Early Days in Bristol, 1832–1835
CHAPTER IV
EARLY DAYS IN BRISTOL, 1832–1835
MAY 25th, 1832. This evening we arrived in Bristol.—May 27th. This morning we received a sovereign, sent to us by a sister residing in Devonshire, which we take as an earnest that the Lord will provide for us here also.—May 28th. When we were going to speak to the brethren, who manage the temporal affairs of Gideon Chapel, about giving up the pew-rents, having all the seats free, and receiving the free-will offerings through a box, a matter which was not quite settled on their part, as brother Craik and I had thought, we found that the Lord had so graciously ordered this matter for us, that there was not the least objection on the part of these brethren.
June 5th. To-day we had a testimony of a sinner having been converted through brother Craik's instrumentality, on the first Lord's day in April, simply through hearing the text read.
June 25th. To-day it was finally settled to take Bethesda Chapel for a twelvemonth, on condition that a brother at once paid the rent, with the understanding that, if the Lord shall bless our labours in that place, so that believers are gathered together in fellowship, he expects them to help him; but if not, that he will pay all. This was the only way in which we could take the chapel, for we could not think it to be of God to have had this chapel, though there should have been every prospect of usefulness, if it had made us in any way debtors. We had tried to obtain a cheaper meeting-place, but could find none large enough to accommodate the hearers.
Beginning in Bethesda Chapel—Cholera in Bristol
July 6th. To-day we commenced preaching at Bethesda Chapel. It was a good day.—July 13th. To-day we heard of the first cases of cholera in Bristol.—July 16th. This evening from six to nine o'clock, we had appointed for conversing at the vestry, one by one, with individuals who wished to speak to us about their souls. There were so many, that we were engaged from six till twenty minutes past ten.
August 5th. When all our money was gone to-day, the Lord again graciously supplied our wants.—August 6th. This afternoon, from two till after six, brother Craik and I spent in the vestry, to see the enquirers. We have had again, in seeing several instances of blessing upon our labours, abundant reason brought before us to praise the Lord for having sent us to Bristol.
August 13th. This evening one brother and four sisters united with brother Craik and me in church fellowship at Bethesda, without any rules, desiring only to act as the Lord shall be pleased to give us light through His Word.
August 14th. This day we set apart for prayer concerning the cholera, and had three meetings.
August 17th. This morning, from six to eight, we had a prayer meeting at Gideon, on account of the cholera. Between two and three hundred people were present. (We continued these meetings every morning, as long as the cholera raged in Bristol, and afterwards changed them into prayer meetings for the church at large, so that we had them for about four months.)
August 24th. This morning a sister in the Lord, within fifty yards of our lodgings, was taken ill with cholera, and died this afternoon. Her husband, also a believer, has been attacked, and may be near death. The ravages of this disease are becoming daily more and more fearful. We have reason to believe that great numbers die daily in this city. Who may be the next, God alone knows. I have never realized so much the nearness of death. Except the Lord keep us this night, we shall be no more in the land of the living to-morrow. Just now, ten in the evening, the funeral bell is ringing, and has been ringing the greater part of this evening. It rings almost all the day. Into Thine hands, O Lord, I commend myself. Here is Thy poor worthless child! If this night I should be taken by cholera, my only hope and trust is in the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for the remission of all my many sins. I have been thoroughly washed in it, and the righteousness of God covers me.—As yet there have not been any of the saints, among whom brother Craik and I labour, taken ill. (Only one of them fell asleep afterwards in consequence of this disease. I would observe, that though brother Craik and I visited many cholera cases, by day and by night, yet the Lord most graciously preserved us and our families from it.)
September 17th. This morning the Lord, in addition to all His other mercies, has given us a little girl, [Lydia].
September 21st. On account of the birth of our little one, and brother Craik's intended marriage, it is needful that we change our lodgings, as they will now be too small for us, because we shall want one room more.
September 23rd. To-day an individual desired publicly to return thanks to the Lord, for having been supported under the loss of a child, mother, brother, and wife, in the cholera, within one month.
October 1st. A meeting for enquirers this afternoon from two to five. Many more are convinced of sin through brother Craik's preaching than my own. This circumstance led me to enquire into the reasons, which are probably these:—(1) That brother Craik is more spiritually minded than I am. (2) That he prays more earnestly for the conversion of sinners than I do. (3) That he more frequently addresses sinners, as such, in his public ministrations than I do.—This led me to more frequent and earnest prayer for the conversion of sinners, and to address them more frequently as such. The latter had never been intentionally left undone, but it had not been so frequently brought to my mind as to that of brother Craik. Since then, the cases in which it has pleased the Lord to use me as an instrument of conversion have been quite as many as those in which brother Craik has been used. May the Lord be pleased to use this as a means to lead any of His servants, who may not have acted according to these two last points, to seek to do so, and may He graciously enable me to do so more abundantly.
October 3rd. This day we set apart as a day of thanksgiving, the cholera having decreased.—October 5th. Prayer meeting this morning as usual. The cholera is very much decreasing. Hundreds of people were stirred up at that time, but many of them, when the judgment of God had passed away, cared no longer about their souls. Yet a goodly number, who were first led through the instrumentality of the cholera to seek the Lord, are now breaking bread with us, and are walking in the fear of the Lord. How merciful in its results has this heavy judgment been to many!
Invitation to labour in Bagdad
January 4th. This morning we received letters from Bagdad. The missionary brethren there invite brother Craik and me to go and join them in their labours. The invitation was accompanied by drafts to the amount of £200, for our travelling expenses. What wilt Thou have me to do, gracious Lord? I do not know what may be the Lord's mind. There are points which ought to be much considered and prayed over: There are German villages not very far from Bagdad, where I might labour; upon our going, that of certain other individuals may depend; the brethren at Bagdad are of one mind respecting our going out; good may be done on the way; the going out without any visible support from a society, simply trusting in the Lord for the supply of our temporal wants, would be a testimony for Him; I have had for years a feeling as if one day I should go out as a Missionary to the heathen or Mahommedans; and lastly, the hands of the brethren at Bagdad may be strengthened; these are the points which must appear of no sufficient weight in comparison with the importance of our work here, before I can determine not to go.
January 5th. I considered with brother Craik about going to Bagdad. We see nothing clearly. If the Lord will have me to go, here I am.—January 9th. I again asked the Lord concerning Bagdad, but see nothing clearly respecting it. I told the Lord I should stay at my post unless He Himself should most evidently take me away, and I did not feel afterwards my remaining here to be against His will.—January 14th. I feel more and more satisfied that it is not of the Lord that I should go to Bagdad.—January 19th. For some days past I have been reading brother Groves' Journal of his residence at Bagdad, both for the sake of information respecting his position there, and also, if it please the Lord, that He may use this as a means to show me clearly whether I should go or stay. Blessed be His name that I have no desire of my own in this matter!
February 9th. I read a part of Franke's life. The Lord graciously help me to follow him, as far as he followed Christ. The greater part of the Lord's people whom we know in Bristol are poor, and if the Lord were to give us grace to live more as this dear man of God did, we might draw much more than we have as yet done out of our Heavenly Father's bank, for our poor brethren and sisters.
May 28th. This morning, whilst sitting in my room, the distress of several brethren and sisters was brought to my mind, and I said to myself, "Oh that it might please the Lord to give me means to help them! "About an hour afterwards I received £60 from a brother, whom I had never seen, and who then lived, as he does still, at a distance of several thousand miles. This shows how the Lord can provide in any way for His people, and that He is not confined to places. Oh that my heart might overflow with gratitude to the Lord!
May 29th. Review of the last twelve months, since we have been in Bristol, as regards the fruits of our labours. (1) It has pleased the Lord to gather a church, through our instrumentality, at Bethesda, which increased to 60 in number, and there have been added to Gideon church, 49; therefore the total number of those added to us within the year has been 109. (2) There have been converted, through our instrumentality, so far as we have heard and can judge respecting the individuals, 65. (3) Many backsliders have been reclaimed, and many of the children of God have been encouraged and strengthened in the way of truth. What clear proofs that we were not suffered to be mistaken as regards our coming to Bristol!
June 12th. I felt, this morning, that we might do something for the souls of those poor boys and girls, and grown-up or aged people, to whom we have daily given bread for some time past, in establishing a school for them, reading the Scriptures to them, and speaking to them about the Lord.
A remarkable Conversion
December 17th. This evening brother Craik and I took tea with a family, of whom five had been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality. (When we took tea with them again, about a twelvemonth afterwards, the number had increased to seven.) As an encouragement to brethren who may desire to preach the gospel in a language not their own, I would mention, that the first member of this family who was converted, came merely out of curiosity to hear my foreign accent, some words having been mentioned to her which I did not pronounce properly. Scarcely had she entered the chapel, when she was led to see herself a sinner. Her intention had been to stay only a few minutes. But she felt as if bound to the seat whilst I was speaking, and remained to the close of the meeting. She then went hastily home instead of pursuing her pleasures, washed the paint off her face, stayed at home that Lord's day, till the meeting began again, and from that day was truly converted. Having found the Lord, she entreated her brothers and sisters to go and hear the gospel preached, who, in doing so, were likewise converted. May my dear missionary brethren always be mindful that the Lord can bless a few broken sentences.
December 31st. In looking over my journal, I find:—That at least 260 persons (according to the number of names we have marked down, but there have been many more), have come to converse with us about the concerns of their souls. Out of these, 153 have been added to us in fellowship these last eighteen months, 60 of whom have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality. Besides these 60, five have fallen asleep before they were received into communion.
It is now just four years since I first began to trust in the Lord alone for the supply of my temporal wants. My little all I then had, at most worth £100 a year, I gave up to the Lord, having then nothing left but about £5. The Lord greatly honoured this little sacrifice, and gave me, in return, not only as much as I had given up, but considerably more.
January 1st. It seemed well to brother Craik and me, to have a special public meeting for thanksgiving to the Lord, for His many mercies towards us since we have been in Bristol, and for the great success which it has pleased Him to grant to our labours; and also for confession of our sinfulness and unworthiness, and to entreat Him to continue His goodness towards us. Accordingly we met last evening, and continued together from seven o'clock till half-past twelve. About four hundred individuals or more met with us on the occasion.
January 9th. Brother Craik and I have preached during these eighteen months, once a month, at Brislington, a village near Bristol; but have not seen any fruit of our labours there. This led me, to-day, very earnestly to pray to the Lord for the conversion of sinners in that place. I was also, in the chapel, especially led to pray again about this, and asked the Lord in particular that He would be pleased to convert, at least, one soul this evening, that we might have a little encouragement. I preached with much help, and I hope there has been good done this evening. (The Lord did according to my request. There was, that evening, a young man brought to the knowledge of the truth.)
January 14th. I was greatly tried by the difficulty of fixing upon a text, from which to preach, on the morning of Oct. 20th, and at last preached without enjoyment. To-day I heard of a NINTH instance in which this very sermon has been blessed. May my brethren in the ministry of the Word be encouraged by this to go quietly, yet prayerfully, forward in the work of the Lord!
February 19th. Brother Craik preached this evening, and was enabled to give out precious truths. Oh that I did feed more upon them! For several weeks I have had very little real communion with the Lord. I long for it. I am cold. I have little love to the Lord. But I am not, yea, I cannot be satisfied with such a state of heart. Oh that once more I might be brought to fervency of spirit, and that thus it might continue with me for ever! I long to go home that I may be with the Lord, and that I may love Him with all my heart.
February 20th. By the mercy of God I was to-day melted into tears on account of my state of heart. Oh that it might please the Lord to bring me into a more spiritual state!—February 21st. Through the help of the Lord I am rather in a better state of heart than for some time past.—I was led this morning to form a plan for establishing, upon scriptural principles, an Institution for the spread of the gospel at home and abroad. I trust this matter is of God.—This evening we had again, from six to half-past ten, a meeting with enquirers. The work of the Lord is going on among us as much as ever. Oh that our hearts might overflow with gratitude! Even after we were worn out to the utmost, we could not see all, but had to send away several individuals.
February 25th. The enquirers were so many yesterday, that though we conversed more than four hours with them, we had to appoint another meeting for to-day, and saw again several from two till five.
The Scriptural Knowledge Institution founded
I was led again this day to pray about the forming of a new Missionary Institution, and felt still more confirmed that we should do so.
The Institution will be called "The Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad."
I. The Principles of the Institution
(1) We consider every believer bound, in one way or other, to help the cause of Christ, and we have scriptural warrant for expecting the Lord's blessing upon our work of faith and labour of love; and although, according to Matt. 13:24–43, 2 Tim. 3:1–13, and many other passages, the world will not be converted before the coming of our Lord Jesus, still, while He tarries, all scriptural means ought to be employed for the ingathering of the elect of God.
(2) The Lord helping us, we do not mean to seek the patronage of the world; i.e., we never intend to ask unconverted persons of rank or wealth to countenance this Institution, because this, we consider, would be dishonourable to the Lord. "In the name of our God we will set up our banners" (Ps. 20:5); He alone shall be our Patron, and if He helps us we shall prosper, and if He is not on our side, we shall not succeed.
(3) We do not mean to ask unbelievers for money (2 Cor. 6:14–18); though we do not feel ourselves warranted to refuse their contributions, if they, of their own accord, should offer them (Acts 28:2–10).
(4) We reject altogether the help of unbelievers in managing or carrying on the affairs of the Institution (2 Cor. 6:14–18).
(5) We intend never to enlarge the field of labour by contracting debts (Rom. 13:8), and afterwards appealing to the Church of God for help, because this we consider to be opposed both to the letter and the spirit of the New Testament; but in secret prayer, God helping us, we shall carry the wants of the Institution to the Lord, and act according to the means that God shall give.
(6) We do not mean to reckon the success of the Institution by the amount of money given, or the number of Bibles distributed, etc., but by the Lord's blessing upon the work (Zech. 4:6); and we expect this, in the proportion in which He shall help us to wait upon Him in prayer.
(7) While we would avoid aiming after needless singularity, we desire to go on simply according to Scripture, without compromising the truth; at the same time thankfully receiving any instruction which experienced believers, after prayer, upon scriptural ground, may have to give us concerning the Institution.
II. The Objects of the Institution
1. To assist Day Schools, Sunday Schools, and Adult Schools, in which instruction is given upon scriptural principles, and, as far as the Lord may give the means, and supply us with suitable teachers, and in other respects make our path plain, to establish Schools of this kind.
(a) By Day Schools upon scriptural principles, we understand Day Schools in which the teachers are godly persons—in which the way of salvation is scripturally pointed out—and in which no instruction is given opposed to the principles of the gospel.
(b) Sunday Schools, in which all the teachers are believers, and in which the Holy Scriptures alone are the foundation of instruction—are such only as the Institution will assist with the supply of Bibles, Testaments, etc.; for we consider it unscriptural that any persona, who do not profess to know the Lord themselves, should be allowed to give religious instruction.
(c) The Institution does not assist any Adult Schools with the supply of Bibles, Testaments, Spelling Books, etc., except where the teachers are believers.
2. To circulate the Holy Scriptures.
We will sell Bibles and Testaments to poor persons at a reduced price. But while we, in general, think it better that the Scriptures should be sold, and not given altogether gratis, still, in cases of extreme poverty, we think it right to give, without payment, a cheap edition.
3. To aid missionary efforts.
We desire to assist those Missionaries whose proceedings appear to be most according to the Scriptures.
It is proposed to give such a portion of the amount of the donations to each of the fore-mentioned objects, as the Lord may direct; but if none of the objects should claim a more particular assistance, to lay out an equal portion upon each; yet so, that if any donor desires to give for one of the objects exclusively, the money shall be appropriated accordingly.
Journal resumed
March 7th. To-day we have only one shilling left. Many times also in Bristol our purse has been either empty or nearly so, though we have not been brought quite so low as regards provisions, as was sometimes the case at Teignmouth. This evening, when we came home from our work, we found a brother, our tailor, waiting for us, who brought a new suit of clothes both for brother Craik and for me, which a brother, whose name was not to be mentioned, had ordered for us.
March 10th. Some time since, a brother who had been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through our instrumentality, having been previously guilty of habitual drunkenness and other open sins, requested with tears our prayers on behalf of his wife, who, like himself formerly, was still given to drinking, and who grew worse and worse. About ten days after he had spoken to us, it pleased God to begin a work of grace in her heart, in answer to the many prayers of her husband, and this evening she was added to us in fellowship. There have come many instances before us, since we have been in Bristol, in which unbelieving partners have been given to believing ones, in answer to their prayers; yea, even such as had threatened to murder their wives, or leave them, if they still continued to go to our chapels.
March 19th, evening. When I got home after preaching at Bethesda, I heard the joyful news that my dear wife had been delivered at twenty minutes past eight of a little boy.
April 14th. Brother and sister Craik and ourselves have been living together hitherto; but now, as the Lord has given to them one child, and to us two, and there are but six rooms in our house, so that of late dear brother Craik and I have had repeatedly to go to another house to be uninterrupted, we came at last to the conclusion that it would be better for our souls and the Lord's work that we should separate.—April 15th. To-day I received from several sisters £25 towards furnishing a house.
April 23rd. Yesterday and to-day I had asked the Lord to send us £20, that we might be able to procure a larger stock of Bibles and Testaments than our small funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution would allow us to purchase; and this evening a sister, unasked, promised to give us that sum, adding that she felt a particular pleasure in circulating the Holy Scriptures, as the simple reading of them had been the means of bringing her to the knowledge of the Lord.
May 4th. To-day £15 more was given to me towards furnishing a house. Thus the Lord has now graciously supplied our need in this particular also.—May 15th. To-day we moved into our house, having lived nearly two years with brother and sister Craik.
June 4th. To-day a sister called on me, and I felt irritated at her staying, after having given her to understand that I had but a few minutes' time. I sinned thus against the Lord. Help Thou me, blessed Jesus, in future!
June 25th. These last three days I have had very little real communion with God, and have therefore been very weak spiritually, and have several times felt irritability of temper. May God in mercy help me to have more secret prayer!
June 26th. I was enabled, by the grace of God, to rise early, and I had nearly two hours in prayer before breakfast. I feel now this morning more comfortable. May God in mercy help me to walk before Him this day, and to do His work; and may He keep me from all evil.
July 11th. I have prayed much about a master for a boys' school, to be established in connection with our little Institution. Eight have applied for the situation, but none seemed to be suitable. Now at last the Lord has given us a brother, who will commence the work. The Lord allowed us to call upon Him many times before He answered, but at last He granted our request.
August 18th. To-day brother Craik and I engaged a sister to be governess of another girls' school which we intend to establish, in dependence upon the Lord for supplies.
August 27th. I had prayed repeatedly, and had read ten chapters of the Word to get a text, but obtained none, and had to go this evening to the chapel without knowing on what portion of His Holy Word the Lord would have me to speak. At the commencement of the meeting I was directed to Lament. 3:22–26, on which I spoke with much assistance and enjoyment.
October 28th. Heard of a most affecting account of a poor little orphan boy, who for some time attended one of our schools, and who seems there, as far as we can judge, to have been brought to a real concern about his soul, through what I said concerning the torments of hell, and who some time ago was taken to the poor-house some miles out of Bristol. He has expressed great sorrow that he can no longer attend our school and ministry. May this, if it be the Lord's will, lead me to do something also for the supply of the temporal wants of poor children, the pressure of which has occasioned this poor boy to be taken away from our school!
November 1st. To-day, our means being completely gone, we had them supplied in the following manner:—some time since some silver spoons were given to us, which we never used, from the consideration that for servants of Christ it was better, for the sake of example, to use cheaper ones, and for that reason we had sold our plate at Teignmouth. Yet up to this day those spoons remained unsold. But now, as we wanted money, we disposed of them, considering that the kind giver would not be displeased at our doing so to supply our need.
November 5th. I spent almost the whole of the day in prayer and reading the Word. I prayed also again for the supply of our own temporal wants, but the Lord has not as yet appeared.
November 8th, Saturday. The Lord has graciously again supplied our temporal wants during this week, though at the commencement of it we had but little left. I have prayed much this week for money, more than any other week, as far as I remember, since we have been in Bristol. The Lord has not answered our prayers by causing means to be sent in the way of a gift, but has supplied us through our selling what we did not need, or by our being paid what was owed to us.
December 10th. To-day we found that a departed brother had left to both brother Craik and me £12.—December 31st. Since brother Craik and I have been labouring in Bristol, 227 brethren and sisters have been added to us in fellowship. Of these, 125 belong to Bethesda church, and 132 to Gideon church.
The income the Lord has given me this year is £288 0s. 8¼d.
January 1st. We had last evening a special prayer meeting of the two churches, and any other persons that chose to attend, for the sake of praising the Lord for all His many mercies which we have received during the past year, and to ask Him to continue to us His favour during this year also. It was open to any of the brethren to pray, as they felt disposed, and eighteen did so. We continued in prayer and praise, mixed with singing, reading the Word, and exhortation, from seven in the evening till one in the morning.—January 13th. From ten till one in the first part of the day, and from six to half-past eight this evening, I visited from house to house the people living in Orange Street, and saw in this way the families living in nine houses, to ascertain whether any individuals wanted Bibles, whether they could read, whether they wished their children put to our Day School or Sunday School, with the view of helping them accordingly. This afforded opportunities to converse with them about their souls. In this way I sold eight Bibles and two Testaments at reduced prices, and gave away one Testament; engaged one woman as an adult scholar; one boy as a day scholar; and spoke besides this to about thirty people about their souls. I should greatly delight in being frequently engaged in such work, for it is a most important one; but our hands are so full with other work, that we can do but little in this way.
Visit of Mr. A. N. Groves
January 17th. To-day brother Groves arrived from the East Indies. One reason of his coming to England is to go to Germany to obtain missionary brethren for the East Indies; and he asked me to accompany him, that thus, through me, he may be enabled to judge about the state of the brethren, and to communicate to them what he thinks needful for them to know. This is a most important work. May the Lord direct me in this matter, and make me to act according to His will!
January 28th. I have, for these several days, again prayed much to ascertain whether the Lord will have me to go as a Missionary to the East Indies, and I am most willing to go, if He will condescend to use me in this way.—January 29th. I have been greatly stirred up to pray about going to Calcutta as a Missionary. May the Lord guide me in this matter!
February 4th. I have been praying repeatedly and earnestly of late respecting my journey to the Continent. I desire to go, or not to go, just as the Lord will have it to be. May He graciously direct me! I feel the same about going to India. As a means to ascertain the Lord's will, I have been reading about the Hindoos, that I may know more clearly the state in which they are. May the Lord in mercy stir me up to care more about their state, whether it be His will that I should labour personally among them, or not!
February 16th. I mentioned this evening, before the church at Bethesda, as also on the 13th before the church at Gideon, that I see it the Lord's will to go to the Continent, for the sake of assisting brother Groves by my knowledge of the German language, in conferring with those who may desire to go out as Missionaries. There is not one believer amongst us who sees any objection to it, and several have said that it seems to be of the Lord, and that thus we could help, as churches, in the going forth of Missionaries. This is very comforting to me, as the Lord confirms me still more, through this unanimity, in its being His will that I should go.
February 25th. In the name of the Lord, and in dependence upon Him alone for support, we Lave established a fifth Day School for poor children, which to-day has been opened. We have now two boys' schools, and three girls' schools.
Visit to Germany
February 26th. This afternoon I left Bristol for the Continent.
March 7th, Dover. Last evening I left London, and arrived here this morning. The Lord enabled me to confess Him before my fellowpassengers. I have had a good deal of prayer and reading the Word in quietness, though staying in a hotel.—March 8th. I preached this morning and evening comfortably in one of the chapels at Dover.—March 9th. All this day we have been obliged to remain at Dover, the sea being so rough that no packet sails. I spent the day in writing letters, in reading the Word, and in prayer. We depend entirely upon the Lord as regards our movements. This evening we asked the Lord twice, unitedly, that He would be pleased to calm the wind and the waves, and I now feel quite comfortable in leaving the matter with Him!
March 10th. The Lord heard our prayer. We awoke early in the morning, and found the wind comparatively slight. We left the hotel before break of day, to go to the packet. All being in great hurry, on our way towards the sea, I was separated from brothers G. and Y. I now lifted up my heart to the Lord, as He generally helps me to do on such occasions, to direct my steps towards the boat which went out to meet the packet, and I found it almost immediately. We had, in answer to prayer, a good passage. At Calais we obtained our passports, passed the customs, and secured places in the diligence without difficulty, and left a little after ten in the morning for Paris. What a blessed thing it is, in all such matters, to have a Father to go to for help! What a different thing also, to travel in the service of the Lord Jesus, from what it is to travel in the service of the flesh.
March 14th. Brother Groves and I took our places in the Malle Poste for Strasburg, to leave to-morrow evening. Brother Y. intends to remain here a few days, on account of his health.
March 15th. This morning I preached in a little chapel, in Palais Royal. We left Paris this evening at six.—March 17th. From six o'clock in the evening of the 15th, till this afternoon at half-past one, when we arrived at Strasburg, we were continually shut up in the Malle Poste, with the exception of yesterday morning about seven, and last night about eleven, when we were allowed half an hour for our meals. I had refreshing communion with my beloved brother. This quickest of all conveyances in France carries only two passengers, and we were thus able freely to converse and to pray together, which was refreshing indeed. Though we had travelled forty-four hours, yet as we had soon finished our business at Strasburg, we left this evening for Basle, trusting in the Lord for strength for the third night's travelling. A little after we had started, we stuck fast in a new road. I lifted up my heart to the Lord, and we were soon delivered, otherwise the circumstance, in a cold night, and during a fall of snow, would have been trying, as we had to get out of the mail. I now found myself again, after six years, amidst fellowpassengers who spoke my native language; but alas! they spoke not for Christ.
A Christian Wife's gracious deportment, and its result
March 18th. This afternoon we arrived at Basle, where we were very kindly received by the brethren.—During my stay there I attended one day a meeting at which a venerable pious clergyman expounded the Greek New Testament to several brethren, who purposed to give themselves to missionary service. The passage to which this dear aged brother had then come, in the original of the New Testament, was 1 Peter 3:1, 2, which, in our English translation, reads thus: "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the Word, they also may without the Word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear." After this aged brother had expounded the passage, he related a circumstance which had occurred in his own days, and under his own eyes at Basle, which has appeared to me so encouraging for those children of God who have unbelieving relatives, and especially for sisters in the Lord who have unbelieving husbands; and which at the same time is such a beautiful illustration of 1 Peter 3:1, that I judge it desirable to insert the narrative of this fact here. I will do so as exactly as I remember it.—There lived at Basle an opulent citizen, whose wife was a believer, but he himself feared not the Lord. His practice was to spend his evenings in a wine-house, where he would often tarry till eleven, twelve, or even one o'clock. On such occasions his wife always used to send her servants to bed, and sat up herself to await the return of her husband. When at last he came, she used to receive him most kindly, never reproach him in the least either at the time or afterwards, nor complain at all on account of his late hours, by which she was kept from seasonable rest. Moreover, if it should be needful to assist him in undressing himself, when he had drunk to excess, she would do this also in a very kind and meek way. Thus it went on for a long time. One evening, this gentleman was again, as usual, in a wine-house, and having tarried there with his merry companions till midnight, he said to them: "I bet that if we go to my house, we shall find my wife sitting up and waiting for me, and she herself will come to the door and receive us very kindly; and if I ask her to prepare us a supper, she will do it at once without the least murmur, or unkind expression, or look." His companions in sin did not believe his statement. At last, however, after some more conversation about this strange statement (as it appeared to them), it was agreed that they would all go to see this kind wife. Accordingly they went, and, after they had knocked, found the door immediately opened by the lady herself, and they were all courteously and kindly received by her. The party having entered, the master of the house asked his wife to prepare supper for them, which she, in the meekest way, at once agreed to do; and, after awhile, supper was served by herself without the least sign of dissatisfaction, or murmur, or complaint. Having now prepared all for the company, she retired from the party to her room. When she had left the party, one of the gentlemen said: "What a wicked and cruel man you are, thus to torment so kind a wife." He then took his hat and stick, and, without touching a morsel of the supper, went away. Another made a similar remark, and left, without touching the supper. Thus one after another left, till they were all gone without tasting the supper. The master of the house was now left alone, and the Spirit of God brought before him all his dreadful wickedness, and especially his great sins towards his wife; and the party had not left the house half an hour, before he went to his wife's room, requesting her to pray for him, told her that he felt himself a great sinner, and asked her forgiveness for all his behaviour towards her. From that time he became a disciple of the Lord Jesus.
Observe here, dear reader, the following points in particular, which I affectionately commend to your consideration: (1) The wife acted in accordance with 1 Peter 3:1. She kept her place as being in subjection, and the Lord owned it. (2) She reproached not her husband, but meekly and kindly served him when he used to come home. (3) She did not allow the servants to sit up for their master, but sat up herself, thus honouring him as her head and superior, and concealed also, as far as she was able, her husband's shame from the servants. (4) In all probability a part of those hours, during which she had to sit up, was spent in prayer for her husband, or in reading the Word of God, to gather fresh strength for all the trials connected with her position. (5) Be not discouraged if you have to suffer from unconverted relatives. Perhaps very shortly the Lord may give you the desire of your heart, and answer your prayer for them; but in the meantime seek to commend the truth, not by reproaching them on account of their behaviour towards you, but by manifesting towards them the meekness, gentleness, and kindness of the Lord Jesus Christ.
March 25th. I arrived yesterday morning at six at Schaffhausen. I found a brother waiting for me at the Post Office, a gentleman of title, who, having been informed by brethren at Basle of my arrival, kindly took me to his house for the two hours I had to stay in that town, to refresh my body with breakfast, and my soul with communion with the brethren whom he had invited to meet me. This morning I saw brother Gundert, the student of divinity, on whose account I am here, and spent about three hours in conversation with him.
March 26th. This morning I drove with brother Gundert to Stuttgart, both for the sake of seeing more of him, and also that we might unitedly talk over the matter with his father, who lives there. I am now staying at the house of brother Gundert senior, where I am kindly lodged. I think brother Gundert junior will go to the East Indies. His father is not only willing to give him up for the Lord's sake, but seems to consider it an honour to have a son to give to the Lord in this way.
Stays at Halle
March 30th, Halle. From the evening of the 27th till this afternoon when I arrived here, I have travelled day and night, and have been strengthened by the Lord for it. My thoughts were peculiarly affecting, as I retraced the mercies which I had experienced at the hands of God.—The Lord enabled me repeatedly to confess His name before my changing fellow-travellers. A student spoke to me about the peculiarly good and cheap wine of Weinheim, near Heidelberg. I told him that when, years ago, as a student like himself, I came through that place, I cared about such things, but that now I knew what was much better than wine.—Yesterday a Frenchman, having heard my testimony for Jesus once or twice, when the last merry companion had left the coach, quitted my society, it being too dull for him, and joined himself to an officer in the army, sitting in the forepart of the coach. (The coach was divided into the forepart and inside.) This gave me a blessed and most refreshing opportunity to pray for about an hour aloud in the coach, which strengthened and refreshed my soul. It was particularly kind of the Lord to give me an opportunity of praying aloud, as, on account of having then already travelled forty-eight hours uninterruptedly, my body was too tired to allow me to continue for any length of time in mental prayer.—Yesterday afternoon, at Eisenach (situated just under the hill on which stands the decayed castle, called the Wartburg, where Luther translated the Holy Scriptures), I saw fearful scenes of profanity. How has the candlestick been removed!—This afternoon I reached Halle, where it pleased the Lord to bring me to the knowledge of Himself, having been graciously preserved hitherto, though a spring was found broken when I got out of the mail. I greatly needed rest, but my heart was too full. I could not sleep. I went first to the house of a brother, where I was first impressed, and afterwards I called on my esteemed tutor, Professor Dr. Tholuck, Counsellor of the Consistory, who received me, after seven years' separation, with his former kindness and brotherly love. (He made me lodge with him, and gave thereby a testimony that differences of views, concerning certain parts of God's truth, ought not to separate the children of God; for I had previously written him my mind.)
March 31st. To-day I rode with Dr. Tholuck and two young brethren to a believing clergyman, living in the neighbourhood of Halle, where we spent the day. Dr. Tholuck told me many encouraging things, particularly this, that several of my former fellow-students, who, at the time when I was at Halle, knew not the Lord, had been brought to know Him since, and are now labouring in His vineyard. And further, that certain brethren, formerly very weak in the faith, had been established, and are now going on well.
April 1st. To-day I saw a clergyman, in whom I recognized an individual who studied at Halle, whilst I was there, living then in open sin, and who is now, by divine mercy, pointing sinners to the Lamb of God. In the evening I went to the large Orphan House, built in dependence on the Lord, by A. H. Franke, to see one of the classical teachers, who is the son of my father's neighbour, and whom I had not seen for about fifteen years. I found him, to the joy of my heart, to be a brother in the Lord. This evening I spent in the same room where it pleased the Lord to begin a work of grace in my heart, with several of the same brethren and sisters with whom I used to meet seven years ago, and told them of the Lord's faithfulness, gentleness, kindness, and forbearance towards me, since I had seen them last Truly how good has the Lord been to me since!
April 2nd. This morning I again spent in calling on the brethren and sisters, being enabled, everywhere, before learned and unlearned, to testify about the blessedness of adhering to the Scriptures as our only guide in spiritual things. I left Halle this afternoon, having received much love from the brethren, and drove fifteen miles further, to a beloved brother and old friend, brother Stahlschmidt at Sandersleben, who has shown me much kindness even since I have been in England. I was received with much love by this brother and his dear wife, and his manservant, also a beloved brother.
April 3rd. Sandersleben. To-day I saw several brethren and sisters, and among others a brother who is in about the same state in which he was eight years ago. He has very little enjoyment, and makes no progress in the things of God. The reason is, that, against his conscience, he remains in a calling, which is opposed to the profession of a believer. We are exhorted in Scripture to abide in our calling; but only if we can abide in it "with God" (1 Cor. 7:24).—This evening a believing clergyman, and the brethren and sisters of this small town and some neighbouring villages, were collected together in brother Stahlschmidt's house, and I spoke to them for two hours about the things of God, particularly about the way in which God has led me, since I saw them, and sought to strengthen their hands in God, and exhorted them to give themselves fully to the Lord. It was a time of refreshing. Indeed, the Lord greatly refreshed my own soul, in every place where I spoke well of His name.
Visits his Father
April 4th. I left Sandersleben tins morning. My host acted according to 3 John 5, 6, for he sent me on ten miles in his carriage. When I arrived at Aschersleben, to which place brother Stahlschmidt had conveyed me, I had but one station more to my father's house. On the way I asked the driver about a certain individual, with whom I studied at Halle, once a companion with me in open sin. I found that he is still in the same state. What a difference has grace made between him and me! Nothing, nothing but grace has made this difference! I, guilty sinner, might now be still on the same road, and he, in my stead, might have been plucked as a brand out of the fire. But it is not so. May the Lord help me to love Him much, very much, for His distinguishing grace!—Such feelings I had in particular this afternoon, when I saw the town before me in which my father lives, as there are but two in the whole place, as far as I can find out, who love the Lord. How different is everything with me now from what it was when, as a wicked youth, I used to go to this town, at the time of my vacation. How truly happy am I now! How is my heart now raised above all those things in which I sought, and also fancied I found happiness! Truly all these things are like bubbles to me now! My heart is not here; yea, my heart is not even in England. My heart is, at least in a measure, in heaven, though I am still nothing but a poor weak worm. I felt the solemnity and importance of having once more the privilege of seeing my aged father. I also felt the importance of being at the place where I had spent much of my time in my youth, and where I had been known as living in sin. My desire was, that I might be enabled to walk, the three days I intended to stay there, as it becomes a servant of Christ. For this I had been led to pray before I left Bristol, and since I had been on the Continent. At last I arrived at my father's house. How affecting to meet him once more!
April 5th. Heimersleben. This afternoon a friend of my father called —one who knows not the Lord. After a few minutes the Lord gave me an opportunity of setting before him the fundamental truths of the gospel, and the joy and comfort they afford, and have afforded to me. Thus a way was opened to me of stating the truth more fully than ever I had been able to do before, by word of mouth, in the presence of my father and brother, without saying to them, "Thou art the man." I was assisted by the Lord. May He water the seed sown!
April 6th. I have not on this visit spoken directly to my father about the state of his soul, though he has more than ever heard the truth from my lips. God has indeed been with me, and I believe that I have been led by Him to pursue this course. Different, however, has been the way in which I have dealt with my unconverted brother; for the relationship in which I stand to him is a different one. For this afternoon, I not only pointed out to him his danger, but spoke also respecting his sins, and have done so in my letters, and intend to do so still, if the Lord permit. I spent this evening in relating to my father and brother some of the Lord's dealings with me in England, particularly how He has graciously provided for my temporal wants in answer to prayer, and they both seemed to feel, for the moment at least, the blessedness of such a life.
April 7th. A part of this morning I spent in walking about with my father to see one of his gardens, and some of his fields, because I knew it would give him pleasure; and I felt that I ought in every way to show him kindness and attention, as far as I conscientiously could. To-morrow, God willing, I intend to leave, and to return to England. The Lord, in His rich mercy, in answer to my prayer, has enabled me so to walk before my father, and has also impressed what I have said so far upon his heart, as to cause him to say to-day, "May God help me to follow your example, and to act according to what you have said to me."
Leaves for Bristol
April 9th. Celle. Yesterday morning I drove with my father to Halberstadt, where, with many tears, he separated from me. I was alone in the mail, which was a great comfort to me. It was a solemn time. I found myself again on the road to Brunswick, which I had traversed twice in the service of the devil, and now I was travelling on it in the name of Jesus. I discerned, in passing, the inn at Wolfenbüttel, from whence I intended to run away, and where I was arrested. How peculiar were my feelings! In the evening we reached Brunswick, from whence we started the same night. During the night I heard a fearfully wicked, most profligate, infidel, and scoffing conversation between the conductor and a student, and the only testimony I gave was, complete silence all the time. I arrived here this morning at eight, and have been here all the morning, as the mail will not start for Hamburg until four this afternoon. It has been far from well with me in my soul to-day. That awful conversation last night has been spiritual poison to me. How very soon do we, even unconsciously, receive evil!
April 10th. Hamburg. I arrived here at ten this morning.
April 15th. Bristol. Yesterday at one we landed in London. In answer to prayer I soon obtained my things from the Customhouse, and reached my friends in Chancery Lane a little before two, where I found a letter from my wife, stating that brother Craik is ill with inflammation in the wind-pipe, and therefore, humanly speaking, will be unable to preach for some time. In consequence of this I started immediately for Bristol and arrived this morning. I found brother Craik better than I had expected, though completely unable to attend to the ministry of the Word.
May 5th. My father-in-law has been for several days very ill.
June 3rd. To-day we had a public meeting on account of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad. It is now fifteen months, since, in dependence upon the Lord for the supply of means, we have been enabled to provide poor children with schooling, circulate the Holy Scriptures, and aid missionary labours. During this time, though the field of labour has been continually enlarged, and though we have now and then been brought low in funds, the Lord has never allowed us to be obliged to stop the work. We have been enabled during this time to establish three day schools, and to connect with the Institution two other charity day schools, which, humanly speaking, otherwise would have been closed for want of means. The number of children that have been thus provided with schooling amounts to 439.
June 20th. Our father is evidently to-day near his end. June 22nd. This morning at two our father died.—June 23rd. Both our children are ill.—June 24th. Our little boy is very ill. June 25th. The dear little boy is so ill that I have no hope of his recovery. The disease is inflammation in the chest. I spoke this evening comfortably at Gideon, on Psalm 145:1–4, thinking it right that neither the death of my father-in-law, nor my dying child, should keep me from the Lord's work. The Lord's holy will be done concerning the dear little one.—June 26th. My prayer last evening was, that God would be pleased to support my dear wife under the trial, should He remove the little one; and to take him soon to Himself, thus sparing him from suffering. I did not pray for the child's recovery. It was but two hours after that the dear little one went home.
June 27th. My dear wife is graciously supported. May the Lord grant that these afflictions may not be lost upon us! June 28th. I preached to-day both times comfortably.—June 29th. This morning was the funeral. The remains of our father and infant were put into the same grave.
July 3rd. Our taxes are due, and may be called for any day, and for the first time we have no money to pay them, as we were obliged, on account of our late afflictions, to spend the money which we had put by for them. May the Lord in mercy provide! July 6th. I was enabled to-day, by the free-will offerings through the boxes, and by what I had left, to pay the taxes before they were called for. How kind of the Lord to answer my prayer so soon!—July 8th. This evening I had £5 sent from Weston-super-Mare. So the Lord has again appeared. May I praise His holy name for this seasonable help, which came when I had scarcely any money left!—July 14th. To-day I had again a suit of new clothes given to me by a brother. My clothes were much worn and old, and our late funeral might have given a second reason for having new ones. But I did not order any, because I had no money to pay for them, and thought it wrong to contract debts.—A fresh paper was brought in to-day for taxes, which ought to have been asked for many months since. May the Lord give us the means to pay them!
July 22nd. The last-mentioned taxes were called for this morning, just after the Lord had sent us £5 from a distance of about eighty miles. So the Lord has again of late repeatedly, in answer to prayer, sent help. May this lead us to trust in Him for the future!
Illness
August 15th. To-day dear brother Craik returned from Devonshire, much better in his general health, but not as regards his voice.—August 24th. I feel very weak, and suffer more than ever before. I am in doubt whether to leave Bristol entirely for a time. I have no money to go away for a change of air. I have had an invitation to stay for a week with a sister in the country, and I think of accepting the invitation, and going tomorrow.—August 26th. To-day I had £5 given to me for the express purpose of getting a change of air.—August 29th. To-day I received another £5 for the same purpose.
August 30th. To-day, for the first Lord's day since our arrival in Bristol, I have been kept from preaching through illness. How mercifully has the Lord dealt in giving me so much strength for these years! I had another £5 sent, to aid me in procuring change of air. How kind is the Lord in thus providing me with the means of leaving Bristol!—September 2nd. Went with my family to Portishead.—September 3rd to 5th. I read the lives of the English martyrs at the time of the Reformation. My spirit has been greatly refreshed. May the Lord help me to follow these holy men as far as they followed Christ! Of all reading, besides that of the Holy Scriptures, which should be always THE book, THE CHIEF book to us, not merely in theory, but also in practice, such like books seem to me the most useful for the growth of the inner man. Yet one has to be cautious in the choice, and to guard against reading too much.
September 14th. We are still at Portishead. I am but little better. I am greatly bowed down to-day on account of my inward corruptions and carnality of heart. When will God deliver me from this state? How I long to be more like Him! My present way of living is also a great trial to me. The caring so much about the body; the having for my chief employment eating and drinking, walking, bathing, and taking horse exercise; all this, to which I have not been at all accustomed these six years, I find to be very trying. I would much rather be again in the midst of the work in Bristol, if my Lord will condescend to use His most unworthy servant.
September 15th. As I clearly understood that the person who lets me his horse has no licence, I saw that, being bound as a believer to act according to the laws of the country, I could use it no longer; and as horse exercise seems most important, humanly speaking, for my restoration, and as this is the only horse which is to be had in the place, we came to the conclusion to leave Portishead to-morrow. Immediately after, I received a kind letter from a brother and two sisters in the Lord, who lived in the Isle of Wight, to go and stay with them for some time. This matter has been to-day a subject for prayer and consideration.
September 16th. We came this morning to the conclusion to leave Portishead to-day, and that I should go to the Isle of Wight; but we saw not how my wife and child and our servant could accompany me, as we had not sufficient money for travelling expenses. The Lord graciously removed the difficulty this evening; for we received, most unexpectedly and unasked for, £6 13s., which was owed to us, and also a letter containing £2. How very, very kind and tender is the Lord!
September 19th. This evening we arrived at the Isle of Wight.
September 27th. To-day I am thirty years of age. I feel myself an unprofitable servant. How much more might I have lived for God than I have done! May the Lord grant, that, if I am allowed to stay a few days more in this world, they may be spent entirely for Him!
September 29th. Last evening, when I retired from the family, I had a desire to go to rest at once, for I had prayed a short while before; and feeling weak in body, the coldness of the night was a temptation for me to pray no further. However, the Lord did help me to fall upon my knees; and no sooner had I commenced praying, than He shone into my soul, and gave me such a spirit of prayer as I had not enjoyed for many weeks. He graciously once more revived His work in my heart. I enjoyed that nearness to God and fervency in prayer, for more than an hour, for which my soul had been panting for many weeks past. For the first time during this illness I could ask the Lord earnestly to restore me again, which had not been the case before. I now long to go back again to the work in Bristol, yet without impatience, and feel assured that the Lord will strengthen me to return to it. I went to bed especially happy, and awoke this morning in great peace, rose sooner than usual, and had again, real communion with the Lord before breakfast. May He in mercy continue this state of heart to His most unworthy child!
October 9th. I have many times had thoughts of giving in print some account of the Lord's goodness to me, for the instruction, comfort, and encouragement of the children of God; and I have been more than ever stirred up to do so since I read Newton's life a few days ago. I have considered, to-day, all the reasons for and against, and find that there are scarcely any against, and many for it.
October 15th. To-day we left for Bristol.
November 18th. This evening £30 was given to me; £25 for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, and £5 for myself. This is a most remarkable answer to prayer.