The Family Man: Luther at Home

THE FAMILY MAN:

LUTHER AT HOME

In 1525, in Wittenberg, Germany, a former monk married a former nun: Katharina von Bora (b. January 29, 1499) became the wife of Dr. Martin ¹ In some ways, this act was just as significant as Luther’s nailing his Luther.

Ninety-Five Theses to the church door. As William Lazareth writes, “Luther’s marriage remains to this day the central evangelical symbol of the Reformation’s liberation and transformation of Christian daily life.”

Luther’s writings on domestic life shook the culture of Western Christendom and led to a new view of the family that later Reformers nurtured. Martin Brecht writes, “One should not underestimate the effect of Luther’s writings on ³ In fact, scholars believe that marriage, for they initiated a change in society.”

Luther’s ethical teachings have had a greater impact on family relationships than on any other aspect of ordinary life.

Luther had inherited the medieval view of marriage as a sacrament or special means of supernatural grace dispensed by the church. This view was asserted by Pope Innocent III at the beginning of the thirteenth century and affirmed at the Council of Florence (1439). As late as 1519, Luther affirmed that marriage was a ⁵ However, in 1520, Luther published On the Babylonian Christian sacrament.

Captivity of the Church, in which he proposed that only baptism and the Lord’s Supper were divinely instituted sacraments with a promise of saving grace. Consequently, he no longer regarded marriage as a sacrament, though he did see it as a symbol of the “mystery” (sacramentum) of Christ and His church (Eph. 5:31–32).

Paradoxically, while medieval Christianity affirmed marriage as a sacrament, it generally degraded women and human sexuality. Jerome’s Adversus Jovinianum had become the “basic medieval textbook for antifeminism,” though Augustine tried to bring more balance to the subject in his ⁸ The negativity prevailed despite the fact that in practice a De Bono Conjugali. number of people recognized the essential equality of women to men as well as ⁹ Peter Lombard noted that the first woman their necessary place in daily life. was created from Adam’s side, “so that it should be shown that she was created for the partnership of love, lest, if perhaps she had been made from his head, she should be perceived as set over man in domination; or if from his feet, as if ¹⁰ However, despite moderating voices, a negative subject to him in servitude.” attitude toward women, sex, and marriage prevailed and grew into what B.J. van 11 one fed by the continuing influence of der Walt calls “a chorus of contempt,” ¹² The Reformation turned the church ancient pagan writers, among other things. back to a more Christian view that sought to honor God’s creation of woman in His image and His institution of marriage. As a result of Luther’s writing and example, Martin Brecht says, “marriage and women were valued more highly.” Luther had also been raised to believe that the holy service of God mandated celibacy. In the late middle ages, the church demanded that its priests not marry, though cases of clerical concubinage and immorality were notorious throughout ¹⁴ Luther later rejected monastic celibacy and mandatory celibacy for Europe. pastors as unbiblical but remained celibate for several years after the Reformation began. He commended celibacy to those with the “grace of ¹⁵ Though chastity,” for it is “the finest life… that one could possibly have.” encouraged to marry by friends, he had no mind to do it, “since he anticipated that he would soon have to face death” at the hands of his persecutors.

However, Luther increasingly saw that to be consistent with his own teaching of the freedom of Christians to marry, he would do well to enter into matrimony himself. In April 1525, he visited his parents, and they encouraged him to marry. When some of Luther’s friends learned about Luther’s impending marriage, they were not supportive, but Luther pushed ahead anyway. Martin Luther was wedded to Katharina von Bora on Tuesday, June 13, 1525, in the presence of five witnesses. Their wedding feast was held two weeks later so that guests could arrive from more distant places. The city gave the newlyweds twenty silver gulden and a barrel of beer.

Marriage was an adjustment for Luther, but a blessed one. In his first year of marriage, he said he had to get used to “a pair of pigtails lying beside him.” He ¹⁸ Marriage learned patience when Katie interrupted his intense theological study. was also an adjustment for Katie; she discovered that the straw in Luther’s bed had not been replaced for a year, and it was rotting in his sweat.

Even so, after six years of marriage, Luther said, “I wouldn’t give up my ²⁰ Years later, he declared, “I shall die as one who Katy for France or for Venice. loves and lauds marriage.”

Luther on Marriage and Sexuality

22 He observed, “The Luther grounded his doctrine of marriage upon Genesis 2. lawful joining of a man and a woman is a divine ordinance and institution…. Marriage is a divine kind of life because it was established by God Himself.” Later, Luther offered this definition: “Marriage is the divinely instituted and lawful union of a man and a woman.”

Though Luther’s definition of marriage had much in common with that of his Christian forefathers, he developed his own doctrine of marriage in contrast to the medieval exaltation of celibacy as the noblest way of life for the Christian. With Paul (1 Tim. 4:1–3), he argued that Satanic influences had led people to think of marriage as impure and a concession to human weakness, and one fruit of the Reformation was the restoration of the honor of marriage and a realistic assessment of celibacy as practical only for those with “a greater gift than ordinary folks.”

The Goodness and Honor of the Woman One’s view of marriage is inseparable from one’s view of women. Luther’s view of women is complex, for it both affirms and denies their equality in ²⁶ He said the first woman “was not the equal of the male in different respects. 27 but she did share the same essential humanity and image glory and prestige,” of God (Gen. 1:27). Luther noted:

Thus even today the woman is the partaker of the future life, just as Peter says that they are joint heirs of the same grace (1 Peter 3:7). In the household the wife is a partner in the management and has a common interest in the children and property, and yet there is a great difference between the sexes. The male is like the sun in heaven, the female is like the moon, the animals like the stars, over which the sun and moon have dominion.

Luther elsewhere said that woman by creation was “the equal of Adam” in ability and dominion over the earth and would have remained so apart from the ²⁹ Luther believed that the fall of mankind resulted in woman’s subjection to fall. 30 Unlike some in Christendom, Luther did not blame her husband (Gen. 3:16). 31 He said Eve women for the fall, but blamed the weakness of human nature. should be “praised as a most holy woman, full of faith and love” when considered after the fall.

For a man of his time and place, Luther was no misogynist. He supported ³³ Women are evangelical efforts to defend the female gender against sexist slurs. not a curse, but a blessing from God. Luther said, “Imagine what it would be like without this [female] sex. The home, cities, economic life, and government would virtually disappear. Men can’t do without women. Even if it were possible for men to beget and bear children, they still couldn’t do without women.”

The Holy and Honorable State of Matrimony Medieval perspectives on marital sex granted the necessity of sexual relations to produce children but lamented the act itself as intrinsically sinful. In the eleventh century, Cardinal Damian viewed sexual relations with horror, arguing that marital sex excluded people from the highest places of heaven. He said sex is righteous only if one takes no pleasure in it.

By contrast, Luther stressed the goodness and honor of sexual relations between husband and wife (Heb. 13:4). He said:

This estate should not be condemned and rejected as something foul and unclean, as the pope and his followers do. For to be married is an ordinance and institution of God, since when God created man and woman, he himself placed them in this estate in which they not only could but should live godly, honorable, pure, and chaste lives, bearing children and peopling the world, indeed, the kingdom of God.

Husbands and wives should thank God for giving them their own distinct ³⁷ Even if the genders and placing them together “in the holy estate of marriage.”

Lord Jesus were to come in glory “when man and woman were having marital intercourse,” they would have no reason to fear, for they would be fulfilling the ³⁸ Sex in marriage is not sin; the “natural, ardent calling God placed upon them. 39 Satan “slanders and shames desire” of sexual attraction is ordained by God. 40 Though marriage but adulterers, whores, and knaves remain in highest honor.” lust, pain, and shame have marred our sexuality since the fall, we must never cease to recognize the goodness of God’s creation, for the Holy Spirit is ⁴¹ In unashamed to speak of human sexuality in His most pure and holy Word. particular, Luther rejected the idea that making love to one’s spouse with great passion is the equivalent of adultery.

Luther was deeply concerned with the plight of priests, monks, and nuns forbidden by church law to marry, though they often lacked the supernatural gift of celibacy. Luther said they should be allowed to live as husbands or wives with ⁴³ Many priests needed a legitimate outlet for their sexual the people they loved. desires and a woman’s help in housekeeping. Luther said that in appointing female housekeepers, the church was “putting straw and fire together and ⁴⁴ He encouraged priests, monks, and nuns to forbidding them to smoke or burn!” get married despite the severe penalties that Roman authorities often imposed.

Luther urged one of his young theological students: “You cannot be without a wife and remain without sin. After all, marriage is an ordinance and creation of God. Therefore it is not Satan’s idea when a man desires to marry an honorable girl, for Satan hates this kind of life. So make the venture in the name of the Lord and on the strength of his blessing and institution!”

The Dangers that Threaten Marriage Luther urged people to seek God’s blessing on their marriages from beginning to end. God created the first woman and brought her to Adam, so people today should “earnestly pray to God for a spouse,” knowing that a wife is ⁴⁷ They should also pray for the grace to persevere a gift from God (Prov. 19:14). in love for each other, realizing that the devil can tear apart a marriage through bitter hatred.

Luther warned that “the devil cannot bear to see spouses living together in ⁴⁹ Spouses must not think they live in harmony,” so he wars against marriages. 50 Our sinful paradise; marriage must be lived out “in the midst of demons.” condition also wars against marriage. Luther wrote, “Our old Adam does not like ⁵¹ Luther also what God gives, and what [God] does not give, that he wants.” described what could happen if “old Adam” prevails in marriage:

I have often seen two of you come together with great burning desire and love, and each wanted to gobble up the other out of love, but before even half a year had passed, he was an adulterer and she, an adulteress.

Others I have known to be married and at enmity with each other, yet they produced five or six children together—thus they were bound one to the other not only by marriage but also by their offspring—and still they ran away from each other.

Despite the fickleness of fallen mankind, Luther said the law of creation (Gen. 2) and of Christ (Matt. 19) prohibited divorce except in cases of adultery ⁵³ Luther concluded, “If you get angry and become at odds with or abandonment. each other, then be reconciled to each other again…. But there should be no ⁵⁴ Marriage is “a divine order and institution that He does divorce among you.” ⁵⁵ Luther counseled one husband want to have torn apart, but united until death.” that even though he had the right to divorce his wife, it would be better to show her mercy and patience “if she behaves uprightly in the future,” for “grace goes before the law.”

Although marriage is an earthly, temporal institution, it is restored to its divine purpose by the heavenly grace of Christ obtained through faith and prayer. Michael Parsons explains: “The gospel confirms and establishes the creation ordinances of God. So it is by the grace of God and through the Word ⁵⁷ When the Luther family that he restores marriage to what it ought to be.” received news of a woman caught in adultery and her husband’s violent response, Katie exclaimed, “How can people be so wicked and defile themselves with such sin!” Martin replied, “Ah, dear Katy, people don’t pray.”

Love and Authority in Marriage Luther also taught that the husband is the head of the household, and his wife should voluntarily submit to his authority, even if he is an unbeliever (1 59 Inward submission based on a desire to please God is “a high and Peter 3:1). noble treasure” that makes all of a wife’s works “golden” and her person ⁶⁰ The godly wife need not live in fear but can “magnificent” and rich in Christ. live with confidence in the reign of God over all things, knowing that He is pleased with her.

Luther observed that a meek and quiet spirit is “a rare quality in a woman,” and the female inclination to rule often results in “marital discord, blows, and ⁶² He spoke frankly about marital conflict and domestic abuse, saying, beatings.” “Women are a fragile sex and under authority; therefore they can suffer ⁶³ He admonished men not to miserably…. The rule is perfect, but life is not.” beat their wives, for voluntary submission cannot be coerced. He warned husbands: “You will accomplish nothing with blows; they will not make a woman pious and submissive. If you beat one devil out of her, you will beat two into her, as the saying goes.”

He exhorted husbands to remember their wives’ physical and emotional weaknesses, and to be patient and positive in their attitude toward them. He said, ⁶⁵ He also admonished “One can always find more good than bad in women.” husbands to “take on the form of a servant” like Christ (Phil. 2:7), but he said that they must not stand by passively when their wives defiantly trample on their ⁶⁶ The husband must treat his wife with thoughtful care, “for you are authority. her husband to help, support, and protect her, not to harm her.” Luther urged men to honor their Christian wives, knowing that in having such wives they ⁶⁷ A husband must exercise possess all the blessings of Christ (1 Peter 3:7). authority over his wife “with love and discernment,” Luther said. If his wife is angry and hurt, a harsh reply may break “the bond of marriage, namely, love,” and give Satan a place in the family.

Luther affirmed the spiritual equality of the different roles of men and women: “For inwardly we are all alike; there is no difference between a man and a woman. Externally, however, God wants the husband to rule and the wife to be ⁶⁹ This reflects Luther’s distinction between the spiritual submissive to him.” kingdom of Christ, in which all believers are equal (Gal. 3:28), and the temporal kingdom of this world, in which social life is defined by distinctions of status and authority in the order established by God.

The Health of the Marital Relationship For Luther, marriage is not just an economic and physical arrangement but a relationship of love. God intended that “the love of a man and woman” should ⁷¹ It is “not good” for man to be alone, be “the greatest and purest of all loves.”

God said (Gen. 2:18), because (1) men need women to increase the human race, (2) “for companionship,” (3) for help in administrating the home—“the management of the household must have the ministration of the dear ladies”—and (4) as “an antidote against sin,” so that people do not commit fornication. Luther saw marriage as sharing life together for the glory of God: “For if the wife is honorable, virtuous, and pious, she shares in all the cares, endeavors, duties, and functions of her husband.”

Luther emphasized the goodness of sexual relations in marriage in contrast to the asceticism of enforced celibacy. He said an essential component of ⁷⁴ Luther also said that wives “should marriage is “the natural desire of sex.” ⁷⁵ He called for “moderation in intercourse” and enjoy their husbands’ bodies.” for husbands and wives to “not grow tired of their own spouses and lose their desire for them,” lamenting, “I have seen many who became disgusted with ⁷⁶ Sexual relations in marriage must be governed by the law of marital relations.” love, in which each party offers his or her body to serve the needs of the other (1 Cor. 7).

God also designed marriage for friendship and companionship. The relationship intended by God between husband and wife is “inseparable and ⁷⁸ Spouses cannot simply take for granted that they once made vows to intimate.” each other or that they share a bed; they must work at becoming more united in mind and habit. Luther said: “There’s more to it than a union of flesh. There must be harmony with respect to patterns of life and ways of thinking. The bonds of matrimony alone won’t do it.”

The marriage of Martin and Katie Luther was marked by affection and joy. Though he did not pursue her out of sexual desire, Luther said, “I cherish her,” ⁸⁰ He which was “a strong affirmation of love that goes deeper than passion.” addressed his letters to Katie, “My Dearest,” and ended them, “Your Loved One,” which were not conventional expressions. He said, “With the woman who has been joined to me by God I may jest [and] have fun.”

Luther also stressed the importance of trust in marriage to achieve true intimacy. Referring to Proverbs 31:11, he said: “Among the foremost praises of a wife is this, that her husband’s heart trusts her…. And truly, if there is no trust, hearts will never unite closely; nor will there ever be any true love between them. But this world has nothing more beautiful than this union of hearts ⁸² He said that when such trust is moderated by a realistic between spouses.” view of one’s spouse as a fallible human being, it makes one “readier to forgive” and prevents harmony from being disturbed. The Scriptures commend love and ⁸³ Luther expressed “mutual trust” between spouses, not “suspicion and hatred.” confidence in Katie when he praised her in his will of 1542 “as a pious and faithful spouse” who “has at all times held me dear.”

Luther on Family Life

Luther also appreciated family life, both as a natural blessing and a means of sanctification. Ulrich Leupold writes, “In opposition to the medieval glorification of celibacy, Luther never tired of praising the married estate as a divine institution. No wonder he loved and frequently quoted the 128th ⁸⁵ Luther said the names “father” and “mother” are the greatest honors of Psalm!” our sexuality, and procreation is “delightful” and “sacred.”

A year after Katie married Martin, she bore Hans (1526); followed by Elizabeth (1528), who died eight months later to the piercing grief of her father; Magdalene (1529); Martin (1531); Paul (1533); and Margaret (1534). The Luthers also shared their home with the children of Martin’s sister, Katie’s aunt, ⁸⁷ It was a busy household. and various students and visitors.

The Duties of a Child toward Father and Mother Luther taught that honoring those in authority over us, especially our parents, is our highest duty to mankind (Ex. 20:12). Keeping the rest of the Ten Commandments in future generations depends on keeping this command (Ps. 88 All authority among human beings derives from the authority of 78:5–6). 89 Luther defined honor broadly: “It means that we obey parents over children. them, have regard for what they do and what they say, esteem them highly, give way to them, and accept what they say.” Honor requires “that we endure their treatment of us without complaint,” unless they command us to be unfaithful to God, and to “provide them with food, clothing, and shelter when they are in need.” Honor means respect joined with love, not fear and hate, but a fear of ⁹⁰ Luther believed that went far offending our parents joined with trust in them. beyond mere courtesy and necessitated a humble awareness that there is a “majesty hidden” bestowed on parents by God.

Honoring one’s parents is difficult, for the commands of godly parents often cut across a child’s corrupt will, and he is tempted to despise them, complain against them, or worse. Children need God’s grace to truly honor their parents. The tendency of children by nature is to respond to discipline and to being ⁹³ Yet, honoring one’s parents restrained from evil with “poisonous resentment.” bears fruit in generations to come. Luther warned, “This is why so few marriages turn out well,” namely, because in the first place the couple scorned their parents.

Luther loved and honored his own parents. In February 1530, Luther wrote a beautiful letter of gospel hope to his dying father. Luther’s parents had embraced the evangelical faith, attended Luther’s wedding to Katie, and visited the family ⁹⁵ Luther’s father died on May 29, and Luther wrote to several times.

Melanchthon, “This death has cast me into deep mourning, not only because of the ties of nature but also because it was through his sweet love to me that my Creator endowed me with all that I am and have.” Luther found consolation, however, in the way his father died: “My father fell asleep softly and strong in his faith in Christ.” Even so, Luther wrote that “his kindness and the memory of his pleasant conversation have caused so deep a wound in my heart that I have scarcely ever held death in such low esteem.”

A year later, Luther’s mother, Margaret, also died. When Luther heard of her illness, he wrote a tender letter reminding her that Jesus Christ is the Savior and that He has overcome the world (John 16:33). He concluded, “All your children and my Katie pray for you. Some weep. Others say when they eat, ‘Grandmother is very sick.’ God’s grace be with us all. Amen.”

The Good Works of Being a Father and Mother Luther viewed family life as a noble, heavenly calling. As he saw it, nothing is more important in our pilgrimage to heaven than bringing up our children in the Lord, and nothing damns parents to hell so effectively as allowing their children to sin without discipline. Luther wrote that each father should “regard his child as nothing else but an eternal treasure God has commanded him to protect, and so prevent the world, the flesh, and the devil from stealing the child away and bringing him to destruction.”

Luther believed that the Christian home is where faith can work by love to please God. Faith is the first and most fundamental work of the Christian (John 6:28–29), for it alone gives the sinner confidence before God through Christ’s death (1 John 2:1–2) and makes the heart “sweet” toward God, thus motivating ⁹⁹ Christian parenting is a prime example of the all other good works. compassion for the needy that Christ said would set apart the righteous on judgment day (Matt. 25:35–36). However, apart from faith in Christ, no work of child-rearing pleases God.

Good works require practical management of resources. A husband and wife serve God in an economic partnership with each other, which Luther summarized in the aphorism, “The husband should earn and the wife save.” Luther said, “It is the chief praise of a woman if she takes care of the house” with “decency and discipline” (see Titus 2:5). This involves avoiding “frivolous” spending of the husband’s income, cheerfully staying at home, and working in 102 Luther’s refusal to take payment for his books and his immense the kitchen. generosity and hospitality to others greatly strained the household budget, but Katie’s careful oversight of their finances and property helped to keep them afloat.

Through faith in Christ, household work becomes holy work. Luther said the 104 If a wife Holy Spirit is unashamed to bless a woman’s household chores. works in the kitchen, feeds the children, washes them, and puts them to bed as a 105 In Christ, the ordinary becomes believer trusting in Christ, then she is a saint. extraordinary: “The life of married people, if they are in the faith, deserves to be 106 Indeed, in the ordinary rated higher than those who are famous for miracles.” labors of common life, men and women serve as God’s coworkers.

The good works of the Christian home are not limited to the home, but also serve the purposes of mission and doxology (Titus 2:5). Luther said to wives and parents, “Through faith we are justified; through good works God is glorified…. And God wants to use your life to convert other nations, that the kingdom of Christ may be expanded.” Thus the ordinary duties of home and family, if pursued faithfully, will support the church’s evangelistic mission and impact the world for the glory of God.

Bringing Up Children in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord Luther said parents should not merely lavish honors and possessions on their children but should “enrich their souls with the arts, with study, with sound literature,” and especially “in the fear of God.” If this is done diligently, fathers and mothers will find that they have “plenty of opportunity” to practice godliness and good works in their own households without running around 109 Luther strongly believed in education. He looking for something to do. required that Katie study the Bible, though she sometimes felt that she knew enough; he had his children tutored by older students, and his sons studied law, theology, and medicine.

Luther used catechisms to encourage household piety. In the Small Catechism, Luther directed the head of the household to teach his family the meaning of the Lord’s Supper, how to begin and end each day in prayer, and 111 He also included a list of Scripture verses how to give thanks to God at meals. relevant to different kinds of people, including husbands (Col. 3:19; ¹ Peter 3:7), 112 Luther wives (1 Peter 3:1, 6), parents (Eph. 6:4), and children (Eph. 6:1–3). wanted to shift the focus of spirituality from the monastery to the home, turning each family into a house of prayer with every member instructed by the Word of Christ. In the preface to his Large Catechism, he wrote, “It is the duty of every head of household at least once a week to examine the children one after 113 They should be required to recite the Ten another” in their knowledge.

Commandments, the Apostles’ Creed, and the Lord’s Prayer every day “when they arise in the morning, when they go their meals, and when they go to bed at night.”

Luther said loving one’s children requires a regular use of “the rod and discipline” because of the foolishness of a child’s heart (Prov. 3:11; 23:13). Luther believed in corporal discipline, but a restrained and merciful use of it. Luther said: “One shouldn’t whip children too hard. My father once whipped me so severely that I ran away from him, and he was worried that he might not win me back again. I wouldn’t like to strike my little Hans [almost six years old at the time] very much, lest he should become shy and hate me.” Luther reminded his hearers that though God chastises His children, He is quick to rescue and 116 Discipline must be joined with kindness: “One raise up those who run to Him. 117 He must punish in such a way that the rod is accompanied by the apple.” warned that a harsh and stern father “makes his children either dispirited or hopeless,” and said, “Praise and punishment belong together.”

Luther called people to use “simple and playful methods” to “bring up young people in the fear and honor of God.” Mere corporal discipline will not build heart conviction but will only result in temporary conformity. Therefore, God’s people must teach children at their level, using “baby talk” that will “sink into 119 Luther concluded, “Therefore let all heads of a household their minds.” remember that it is their duty, by God’s injunction and command, to teach their children or have them taught the things they ought to know.”

Luther summed up the godly parent’s legacy in his words to his one-year-old son when he put him to bed, perhaps sung as a lullaby: “Go now and be godly. No money will I leave you, but a rich God will I leave you. Only be godly.”

The Christian Family in a Fallen World Luther grounded his teaching on family life upon earthy realism. He knew that Katie had her hands full. In 1532, she was nursing one child while pregnant 122 Later in 1540, she was incapacitated for two or three months with another. 123 Yet for all the burdens of motherhood, she was amazingly after a miscarriage. active. One biographer wrote, “Kate became gardener, fisher, brewer, fruit grower, cattle and horse breeder, cook, bee-keeper, provisioner, nurse, and 124 In 1542, for example, the Luthers had five cows, nine calves, one vintner.” goat, two kids, eight pigs, two sows, and three piglets.

As a family man, Luther said celibacy is full of temptations, but he also admitted that marriage is full of busyness and annoyances. He said, “We have become so infected with original sin that there’s no kind of life which, once undertaken, isn’t a matter of regret at times.” Yet, he said, “It seems to me that it is the pleasantest kind of life to have a moderate household, to live with an obedient wife, and to be content with little.”

Luther delighted in his children. He believed that “children are a gift of God and come solely through the blessing of God” (Ps. 127:3), a point overlooked by 127 One day, pagans who view children as the result of mere nature and accident.

Luther chatted with his seven-year-old son about his doll, and commented on the simplicity and natural playfulness of children, which Luther said makes them 128 The Luther home was full of music, for Luther loved to “the dearest jesters.” sing in harmony with his family and guests.

Life was not without sorrow, however. On September 20, 1542, Luther’s daughter Magdalene died at age thirteen after a short illness. While the girl was dying, Luther tried to comfort his sobbing wife by saying, “Think where she’s going. She’ll get along all right.”

As Magdalene declined further, he prayed, “I love her very much. But if it is thy will to take her, dear God, I shall be glad to know that she is with thee.” He asked the young lady lying in her bed, “Dear Magdalene, my little daughter, you would be glad to stay here with me, your father. Are you also glad to go to your Father in heaven?” She said, “Yes, dear Father, as God wills.” Luther exclaimed, “You dear little girl!” and marveled that God had given him such great gifts. He got down on his knees and held his daughter, weeping and still praying for God to spare her, but then said, “Thy will be done.”

Magdalene died in his arms. Melanchthon stood by and marveled, “If the love of God for the human race is as great as the love of parents for their children, then it is truly great and ardent.” As they laid Magdalene in a coffin, Luther remarked, “It’s strange to know that she is surely at peace and that she is well off there, very well off, and yet to grieve so much!” When they buried her, Luther said, “There is a resurrection of the flesh.”

Luther understood that marriage and child-rearing take place in a world deeply marred by sin and death. He said “bearing one’s cross” was one of the 133 Yet, the believer does not shirk responsibilities primary purposes of marriage. such as changing diapers and nursing sick children, and he does not complain at the “bitterness and drudgery.” He sees parenting as pleasing to God, a divine service for which sinners are “not worthy.” When Christians parent their children by faith in Christ, “God, with all his angels and creatures, is smiling.” Thus, Christian family life is part of our “cross-marked vocation,” as Gustaf Wingren wrote, where we experience our union with Christ in His crucifixion 135 Luther believed that the stresses of and resurrection in our ordinary callings. family life offer one of the best environments in which to cultivate Christian discipleship.

Conclusion: The Legacy of the Luther Family

Luther died on February 18, 1546. Just a week earlier, he had teased Katie about her anxiety about him, addressing a letter, “Martin Luther to the holy lady, full of worries.” He counseled her, “Pray, and let God worry. You have certainly not been commanded to worry about me or yourself. ‘Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you’” (Ps. 55:22).

Katie had many burdens to cast on the Lord after her husband died. She was forced to flee Wittenberg due to the Schmalkaldic War, and she resided elsewhere from November 1546 to January 1547, and again from April to June

1547. During the war, the family’s property and possessions were destroyed, leaving Katie impoverished and dependent on the support of others. Next, the plague came to Wittenberg in 1552, forcing the university to retreat to Torgau. In the process of the move, Katie fell in a ditch full of cold water. Seriously 138 It is weakened, she died on December 20, 1552, not quite fifty-four years old. reported that before she died, she declared that she would “cling to Christ like a burr to a dress.”

The Luther family lived and died by faith grounded in love. Luther deeply loved his parents, wife, and children. His household became an open book for guests to read of the sanctity of ordinary life shared by a former monk and a former nun. In both his writings and relationships, Martin Luther presented a vision of the family that was full of the angst and ugliness of life in a fallen world and yet was brightened by faith in the Lord.

Luther perpetuated the traditional and biblical understanding of the family as a social state ordered by God in relationships of well-defined authority. At the same time, he gleaned from Holy Scripture a vibrant view of the goodness of women; the honor of sexual intimacy between spouses; the importance of affection, kindness, and trust in the marital relationship; and the sacred calling of raising children in the Lord.

By word and deed, this Reformer helped to restore to European society a model of a truly evangelical domestic life. Just as Luther translated the Bible into the language of the common people, so he translated Christian spirituality into the world of the marriage bed, the cradle, and the dinner table.

Notes

Notes

1. On Luther’s life, see Martin Brecht, Martin Luther, trans. James L. Schaaf, 3 vols. (Minneapolis: Fortress, 1985, 1990, 1993). I wish to thank Paul M. Smalley for his invaluable research assistance on this chapter.

2. William H. Lazareth, Luther on the Christian Home: An Application of the Social Ethics of theReformation(Philadelphia: Muhlenberg, 1960), vii.

3. Brecht, Martin Luther: Shaping and Defining the Reformation, 1521–1532, 95.

4. Michael Parsons, Reformation Marriage: The Husband and Wife Relationship in the Theology ofLuther and Calvin, Rutherford Studies in Historical Theology (Edinburgh, Scotland: Rutherford House, 2005), 2.

5. “A Sermon on the Estate of Marriage (1519),” trans. James Atkinson, in LW, 44:10–12.

6. “The Babylonian Captivity of the Church (1520),” trans. A.T.W. Steinhäuser, rev. Frederick C. Ahrens and Abdel R. Wentz, in LW, 36:18, 124.

7. LW, 36:92–96.

8. Christopher N.L. Brooke, The Medieval Idea of Marriage(Oxford, England: Oxford University Press, 1989), 61–62. On this topic, see also Frances Gies and Joseph Gies, Marriage and the Family inthe Middle Ages(New York: Harper and Row, 1987).

9. Eileen Power, Medieval Women, ed. M.M. Postan (Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press, 1975), 34.

10. Peter Lombard, The Sentences, trans. Giulio Silano (Toronto: Pontifical Institutes of Mediaeval Studies, 2008), 2:77 (b. 2, dist. xviii, ch. 2).

11. B.J. van der Walt, “Woman and Marriage in the Middle Ages, in Calvin, and in Our Own Time,” in John Calvin’s Institutes: His Magnum Opus, proceedings of the Second South African Congress for Calvin Research, ed. B.J. van der Walt (Potchefstroom, South Africa: Potchefstroom University for Christian Higher Education, 1986), 188.

12. LW, 45:36, quoted in Scott H. Hendrix, “Luther on Marriage,” in Harvesting Martin Luther’sReflections on Theology, Ethics, and the Church, ed. Timothy J. Wengert (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 2004), 170.

13. Brecht, Shaping and Defining the Reformation, 95.

14. Parsons, Reformation Marriage, 79.

15. “Matthew 18–24, Expounded in Sermons,” in LW, Vol. 68: Sermons on the Gospel of Matthew,Chapters 19–24, ed. Benjamin T.G. Mayes (St. Louis: Concordia, 2014), 16.

16. Brecht, Shaping and Defining the Reformation, 196.

17. Ibid., 197–200.

18. LW, 54:191.

19. Brecht, Shaping and Defining the Reformation, 202.

20. LW, 54:7.

21. Brecht, Shaping and Defining the Reformation, 200.

22. “Sermon on the Estate of in Marriage,”LW, 44:7–9.

23. LW, Vol. 1: Lectures on Genesis, Chapters 1–5, ed. Jaroslav Pelikan (Philadelphia: Fortress), 134 (Gen. 2:22).

24. LW, Vol. 4: Lectures on Genesis, Chapters 21–25, ed. Jaroslav Pelikan and Walter A. Hansen (St. Louis: Concordia, 1964), 244 (Gen. 24:1–4). For Luther’s views on bigamy and polygamy, see Martin Luther, Letters of Spiritual Counsel, ed. and trans. Theodore G. Tappert (Vancouver: Regent College Publishing, 1960), 276, 288–91; LW, Vol. 3: Lectures on Genesis, Chapters 15–20, ed. Jaroslav Pelikan (St. Louis: Concordia, 1961), 45–47 (Gen. 16:1–2, 4); “Table Talk,” Nos. 414, 5046, 5096, in LW, 54:65–66, 382, 387–90.

25. LW, 1:135 (Gen. 2:22).

26. Parsons, Reformation Marriage, 188–92.

27. LW, 1:69 (Gen. 1:27).

28. Ibid.

29. Ibid., 1:115 (Gen. 2:18).

30. Ibid., 1:203 (Gen. 3:16). See Mickey L. Mattox, “Luther on Eve, Women, and the Church,” in ThePastoral Luther: Essays on Martin Luther’s Practical Theology, ed. Timothy J. Wengert (Grand Rapids, Mich.: Eerdmans, 2009), 263.

31. LW, Vol. 2: Lectures on Genesis, Chapters 6–14, eds. Jaroslav Pelikan and Daniel E. Poellot (St. Louis: Concordia, 1960), 30 (Gen. 6:3).

32. LW, 1:324–25 (Gen. 4:25).

33. Scott H. Hendrix, “Christianizing Domestic Relations: Women and Marriage in Johann Freder’s Dialogus dem Ehestand zu Ehren,”Sixteenth Century Journal 23, No. 2 (1992): 251–66.

34. LW, 54:161.

35. Parsons, Reformation Marriage, 85, 88; Brooke, The Medieval Idea of Marriage, 73.

36. “Sermon at Marriage of Sigismund von Lindenau,” in LW, 51:359.

37. Ibid., 51:360.

38. Ibid., 51:362.

39. LW, 54:324; To Wolfgang Reissenbusch, March 27, 1525, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, ed. and trans. Theodore G. Tappert, Library of Christian Classics XVIII (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1955), 272–73.

40. To Wolfgang Reissenbusch, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 274–75.

41. LW, 54:31; LW, 1:104 (Gen. 2:16–17).

42. Jane E. Strohl, “Luther on Marriage, Sexuality, and the Family,” in The Oxford Handbook ofMartin Luther’s Theology, ed. Robert Kolb, Irene Dingel, and L’ubomír Batka (Oxford, England: Oxford University Press, 2014), 374. Henceforth cited as Oxford Handbook.

43. “To the German Nobility Concerning the Reform of the Christian Estate (1520),”LW, 44:177.

44. Ibid., 44:178.

45. To Three Nuns, August 6, 1524, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 271; To Wolfgang Reissenbusch, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 274; Brecht, Shaping and Defining theReformation, 100–101; Table Talk nos. 1346, 2925b, in LW, 54:141–42, 181.

46. LW, 54:31.

47. “Sermon on the Estate of Marriage,” in LW, 44:8.

48. LW, 54:25–26.

49. LW, 68:14.

50. Paul Althaus, The Ethics of Martin Luther, trans. Robert C. Schultz (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1972), 91.

51. LW, 68:14.

52. Ibid..

53. Ibid., 68:6; To John Wickmann, November 2, 1537, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 284; “Table Talk,” Nos. 3967, 4499, in LW, 54:302, 349.

54. LW, 68:8.

55. Ibid., 68:12.

56. To Valentine Hausmann, January 27, 1538, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 285.

57. Parsons, Reformation Marriage, 120. He cites LW, 29:20; 17:139; 33:52; 54:177.

58. LW, 54:415.

59. Sermons on the First Epistle of St. Peter (1523),” in LW, Vol. 30: The Catholic Epistles, ed. Jaroslav Pelikan and Walter A Hansen (St. Louis: Concordia, 1967), 87.

60. LW, 30:88, 90.

61. Ibid., 30:91.

62. “Lectures on Titus (1527),” in LW, Vol. 29: Lectures on Titus, Philemon, and Hebrews, ed. Jaroslav Pelikan (St. Louis: Concordia, 1968), 55.

63. LW, 29:57.

64. LW, 30:88.

65. LW, 29:57; cf. “Sermons on the First Epistle of St. Peter,” in LW, 30:91.

66. To Stephen Roth, April 12, 1528, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 277–78.

67. “Sermons on the First Epistle of St. Peter,” in LW, 30:92–93.

68. LW, 3:58 (Gen. 16:6).

69. LW, 30:93.

70. Parsons, Reformation Marriage, 127–30. For a table on the distinctions between the spiritual kingdom and the temporal kingdom in Luther’s theology, see pp. 122–23n74.

71. “Sermon on the Estate of Marriage,” in LW, 44:8.

72. LW, 1:116 (Gen. 2:18).

73. Ibid., 1:137 (Gen. 2:23).

74. LW, 54:25.

75. LW, 29:54.

76. Ibid., 29:56.

77. Strohl, “Luther on Marriage, Sexuality, and the Family,” in Oxford Handbook, 374.

78. LW, 1:117 (Gen. 2:18).

79. LW, 54:444.

80. Hendrix, “Luther on Marriage,” in Harvesting Martin Luther’s Reflections, 179, citing LW, Vol.49: Letters II, ed. Gottfried G. Krodel (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1972), 117.

81. Brecht, The Preservation of the Church, 235.

82. LW, 2:301 (Gen. 12:11–13).

83. Ibid., 2:302.

84. Brecht, The Preservation of the Church, 244.

85. Ulrich S. Leupold, editorial introduction to Martin Luther, “Happy Who in God’s Fear Doth Stay” (1524), trans. George MacDonald, in LW, Vol. 53: Liturgy and Hymns, ed. Ulrich S. Leupold (Philadelphia: Fortress, 1965), 242–43.

86. LW, 1:118 (Gen. 2:18).

87. Brecht, Shaping and Defining the Reformation, 203–4, 432; Brecht, The Preservation of theChurch, 20–21.

88. “Treatise on Good Works” (1520), in LW, 44:81, 83.

89. Althaus, The Ethics of Martin Luther, 99.

90. “Treatise on Good Works,” in LW, 44:81.

91. Althaus, The Ethics of Martin Luther, 100. On parental authority over the marriage of a son or daughter, see Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 263–69, 283, 286–88; “Table Talk,” No. 5441, in LW, 54:424.

92. “Treatise on Good Works,” in LW, 44:82.

93. “Ten Sermons on the Catechism” (1528), ed. and trans. John W. Doberstein, in LW, 51:146.

94. “Ten Sermons on the Catechism,” in LW, 51:147.

95. To Father John Luther, February 15, 1530, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 29–32. On his father’s faith, see “Table Talk,” No. 1388, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 32–33.

96. Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 30.

97. To Mrs. John Luther, May 20, 1531, in Luther: Letters of Spiritual Counsel, 33–36.

98. “Sermon on the Estate of Marriage,” in LW, 44:12–13.

99. “Treatise on Good Works,” in LW, 44:23, 37.

100. “Treatise on Good Works,” in LW, 44:85–87.

101. LW, 54:337.

102. Luther, “Lectures on Titus,” in LW, 29:56.

103. Rudolf K. Markwald and Marilynn M. Markwald, Katharina von Bora: A Reformation Life(St. Louis: Concordia, 2002), 86–88.

104. LW, 29:56–57.

105. LW, 3:204 (Gen. 18:9).

106. Ibid., 3:210 (Gen. 18:11–12).

107. Lazareth, Luther on the Christian Home, 145.

108. LW, 29:57.

109. Ibid., 29:55.

110. Brecht, The Preservation of the Church, 236–37, 443n12.

111. Martin Luther, The Small Catechism (1529), in The Book of Concord: The Confessions of theEvangelical Lutheran Church, eds. Robert Kolb and Timothy J. Wengert (Minneapolis: Fortress, 2000), 362–64.

112. Luther, “The Household Chart of Some Bible Passages,” The Small Catechism, in The Book ofConcord(2000), 365–66.

113. Martin Luther, preface to the Large Catechism (1529), in The Book of Concord(2000), 383.

114. Luther, Large Catechism, in The Book of Concord(2000), 385.

115. LW, 29:55.

116. LW, 54:157.

117. Ibid., 54:235.

118. Ibid., 54:457.

119. Luther, Large Catechism, in The Book of Concord(2000), 396.

120. Ibid., 476.

121. Brecht, The Preservation of the Church, 20.

122. LW, 54:162.

123. Brecht, The Preservation of the Church, 235.

124. Markwald and Markwald, Katharina von Bora, 82.

125. Brecht, The Preservation of the Church, 243.

126. LW, 54:218.

127. LW, 2:132 (Gen. 9:1).

128. LW, 54:334.

129. Scott H. Hendrix, Martin Luther: A Very Short Introduction(Oxford, England: Oxford University Press, 2010), 78.

130. LW, 54:428.

131. Ibid., 54:430–31.

132. Ibid., 54:431–33.

133. LW, 4:244 (Gen. 24:1–4).

134. LW, 45:39–41, cited in Parsons, Reformation Marriage, 150–51.

135. Gustaf Wingren, Luther on Vocation(Evansville, Ind.: Ballast, 1994), 57–58.

136. Strohl, “Luther on Marriage, Sexuality, and the Family,” in Oxford Handbook, 371.

137. LW, 50:305–6, cited in Michael A.G. Haykin and Victoria J. Haykin, The Christian Lover: TheSweetness of Love and Marriage in the Letters of Believers(Orlando, Fla.: Reformation Trust, 2009), 4.

138. Brecht, The Preservation of the Church, 378.

139. Markwald and Markwald, Katharina von Bora, 192.