Severe Trials in Early Orphan Work, 1838–1843 (part 4 of 6)

Now I saw, that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, whilst meditating, my heart might be brought into experimental communion with the Lord. I began, therefore, to meditate on the New Testament, from the beginning, early in the morning. The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord's blessing upon His precious Word, was to begin to meditate on the Word of God, searching, as it were, into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the Word; not for the sake of preaching on what I had meditated upon; but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul. The result I have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that though I did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer. When thus I have been for awhile making confession, or intercession, or supplication, or have given thanks, I go on to the next words or verse, turning all, as I go on, into prayer for myself or others, as the Word may lead to it; but still continually keeping before me, that food for my own soul is the object of my meditation. The result of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession, thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with my meditation, and that my inner man almost invariably is even sensibly nourished and strengthened and that by breakfast time, with rare exceptions, I am in a peaceful if not happy state of heart. Thus also the Lord is pleased to communicate unto me that which, very soon after, I have found to become food for other believers, though it was not for the sake of the public ministry of the Word that I gave myself to meditation, but for the profit of my own inner man.

The difference then between my former practice and my present one is this. Formerly, when I rose, I began to pray as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time. At all events, I almost invariably began with prayer, except when I felt my soul to be more than usually barren, in which case I read the Word of God for food, or for refreshment, or for a revival and renewal of my inner man, before I gave myself to prayer. But what was the result? I often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, etc.; and often, after having suffered much from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, I only then began really to pray. I scarcely ever suffer now in this way. For my heart being nourished by the truth, being brought into experimental fellowship with God, I speak to my Father, and to my Friend (vile though I am, and unworthy of it!) about the things that He has brought before me in His precious Word.

It often now astonishes mo that I did not sooner see this. In no book did I ever read about it. No public ministry ever brought the matter before me. No private intercourse with a brother stirred me up to this matter. And yet now, since God has taught me this point, it is as plain to me as anything, that the first thing the child of God has to do morning by morning is to obtain food for his inner man. As the outward man is not fit for work for any length of time, except we take food, and as this is one of the first things we do in the morning, so it should be with the inner man. We should take food for that, as every one must allow. Now what is the food for the inner man? Not prayer, but the Word of God; and here again not the simple reading of the Word of God, so that it only passes through our minds, just as water runs through a pipe, but considering what we read, pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts.

When we pray we speak to God. Now, prayer, in order to be continued for any length of time in any other than a formal manner, requires, generally speaking, a measure of strength or godly desire, and the season, therefore, when this exercise of the soul can be most effectually performed, is, after the inner man has been nourished by meditation on the Word of God, where we find our Father speaking to us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to instruct us, to humble us, to reprove us. We may therefore profitably meditate, with God's blessing, though we are ever so weak spiritually; nay, the weaker we are, the more we need meditation for the strengthening of our inner man. There is thus far less to be feared from wandering of mind, than if we give ourselves to prayer, without having had previously time for meditation.

I dwell so particularly on this point because of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment I am conscious of having derived from it myself, and I affectionately and solemnly beseech all my fellowbelievers to ponder this matter. By the blessing of God I ascribe to this mode the help and strength which I have had from God to pass in peace through deeper trials in various ways than I had ever had before; and after having now above forty years tried this way, I can most fully, in the fear of God, commend it. How different when the soul is refreshed and made happy early in the morning, from what it is when, without spiritual preparation, the service, the trials, and the temptations of the day come upon one!

May 29th. To-day I received from the East Indies £100.—Notice here, that without any solicitation, simply in answer to prayer, the Lord is pleased to send us from time to time even large sums, and that from such a distance as the East Indies.

June 4th. Two or three weeks since, a brother at a distance requested me to let him know the names of my bankers, and the names of their agents in London, in order that he might by means of his bankers send me some money. One day after another passed away, and I heard no more about it. To-day I received the following letter:—

My dear Brother,

"I have delayed writing to you under the expectation of seeing you at Bristol; but I am not yet suffered to leave ——. I have, by this post, written to —— of London, desiring them to pay over to the credit of George Müller, the sum of fifty pounds. This apply, dear brother, as the Lord gives you wisdom. I am not concerned at my having been prevented for so many days from sending this money: I am confident it has not been needed."

This last sentence is remarkable. It is now nearly three years since our funds were for the first time exhausted, and only at this period, since then, could it have been said in truth, as far as I remember, that a donation of £50 was not needed.

On the same day came in still further from Hackney £10, besides several small donations.

Gives up Chapel Boxes for his own Support

July 7th. For some time past brother Craik and I have questioned whether, under our present circumstances, the mode of receiving the free-will offerings of the saints among whom we labour, by means of boxes over which our names were fixed, together with the explanation of the object of the boxes, was any longer the more excellent way. We have at last been quite decided about it, and put to-day the following short statement into the press.

"To the Saints in Christ Jesus assembling at Bethesda Chapel, Bristol

Dear Brethren,

"It has seemed well to us to remove from the chapel, the boxes appropriated for the reception of the free-will offerings towards our temporal support. In order to prevent misapprehension or misrepresentation, we desire affectionately to lay before you the following statement of our reasons for taking this step.

"Upon our first coming to Bristol we declined accepting anything in the shape of regular salary, or by means of seat-rents, from the brethren among whom we were labouring. We did not act thus because we thought it wrong that those who were ministered unto in spiritual things should minister unto us in temporal things; but (1) because we would not have the liberality of the brethren to be a matter of constraint, but willingly; (2) because on the ground of James 2:1–6, we objected to seat-rents. Boxes were put up for the sake of those into whose hearts God might put it to desire to act according to that word, 'Let him that is taught in the Word communicate unto him that teacheth in all good things' (Gal. 6:6).

"When the boxes were first put up, we were the only brethren that seemed called to labour in the Word and doctrine. Since then, however, circumstances have considerably altered; and partly from the change in circumstances, and partly from increased light in reference to the position of those who minister the Word, we have for some time past felt that it might be well, for certain reasons, that the present mode of receiving the offerings of the saints should be discontinued. At the same time we are very desirous of having it clearly understood, that, in the great principles which led to the adoption of the boxes, in the first instance, we are unchanged, or rather we are more strengthened, by the experience of more than ten years, in the propriety of rejecting seat-rents and fixed salaries.

"(1) As long as the boxes are there, it ought to be understood for what purpose the money, which is put into them, is applied. This necessity requires that our names should be given, as those who labour in the Word and doctrine. This again has the appearance of elevating ourselves above all the other brethren, and of assuming office to ourselves, instead of just seeking to fill the place which the Holy Ghost may have given us in the body.

"(2) It may please the Lord increasingly to call and qualify other brethren for the work of ruling and teaching in the church; but still, as long as we are looked upon as we have been hitherto, in consequence of our names being affixed to the boxes, unnecessary difficulties may probably be put in the way of any others being fully recognised by the saints generally as occupying, equally with ourselves, the place in which the Lord may set them.

"(3) The question may be asked even now, 'Are these the only labourers?' and the reply would be that there are others who also labour, but who are not supported in the same way. This fact is fitted to give the impression to those who do not know us, that we were seeking to keep our place in the church by some outward title, rather than just filling it up in obedience to the Lord, and quietly leaving it with His Spirit to produce subjection unto us on the part of the saints.

"(4) Lastly, from the manner in which our names appear in public, we have reason to believe that some of the saints look upon us as exclusively the 'ministers,' and thus that some may have felt themselves neglected because not visited personally by us. The notion that two individuals should be able to exercise pastoral inspection over about five hundred and fifty believers, we consider to be very unsound; but for ourselves we feel that it is a responsibility which we dare not take. According to our gift and strength we desire to rule, teach, and feed the sheep of Christ; but we dare not undertake the personal inspection of all who are already gathered, or may be gathered, simply as believers in the Lord Jesus, in this city.

"Thus we have endeavoured very briefly to state our reasons for declining any longer to receive your offerings through boxes publicly put up, and having our names appended to them. We desire grace to serve you more faithfully than ever, and cast ourselves, as we have done hitherto, upon Him who hath said, 'If any man serve ME him will My Father honour.'

"HENRY CRAIK,

"Bristol, July 7, 1841. GEORGE MÜLLER."

When this alteration was made, I had another proof of the many blessings which are connected with the life of faith. Under other circumstances the question would naturally have arisen in my mind, And what will you do for support, if the boxes are removed? How will the offerings come in? Will any come in? But none of these things troubled me even for a moment. I said to myself, somehow or other the Lord will provide for me. If not through the instrumentality of the saints in Bristol, He will send help by means of those who live elsewhere. All I have to do in this matter is, to serve the Lord and to trust in Him, and He will surely take care of my temporal necessities. And thus it has been since July, 1841, also, even as before.

The reader may desire to know, how the Lord has since that time provided for my temporal necessities, seeing that the boxes, which were put up in the two chapels for the reception of the freewill offerings, were removed. I therefore state it. (1) I have received, as at former times, some presents in provisions, clothes, etc., from the saints among whom I labour, and from other saints. (2) Some of the brethren and sisters among whom I labour have either habitually or from time to time put up some money in paper, and directed it to brother Craik or to me, or to both of us, and have put these little money parcels into one of the boxes for the reception of the offerings for the poor saints, or into the boxes into which the free-will contributions for the rent and expenses of the chapels are put. These little packets have been handed over to us by the deacons, and as they were directed so they have been appropriated. (3) In a few cases, brethren and sisters in communion with us have also given me presents in money. (4) The Lord has also continued to incline the hearts of some of His children, not living in Bristol, to send me presents in money, and again and again even those whom I have never seen, and whose names, sometimes, I do not even know.

The only thing that was a real difficulty in my mind in making this alteration was, not that I should be a loser, and much less that the Lord would not care for my temporal necessities; but lest some of the children of God should find, in the removal of the boxes for the reception of the offerings for brother Craik and me, an excuse for doing nothing at all for our temporal necessities; and lest especially the poor, because they might have only pence or halfpence to give, should be deterred from doing so, and thereby both classes should rob themselves of blessing. It was not because I feared to lose the gifts of some; for I can, by the grace of God, say in some measure at least with the apostle Paul, "Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account" (Philip. 4:17). My aim also is, by the help of God, to be brought into that state of heart in which the apostle Paul was when he said, "I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved" (2 Cor. 12:15). But yet, with this desire on my part, I knew that the dear children of God among whom I labour would rob themselves and not me of a blessing, if they did not contribute towards my temporal necessities; and I feared, lest this alteration should be used by Satan as an instrument to their injury. But the mind of God seemed to us, after all, on account of the reasons before stated, that the alteration ought to be made, notwithstanding any possible evils which might result from it.

We are thus in such a position, that there is free room for the Holy Ghost to commend all the various labourers among us, according to the measure of grace and gift given to them, to the consciences of the brethren, not only with reference to their spiritual position in the body, but also with reference to their temporal need.

August 7th. To-day we had one sixpence left for our own personal necessities. We needed some money to buy eggs and cocoa for a brother who is come to stay with us, when this brother gave me four shillings, which he had brought for me from the place whence he comes. Thus we are helped for the present.

August 26th. After a season of comparative poverty with reference to myself, though always having what was really needful in the way of nourishing food, etc., a brother sent me to-day £17 18s. from a considerable distance, of which half is for the Orphans, and half for my own temporal necessities.

September 2nd. During the last four months we have had more in hand for the Orphans than we needed. Since July, 1838, when for the first time the funds were exhausted, we have had at no period so much money in hand. There was, as it were, during these four months, one continual even running of the river of God's bounty, both by presents in money and articles.—As we had now for several months abounded in a greater degree than at any previous time of the same length during the past three years and three months, so it pleased the Lord after this period to try our faith more severely than during any time since the work first commenced. Indeed, so sharp were the trials of our faith for more than six months after this;—so long the seasons when, day after day, only daily supplies were granted to us, and when even from meal to meal we had to look to the Lord;—so long had we to continue in prayer, and yet help seemed to fail;—that it can only be ascribed to the especial mercy of God, that the faith of those who were engaged in this work did not altogether fail, and that they did not entirely grow weary of this way of carrying on the Lord's work, and go, in despair of help from God, back again to the habits and maxims of this evil world. How my fellow-labourers have felt during all this time, I am, of course, unable to state; but, if I may speak of myself, I joyfully state, to the praise of the Lord, that during all the following months my faith was sustained without wavering, but still so greatly was it tried, that often I had no other petition but that the Lord would be pleased to continue it, and that He would pity me as a father pitieth his children. In the midst of the trial I was fully assured that the Lord would lighten His hand in His own good time, and that, whilst it lasted, it was only in order that in a small measure, for the benefit of the Church of God generally, that word might be fulfilled in us—"Whether we be afflicted it is for your consolation." I now give an account of the commencement and progress of our trial of faith during the months which succeeded the time of abundance.

October 1st. When I had not one penny in hand for the necessities of this day, there was brought to me this morning 10s. for the Orphans, which had been sent from Kensington. In the paper, which contained the money, was written: "Your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of THESE things." "Trust in the Lord." This word of our Lord is to me of more value than many Bank Notes. About five minutes later I received from an Irish sister £10.

October 6th. As only £4 more had been received for the Orphans since Oct. 1st, the last money had now again been given out to supply this day's necessities, when £2 15s. came in, being the produce of some of the articles which had been sent from Tetbury. This evening I also received from a brother a sovereign, which his believing wife, on her dying bed, had requested him to give after her decease. There came in likewise this evening by a donation 10s., and by sale of articles £2 10s. 5d.

October 21st. As only between £9 and £10 had come in since the 16th for the Orphans, we were this day again, as is often the case, without anything in hand, when 12s. 2d. was sent from Exmouth.

October 29th. To-day we were again very poor; for not only had I nothing at all in hand, but the provision stores were much reduced. About twelve o'clock a sister gave me 3s. 2d., also from a distance was sent 9d. In the afternoon we were able to dispose of for £3 some articles which had been sent a long time ago. Three shillings came in for needlework, and 2s. 6d. as a donation. Thus we had £3 9s. 5d.—The day before yesterday I had asked the Lord that He would be pleased to send us some potatoes, as we had no means to lay in a stock. This morning I was informed that the same brother who had sent 20 sacks last year, had again ordered 20 sacks to be sent, and 6 sacks have also been given by another individual.

November 2nd. At a time of the greatest poverty, £1 was sent by a lady from Birmingham. About half an hour afterwards I received £10 from a brother, who had saved up £150 and put it into a savings' bank, but who now sees that to devote this money to the promotion of the work of God tends more to the glory of the name of Jesus, than to retain it in a savings' bank upon interest for a time of sickness or old age; for he is assured that should such times come, the same Lord, who has hitherto cared for him, whilst in health and strength, and able to work, will also care for him then. The same brother gave me £3 a fortnight since. This £10 came in very seasonably; for though we had been able to provide for the absolute necessities of today, yet there was want in many respects, especially as a boy is just going out as an apprentice, who needs tools and an outfit.

November 13th. Saturday. This morning I took 1s. out of the box in my house. This one shilling was all there was towards the need of today.—Pause, dear reader, for a few moments! Consider that there are more than a hundred persons to be provided with everything they require; consider that there is no money in hand; and consider also that this is the case not once nor twice in the course of the year, but very frequently. Is it not precious, under such circumstances, to have the living God as a Father to go to, who is ever able and ever willing to help, as may be really needed? And to this privilege every one has a title who believes in the Lord Jesus, being as such a child of God (Galatians 3:26). For though all the believers in the Lord Jesus are not called upon to establish Orphan Houses, Schools for poor children, etc., and trust in God for means; yet all believers, according to the will of God concerning them in Christ Jesus, may cast, and ought to cast, all their care upon Him who careth for them, and need not be anxiously concerned about anything, as is plainly to be seen from 1 Peter 5:7, Philippians 4:6, Matthew 6:25–34. Under these circumstances of need, a silver watch, which only yesterday afternoon had become the property of the Orphan Fund, was disposed of, whereby we were helped through the expenses of the day. The coals are almost gone in each of the houses. Every article of provision, etc., is likewise much reduced. Truly, we are exceedingly poor; nevertheless there are the necessary provisions till Monday morning, and thus we were brought to the close of another week. This afternoon all the labourers met for prayer.

November 14th. When we met again this afternoon for prayer, we had reason to praise; for the Lord had sent in means. This morning there was given to me £5, and 6s. had come in by sale of articles.

November 16th. The last four days we have daily met for prayer, there being no means to pay the teachers in the Day Schools. Besides this, we need a stove in one of the schoolrooms; also some Bibles and Tracts. To-day I received £2 from a brother at Exmouth. As only 2s. had been given yesterday for the Orphans, there was this morning again only 4s. 6d. in hand, which between ten and eleven o'clock I was on the point of sending to the Orphan Houses, having been called on for money. While I was writing the note to that effect, I received a Post Office Order for £3 from a brother at Barnstaple, which was again a most precious deliverance, as our stores had been in every way much reduced. About two hours later I received £4 more from a brother at Exmouth, the half of which was for the Orphans, and the other half for the other Objects. Through the same brother also was sent with Luke 22:32, £1 for the Orphans.

November 24th. We have been daily meeting for prayer the last twelve days. To-day, just before I was going to the meeting, one of some articles, which came yesterday, was sold for £2 2s., which sum supplies us with means for this day. The donors may not have thought, perhaps, that their bounty would so soon be needed.—When I came to the prayer meeting, I heard of a little circumstance which is worthy of notice. The Infant Orphans took a walk this morning with their teacher. A poor woman came to her, whilst they were walking, and gave her twopence for the benefit of the Orphans, adding "It is but a trifle, but I must give it to you." Now, one of these two pence had been needed, by the time I came, to make up the little sum which was required for the bread.

December 1st. Again many shillings were needed for this day. At the Boys' Orphan House matters so stood in the morning, that, with an addition of eight pence, the dinner could be provided; but there was only seven pence in hand. Brother B. having heard that something had been put last evening into the box at the Girls' Orphan House, went, and it was found to be one penny, which an aged sister had put in, whereby the present need was supplied. Even the gift of this one penny was thus evidently under the ordering of our kind Father, who, not in anger, but for the trial of our faith, keeps us so poor. About ten o'clock this morning there was sent half a sovereign. In the letter was written: "From the wife of a clergyman, for the Orphan Houses." This donation was truly sweet, as coming from our faithful Lord, though it was not nearly enough. But He had pity on us, and sent in still further to-day by the sale of stockings 5s., and by the sale of other articles 12s.

December 7th. Three weeks and three days we have now been daily meeting for prayer, on account of the state of the funds, and to ask the Lord's blessing upon the work. We have been daily asking Him to supply us with means for the School, Bible, Missionary, and Tract Fund. Now, to-day, in this our great poverty, there was sent by a sister, whom I have never seen, the sum of £50, of which, according to her wish, £10 is to be applied to each of these Objects, and £10 for the Orphans. Thus the Lord has been pleased to send us a little help, which is greatly needed for all the Objects; for the teachers have had only as much as was absolutely needful, the Bible stock is almost entirely exhausted, the Tract stock is quite exhausted, and to some missionary brethren we greatly desired to send help, but were unable to do so. Nevertheless, even now we are waiting upon the Lord for further supplies.

When this money came, there was none at all in hand for the Orphans, though fresh supplies were much needed. By this £10, then, the Lord has again helped us for the present.

December 9th. We are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part of the work, having only in hand the money which has been put by for the rent; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with all that was needed.

Postpones Publication of Report

During the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings, at which, for the benefit of the hearers, we stated how the Lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at these meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the Church at large. This time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for a while both the public meetings and the publishing of the Report. Through grace we had learned to lean upon the Lord only, being assured that, if we never were to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long as He should enable us to depend on Himself alone. But whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the Lord's dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some that, in making known our circumstances, we were actuated by some such motives. What better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the living God alone, and not upon public meetings or printed Reports, than that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without saying anything. We therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the Report for a few months. Naturally we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have exposed our poverty at that time; but spiritually we were enabled to delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by the Church at large from our acting as we did.

December 18th. Saturday morning. There is now the greatest need, and only 4d. in hand, which I found in the box at my house; yet I fully believe the Lord will supply us this day also with all that is required.—Pause a few moments, dear reader! Observe two things! We acted for God in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the Report; but God's way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried in God's ways. The Lord was saying by this poverty, "I will now see whether you truly lean upon Me, and whether you truly look to Me." Of all the seasons that I had ever passed through since I had been living in this way, up to that time, I never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply, as during the four months from December 12th, 1841, to April 12th, 1842. But observe further: We might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the Report; for no one knew our determination, at this time, concerning the point. Nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of God were looking forward to receive further accounts. But the Lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion at which we had arrived.

Now to return to Saturday, December 18th. Evening. The Lord has been very kind to us this day. In the course of the morning 6s. came in. We had thus, with what provisions there were in hand, all that was needed for the dinner, but no means to provide for the next meal in the afternoon. A few minutes after the labourers had met together for prayer this morning, there was given to one of them a sovereign for himself. By means of this, all that was needed for tea could be procured. Another labourer gave 3s. 6d. and two books, which were sold for 4s. There came in still further in the course of the afternoon and evening by sale of articles 14s. 4d. Thus, when we again met in the evening for prayer, we found that the supplies had amounted to £2 8s. 2d., enough for all that was required to-day. But one thing more is to be noticed respecting this day. I was informed that three more of the Orphans have been recently brought to the knowledge of the truth. We have now been meeting daily for prayer during the last five weeks, and thus the Lord has not merely heard our prayers respecting the funds, but has also blessed these children.

December 23rd. This is now the sixth week that the labourers in the Day Schools and Orphan Houses have daily met for prayer. Several precious answers we have already received since we began to meet, as regards pecuniary supplies, fresh instances of conversion among the children, etc. One of our petitions has been that the Lord would be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at Callowhill Street School-room. But though we had often mentioned this matter before the Lord, He seemed not to regard our request. Yesterday afternoon, whilst walking in my little garden, and meditating and praying, I had an unusual assurance that the time was now come when the Lord would answer our request, which arose partly from my being able to believe that He would send the means, and partly from the fact that the answer could no longer be delayed, without prayer having failed in this matter, as we could not assemble the children again, after the Christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up. And now, dear reader, observe:—This morning I received from A. B. £20, and we have thus much more than is required for a stove.

December 31st. The Lord has sent me for my temporal supplies during this year £238 11s. 1¾d. I have been richly supplied with all I needed; yea, I have had much more than I needed.

January 1st. Last night we had our usual prayer meeting at the close of the year, which this time lasted from seven in the evening till halfpast twelve.

January 3rd. On the 1st £1 7s. 6d. came in for the Orphans; on the 2nd £10 13s. 7d.; and to-day there came in from Plymouth £6, from Exmouth £5, from a sister in Bristol £5, and from the East Indies £2. I have by this £30 1s. 1d. been enabled, as it had been my prayer, to give some money to the five sisters who labour in the Orphan Houses, for their own personal necessities.

January 4th. As we have often found it to be the case, so it is now. After a season of more than usual poverty, comes a time of more than usual abundance; but the expenses have been great also, for within the last twenty-five days I have paid out above £100.

January 25th. There was now again this morning nothing in hand for the Orphans. About ten o'clock there was sent to me, as the produce of an Orphan box, a small necklace, an old sixpence, and 5s. 8d. There came in also by sale of stockings 3s. 9d. As this 9s. 5d. was not enough, the boxes in the Orphan Houses were opened; they contained 17s. 2d., and thus we were again supplied.

Perhaps, dear reader, you have said in your heart before you have read thus far: "How would it be, suppose the funds for the Orphans were reduced to nothing, and those who are engaged in the work had nothing of their own to give, and a meal time were to come, and you had no food for the children?" Thus indeed it may be, for our hearts are desperately wicked If ever we should be so left to ourselves, as that either we depend no more upon the living God, or that we regard iniquity in our hearts, then such a state of things, we have reason to believe, would occur. But so long as we shall be enabled to trust in the living God, and so long as, though falling short in every way of what we might be, and ought to be, we are at least kept from living in sin, such a state of things cannot occur.

January 29th. Two sovereigns which came in on the 27th supplied our need yesterday. When I had again nothing in hand, to meet today's necessities, a sister came last evening, and brought me £1 6s., a sovereign from another sister, and 6s. from herself. She said: "I do not know whether the Orphans have a dinner for to-morrow or not, but I had no rest in delaying to bring this money." I had but just then come home from a meeting, and had on the way to my house been lifting up my heart to the Lord, that He would be pleased to remember our need.

My dear reader, do you indeed recognise the hand of God in all these instances? I have given instance upon instance; I have brought before you not this particular case, nor another particular case; but I have purposely shown you how we have fared day after day in our poverty, in order that you may adore the Lord for His goodness to us, and that you yourself may be led to depend upon Him for everything, should you not have done so before. I affectionately beseech you, not to take these instances as a matter of course. Say not in your heart, This is a charitable Institution; persons know that the maintenance of these many Orphans, and the support of these Day Schools, etc., costs much money; and therefore they will contribute. Nor suffer Satan to rob you of the blessing which the account of the Lord's faithfulness to us, and His readiness to listen to our supplications, is calculated, with God's blessing, to communicate to you, by allowing him to whisper into your ears that, because the Reports are read by many, donations will of course be coining in, and that not all at once, but gradually, and that this is the way we are supplied.

Dear reader, it is not thus. Suppose, we have been for some time on the whole bountifully supplied. Suppose, now all is gone. Suppose, the expenses are great, but very little comparatively is coming in.

What shall we do now? If we took goods on credit, or if we made known our necessities at such times to the liberal Christians who have means, and who are interested in the work in our hands, then, humanly speaking, there might be little difficulty; but we neither take goods on credit, nor do we speak to any one about our need, but we wait upon God. Now, suppose our expenses are, week after week, £30, £40, £50, or £60. How are the means to come? Persons might still give; yea, many persons might still give, but it might just happen so, that all the donations that are received at the time when our expenses are most heavy are very small donations; how shall we do then? Sometimes the outgoings have been so great, that if I had sold everything I possessed, I could not thereby have met the expenses of two weeks. What then is to be done? We wait upon God, and He always helps us, and has done so now (i.e. in 1881) for more than forty-five years with reference to the Orphans, and for more than forty-seven with reference to the other parts of the work.

February 8th. So far as I know, these three years and seven months, since first the funds were exhausted, we were never in greater poverty; and if the Lord were not to send means before nine o'clock to-morrow morning, His name would be dishonoured. But I am fully assured that He will not leave us.—Evening. The Lord has not yet been pleased to send us what is needed for to-morrow, but He has given us a fresh proof that He is mindful of us. Between four and five o'clock this afternoon were sent nine plum cakes, which a sister had ordered to be baked as a treat for the Orphans. These cakes were an encouragement to me to continue to look out for further supplies. There was also found in the boxes at the Orphan Houses, 2s. 1½d., and 1s. 4d. came in for stockings. These little donations are most precious, but they are not enough to meet the need of to-morrow; yea, before nine o'clock to-morrow morning we need more money to be able to take in the milk. Truly, we are poorer than ever; but, through grace, my eyes look not at the empty stores and the empty purse, but to the riches of the Lord only.

February 9th. This morning I went between seven and eight o'clock to the Orphan Houses, to see whether the Lord had sent in anything. When I arrived there, He had just two or three minutes before sent help.—A brother, in going to his house of business this morning, had gone already about half a mile, when the Lord was pleased to lay the Orphans upon his heart. He said, however, to himself, I cannot well return now, but will take something this evening; and thus he walked on. Nevertheless he could not go any further, but felt himself constrained to go back, and to take to the Boys' Orphan House, three sovereigns. (The donor himself stated this to me afterwards.) Thus the Lord in His faithfulness helped us. Help was never more truly needed, for our poverty was never greater; nor did the help of the Lord ever come more manifestly from Himself; for the brother was gone on a good distance, it was between seven and eight o'clock in the morning, and it was so short a time before money was needed. Consider this, beloved reader, and with us praise the Lord. Praise Him particularly, that He enabled us to trust in Him in this trying hour.

February 12th. Saturday. Never since the funds were for the first time exhausted, had there come in less during any week, than during this. We were only able to supply the absolute necessities; but this we were enabled to do. When the meal times came, the Lord always provided what was needful, and, considering the great distress there is now almost everywhere, our dear Orphans are very well provided for. Now this day began not only without there being anything in hand, but our stores were greatly reduced, and we had to procure provisions for two clays. One of the labourers gave 5s. in the morning, to provide the means to take in the milk. I collected together some pamphlets, which had been given for sale, to dispose of them, and they were sold about eleven o'clock for 4s. There came in also by sale of stockings 3s., and 12s. was paid on behalf of one of the Orphans. Thus we were provided with means to procure a dinner, and had a little towards purchasing bread; but by no means enough. All the labourers were together in prayer from half-past eleven till one, and we separated comfortably, with the purpose of meeting again in the evening. When I came home, there was given to me an old broken silver pencil case, which, though worth very little, I took as a fresh proof that our Father was mindful of our need. When we met again this evening, we found that 4s. had come in. As all this was not enough, a few old and needless articles were disposed of for 4s., also the broken pencil case for 6d. A labourer was also still further able to give 7s. of his own. To one of the labourers 2s. had been owed by a certain individual for more than a twelvemonth, which being paid just now, and given by him for the Orphans, came in most seasonably. Thus we had £1 18s. 6d., as much as was needful to procure provisions till after breakfast on Monday morning. However, the Lord helped still further. Between eight and nine this evening, after we had been together for prayer, and had now separated, some money was given to one of the labourers for himself, by which means he was able to give 9s., so that altogether £2 7s. 6d. had come in this day. This had been, of all the weeks, during the last three years and seven months, one of the most trying. Thanks to the Lord who has helped us this day also! Thanks to Him for enabling us already this morning, when we met for prayer, to praise Him for the deliverance, which we were sure He would work!

February 19th. Saturday. Our means were now again completely spent. Our provision stores were, perhaps, even more exhausted than on any previous Saturday. There was not the least human likelihood of obtaining means for sufficient provisions for this one day, and much less for two days. When I went before breakfast to the Orphan Houses, I found a letter from Nottingham, containing 1s., which had arrived last evening. This was not only a sweet proof that our Father remembered our need, but it was also like an earnest that He would supply us this day also with all we required. In the course of the morning came in by sale of stockings 4s. 11d. In the box at my house I found 1s. One of the labourers gave 4s. 10d. Thus we were provided with those things which were absolutely needed for this day. We met between eleven and twelve o'clock for prayer. When we met again in the evening, a second letter had arrived from Nottingham, with another shilling. This was a further sweet proof of our Father's loving remembrance of our need; but with all this we were still without any means to provide bread for to-morrow, the Lord's day. At about eight I separated from my fellow-labourers, as I expected brother R. C. Chapman to arrive a little after eight at my house. I therefore requested one of the brethren to go with me, in order to take back to the Orphan Houses what the Lord might send in by post or in any other way. It was now half-past eight in the evening, and there was no bread yet in any one of the three houses for to-morrow. A few moments after, brother Chapman arrived, and he had not been more than about five minutes in my house when he gave me half a sovereign, which he brought for the Orphans. I soon found an opportunity to leave the room for a little, gave the 10s. to the brother whom I had brought with me from the Orphan Houses, and who was waiting in another room; and thus, between nine and ten o'clock, sufficient bread could be bought. Observe! For the trial of our faith the Lord had allowed us to be kept waiting so long. When, however, brother Chapman had arrived, having money for the Orphans, he could not delay giving it at once, a matter most worthy of notice. This has been a week full of trials of faith, but also full of deliverances.

February 25th. Greater than now our need had never been. Our trials of faith have never been so sharp as during this week. Indeed, so much so, that most of the labourers felt to-day considerably tried. Yet not even this day has the Lord suffered us to be confounded. Through a remarkable circumstance one of the labourers obtained some money this morning, so that all the need of to-day could be amply met. In the afternoon a physician of this city kindly sent £1 for the Orphans, which was a sweet proof to us, when we met for prayer, that our kind Father had not forgotten us. Also, on my way to the prayer meeting at the Orphan Houses, I received 9s.

February 26th. My prayer this morning was, in particular, that the Lord would be pleased now to look in pity upon us, and take off His hand. Indeed, for several days my prayer has been that He would enable us to continue to trust in Him, and not lay more upon us than He would enable us to bear. This is now again Saturday. There having been given yesterday a rich supply to the matrons, I knew that not so much as usual would be required this Saturday; still I thought that £1 10s. would be needed. Between ten and eleven o'clock this morning a parcel came from Clapham, containing £2 2s., with various articles of clothing. Thus we were richly supplied for to-day, for only £1 10s. was needed. There was, moreover, half a sovereign put into the box at my house this day by a little boy, and 2s. 6d. came in by sale of articles. Thus we were brought to the close of a week in which more than at any previous time the Lord has been pleased to try our faith. To Him most manifestly we owe it that our faith has not failed completely.

March 5th. Saturday. It was not a small deliverance, that the Lord sent this morning, between ten and eleven o'clock, £2 10s. from Edinburgh, when there were no means in hand to meet this day's necessities, nay, not even the means to procure a dinner, as only 4s. had come in yesterday.—Evening. About eight o'clock a gentleman called on me. He said: "I come at a late hour, but I trust not the less acceptable on that account. I bring yon a little money for the Orphans." He then gave me two sovereigns. When I requested him to give me his name, he told me, that if the giving of his name would be of any benefit he would do so, but as it would not, I might simply put down in the Report "Sent," for he was sure that the Lord had sent him.—I believe it, for the help came most seasonably and in answer to prayer. There was likewise taken out of the box in my house half a sovereign.

March 9th. At a time of the greatest need, both with regard to the Day Schools and the Orphans, so much so that we could not have gone on any longer without help, I received this day £10 from a brother who lives near Dublin. The money was divided between the Day Schools and the Orphan Houses. The following little circumstance is to be noticed respecting this donation:—As our need was so great, and my soul was, through grace, truly waiting upon the Lord, I looked out for supplies in the course of the morning. The post, however, was in, and no supplies had come. This did not in the least discourage me. I said to myself, the Lord can send means without the post, or even now, though the post is in, by this very delivery of letters He may have sent means, though the money is not yet in my hands. It was not long after I had thus spoken to myself, when, according to my hope in God, we were helped; for the brother who sent us the £10, had this time directed his letter to the Boys' Orphan House, whence it was sent to me.