. Try rather to direct attention to God, who can help the divorced person reach real solutions.
3. Remain neutral. Do not assume that your inquirer is either guilty or innocent. A judgmental or "holier than thou" attitude will close doors to witnessing.
4. If your inquirer is truly a Christian, encourage him or her to:
A. Confess any bitterness, anger, or other sin and, if necessary, face
realistically any wrong attitudes that contributed to the divorce. Share "Restoration," page 17. Emphasize 1 John 1:9.
B. Develop a new interest in reading and studying the Bible and in
prayer: "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).
C. Establish or renew a relationship with a church, in spite of feelings of
guilt or fear of criticism. He or she needs the church now more than ever. Perhaps the church has a singles group which would be helpful.
D. Pray with the person for healing, peace of mind, and the ability to
make the necessary adjustments to a different lifestyle.
Scripture
Encouragement to Walk with the Lord:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5–6).
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God" (Philippians 4:6, NIV).
"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth" (2 Timothy 2:15, NIV).
"Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" (2 Peter 3:18).
Healing the Wounds:
"Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's" (Psalm 103:2–5,
NIV).
"Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise" (Jeremiah 17:14, NIV).
Other suggested Scriptures:
Psalm 23:3 2 Timothy 1:7
DIVORCE, CONTEMPLATING
Background
Divorce, the legal dissolution of marriage, is a departure from what God intended and is not endorsed by Scripture except under limited conditions. Divorce is the result of sin in the lives of one or both of the partners. More often than not, both are to blame to some degree. Pride and selfishness often contribute to the conditions that lead to divorce.
Divorce is often the product of inflexible wills: "Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning'" (Matthew 19:8, NIV). Divorce was not part of God's original design for marriage.
No manipulation of Scripture or rationalization makes divorce right. Scripture states:
"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
The apostle Paul wrote: "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. . . . And a husband must not divorce his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:10–11, NIV).
"Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. . . . So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 'I hate divorce,' says the Lord God of Israel" (Malachi 2:15–16, NIV).
Conditions Under Which Divorce May Be Permitted
• When a spouse is guilty of sexual immorality such as adultery or homosexuality and has no intention of repenting or seeking God's forgiveness, and living in faithfulness to his or her spouse (Matthew 19:9).
• When one partner deserts the other, especially when an unbelieving partner deserts a Christian spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15).
Having an unbelieving spouse is not, however, automatic grounds for divorce. To the contrary, the Christian spouse is encouraged to "live in peace" with the unbelieving partner, with the goal of winning him or her to faith in Christ (1 Corinthians 7:12–16).
If the person has divorced and remarried, he or she should try to make a