Personal Matters, from 1844 to 1885 (part 1 of 3)
CHAPTER XIV
PERSONAL MATTERS, FROM 1844–1885
[Mr. Müller's earlier personal history has been given in Chapters I. to VII.]
SOON after my return from Germany in 1844, I had it laid on my heart to go there again for a season; but, before doing so, I felt called upon to prepare for the press a new edition of my Narrative. For this, however, a large sum of money was required, as I purposed to print not less than 4,000 copies. As I had no money of my own for this object, I gave myself to prayer, and, after having prayed several months respecting it, I received on December 30th, 1844, unasked for, the sum which would be needed to accomplish this object.
December 31st. The Lord has been pleased to give me during this year £267 6s. 9d. To this is to be added, that, for the first two months and six days of this year, my expenses, and those of my dear wife, during our stay in Germany, and also our travelling expenses back, were met, as already stated, in full. Also during the whole of this year a Christian lady gave to our dear child board and schooling without any remuneration, a present worth to us not less than £50.
After our daughter had been at school for half a year, I asked for the account, when it was stated to me by the Christian lady in whose establishment she was, that she had a pleasure in educating her gratuitously. However, as I pressed the matter, I obtained the account. It was paid, but the exact sum was returned to me anonymously, which, of course, I found out at once to be from the Christian sister at whose school my daughter was. From that time I could never more obtain the account, though my dear child was about six years longer at school. I refer to this point for this special reason: God had laid it on my heart to care about poor destitute Orphans. To this service I had been led to give myself; He, in return, as a recompense even for this life, took care that my own beloved child should have a very good education, free of expense to me. I was able, and well able, to pay for her education, and most willing to do so; but the Lord gave it gratuitously; thus also showing how ready He is, abundantly to help me and to supply my wants.
Visits Germany
January 6th. To-day I received the most painful information that a false teacher from Switzerland had found his way among the brethren and sisters at Stuttgart, and that through him several, yea almost all, to a greater or less degree had been drawn aside, and shaken as to the very foundations of their faith.
I cannot describe how bitter the trial was to me to see the Lord thus dishonoured, and my service for seven months during the previous year, to all appearance, entirely frustrated. The Lord, however, laid these brethren and sisters on my heart in prayer, so that I was day by day enabled to bring them before, God, and also to resolve, that, as soon as my path was made plain, I would go again to Stuttgart for a season.
May 3rd. I have seen it more and more clearly of late, that the time is drawing near, when I shall go again to Germany, to labour there for a time; for the brethren who had fallen into grievous errors are now recovering out of them, but need a helping hand to restore them fully, or at least to confirm them in the truth. In addition to this I purpose to publish some Tracts in German. But though it is now four months, since I have been daily praying respecting this object, I never had been led to ask the Lord to give me means for it, because I felt assured that, when His time was come for me to go, He would provide the means; and also because I had never felt myself led to pray about it. To-day, however, I asked the Lord that He would provide the means for all that is necessary in connection with this service; and I had a secret satisfaction in feeling that so much was required, i.e., means for the journey to and fro, means for our stay there, means for the publication of Tracts, and means to be left behind for the work in Bristol, to supply the need at least for a time, for I did not wish to go, unless it were the Lord's will, and if so, He would give the means. Now see how the Lord dealt with me! About a quarter of an hour after I had been in prayer with my dear wife respecting this object, and I had now, for the first time, asked Him for means to carry it out, though for four months we had daily prayed together respecting spiritual success in this service I received a letter containing an order for £500. In the this letter was written: "I enclose £500, which will be more useful in your hands than in mine. I mean it in the first place for all that is needed preparatory to and attendant upon your journey to Germany, and, whatever the surplus may be, you will apply as you find there, is need in the different parts of service under your care." Thus the Lord has fully answered our request for means, and that so speedily!
On July 19th my dear wife and I left Bristol for Stuttgart.
I should have liked to preach the gospel in the streets or in the market places in Germany; but for that there was no liberty I did therefore what I could, in spreading about 1,100 copies of my Narrative, and tens of thousands of Tracts. In this I was particularly encouraged by remembering that that great work, at the time of the Reformation, was chiefly accomplished by means of printed publications.
We travelled in a hired carriage for seventeen days, each day about forty or forty-five miles. I had a box, containing about thirty thousand Tracts, made on purpose, behind the carriage, and in the fore-part several portmanteaus filled with Tracts and copies of my Narrative in German. As we went on, my dear wife and I looked out for travellers who were coming, or persons on the road-side, and handed the books or Tracts to them.
Perhaps the reader may ask: What has been the result of this labour in Germany? My reply is: God only knows. The day of Christ will declare it. Judging from the constant labour in prayer during eight months before we went, and day by day while we were on the Continent, and day by day for a long time after our return, I am warranted to expect fruit, and I do expect it. I expect abundant fruit in the day of Christ's appearing. In the meantime my comfort is, that 220,000 Tracts have been circulated, many of which through the providence of God found their way not only into the darkest places of the Continent of Europe, but went also to America and Australia. Further, the 4,000 copies of my Narrative in German are almost all circulated. And again, the publishing of my Narrative in German led me to do the same in French, which was accomplished about three years later. Further, these Tracts were reprinted at Hamburg and at Cologne, and are circulated by other Christians; in addition to which, my having published them in Germany led me to get them stereotyped in England, and they continue to be circulated in many countries.
December 31st. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give to me, altogether, £433 19s. 1¾d. Also again during the whole of this year my dear child had her education free at a boarding school, as stated at the close of the last year, whereby I saved about £50. Also my travelling expenses to and from Germany, and other expenses, connected with my service in Germany, were paid out of the £500 to which reference has been made. Adding these two items to £433, I had at least £500.
Esteemed reader, what do you think of this? Is it not a pleasant thing, in the end, even for this life, really to trust in God? Verily, thus I have found it to be, and thus do I find it to be, the longer I live. Only there must be real trust in God, and it must be more than merely using words. If we trust in God, we look to Him alone, we deal with Him alone, and we are satisfied with His knowing about our need. Two things I add, as I write my experience and the Lord's dealings with me for the profit of the saints.
During the last year I resolved that, by God's help, I would seek to be more than ever a channel for the communication of God's bounties, and to communicate to those in need, or to give to the work of God. I acted according to the light which God gave me, and He condescended to make me His steward in one way or another far more abundantly than ever before. Would we wish to have means entrusted to us by the Lord, or to succeed in our trade, business, profession, etc., we must be truly desirous of being His stewards, and only His stewards.
In looking over my journal, I find that during this year also I was more than once without a shilling, yea, without a penny, though my income was about £500.
Conversion of Lydia Müller
April 29th. To-day my beloved wife and myself had the inexpressibly great joy of receiving a letter from our beloved daughter, while we are staying in the Lord's service at Chippenham, in which she writes that she has now found peace in the Lord Jesus. Thus our prayers are turned into praises.
[The following is a copy of part of the letter referred to:—]
My very dear Father and Mother,
"I am so very glad that you are better. I am much obliged for dear Mother's kind note. Dearest Father and Mother, I wished to tell you that I was now happy, but I have not liked to, and I thought I could better tell you in writing than by speaking. I do not know exactly the time when I first was happy in the prospect of death and eternity, but I know that the work of God in my heart was very gradual. I can now say, 'Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift.' Please dear Father and Mother to pray for me, that I may be kept from dishonouring God, and that I may be more and more thankful to Him for the gift of His Son, and for my dear parents, my dear Aunty, my dear teachers, and all kind friends who love me and pray for me. And now dear Father and Mother with much love,
"I remain your affectionate little daughter,
"LYDIA MÜLLER."
After hearing from her in April, she was not received at once to communion, but, being so young, I judged it desirable to watch the work in her soul. Towards the end of the year, however, my fellowlabourers being fully satisfied, she was baptized and received into communion, when she was 14 years and 3 months old.
December 31st. The Lord has been pleased to give me during this year £399 2s. 11d. To this is again to be added, that during the whole of this year also my daughter was, free of all expenses, at a boarding school. This was worth about £50.
December 31st. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £412 18s. 8½d.
To this there is again to be added the free education of my dear daughter, at a boarding school, worth to us at least £50.
In April I was enabled, by the help of the Lord, to complete all the arrangements for the publication of the Narrative of the Lord's Dealings with me in the French language.
1848–1851
December 31st, 1848. During this year the Lord was pleased to give me £474 17s. 7d.; in 1849, £413 2s. 4d.; in 1850, £402 4s. 5d.; and in 1851, £465 13s. 1¾d.
December 31st. The Lord has been pleased to give me during this year £445 8s. 8½d.
My brother-in-law, Mr. A. N. Groves, of whom mention has been made, as having been helpful to me by his example when I began my labours in England in 1829, in that he, without any visible support, and without being connected with any Missionary Society, went with his wife and children to Bagdad, as a Missionary, after having given up a lucrative practice of about £1,500 per year, returned in Autumn, 1852, from the East Indies, a third time, being exceedingly ill. He lived, however, till May 20th, 1853, when, after a most blessed testimony for the Lord, he fell asleep in Jesus in my house.
Illness of Lydia Müller
In July it pleased the Lord to try my faith in a way in which before it had not been tried. My beloved daughter was taken ill on June 20th. This illness proved to be typhus fever. On July 3rd there seemed no hope of her recovery. Now was the trial of faith. But faith triumphed. My beloved wife and I were enabled to give her up into the hands of the Lord. He sustained us both. But I will only speak about myself. Though my only and beloved child was brought near the grave, yet was my soul in perfect peace, satisfied with the will of my Heavenly Father, being assured that He would only do that for her and her parents, which in the end would be the best. She continued very ill till about July 20th, when restoration began. On August 18th, though exceedingly weak, she was so far restored, that she could be removed to Clevedon for change of air. It was then fifty-nine days since she was first taken ill.
While I was in this affliction, this great affliction, besides being at peace, so far as the Lord's dispensation was concerned, I also felt perfectly at peace with regard to the cause of the affliction. Once, on a former occasion, the hand of the Lord was heavily laid on me in my family. I had not the least hesitation in knowing, that it was the Father's rod, applied in infinite wisdom and love, for the restoration of my soul from a state of lukewarmness. At this time, however, I had no such feeling. Conscious as I was of manifold weaknesses, failings, and shortcomings, so that I too would be ready to say with the Apostle Paul, "O wretched man that I am;" yet I was assured that this affliction was not upon me in the way of the fatherly rod, but for the trial of my faith. Persons often have, no doubt, the idea respecting me, that all my trials of faith regard matters connected with money, though the reverse has been stated by me very frequently; now, however, the Lord would try my faith concerning one of my dearest earthly treasures, yea, next to my beloved wife, the dearest of all my earthly possessions. Parents know what an only child, a beloved child is, and what to believing parents an only child, a believing child, must be. Well, the Father in heaven said, as it were, by this His dispensation, Art thou willing to give up this child to Me? My heart responded, As it seems good to Thee, my Heavenly Father. Thy will be done. But as our hearts were made willing to give back our beloved child to Him who had given her to us, so He was ready to leave her to us, and she lived. "Delight thyself also in the Lord; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart" (Ps. 37:4). The desires of my heart were, to retain the beloved daughter, if it were the will of God; the means to retain her were, to be satisfied with the will of the Lord.
Of all the trials of faith that as yet I have had to pass through, this was the greatest; and by God's abundant mercy, I own it to His praise, I was enabled to delight myself in the will of God; for I felt perfectly sure, that, if the Lord took this beloved daughter, it would be best for her parents, best for herself, and more for the glory of God than if she lived: this better part I was satisfied with; and thus my heart had peace, perfect peace, and I had not a moment's anxiety. Thus would it be under all circumstances, however painful, were the believer exercising faith.
December 31st. During this year the Lord was pleased to give me £638 11s. 8½d.
December 31st. The Lord has been pleased to give me during this year £697 11s. 5d.
Some of my readers may be ready to exclaim, £697 11s. 5d.! What a large sum! Not one out of a hundred ministers has such a large salary, nor one out of twenty clergymen such a good living! Should you, esteemed reader, say so, my reply is: Indeed mine is a happy way for the obtaining of my temporal supplies; but if any one desires to go this way he must not merely say that he trusts in God, but must really do so. Often individuals profess to trust in God, but they embrace every opportunity, directly or indirectly, to expose their need, and thus seek to induce persons to help them. I do not say it is wrong to make known our wants; but I do say it ill agrees with trust in God, to expose our wants for the sake of inducing persons to help us. God will take us at our word. If we say we trust in Him, He will try whether we really do so, or only profess to do so; and if indeed we trust in Him, we are satisfied to stand with Him alone.
The individual who desires to go this way must be willing to be rich or poor, as the Lord pleases. He must be willing to know what it is to have an abundance or scarcely anything. He must be willing to leave this world without any possessions. He must be willing to take the money in God's way, not merely in large sums but in small. Again and again have I had a single shilling given, or sent to me. To have refused such tokens of Christian love, would have been ungracious. He must be willing to live as the Lord's steward. If any one were to begin this way of living, and did not communicate out of that which the Lord gives to him, but hoard it up; or, if he would live up to his income, as it is called, then the Lord, who influences the hearts of His children, to help him with means, would soon cause those channels to be dried up.
Various reasons might have kept me from publishing these accounts; but I have for my object in writing, the glory of God, and therefore delight in thus showing what a loving Master I serve, and how bountifully He supplies my necessities; and I write for the comfort and encouragement of my fellow-believers, that they may be led to trust in God more and more, and therefore I feel it due to them to state, how, even with regard to this life, I am amply provided for, though that is not what I seek after.
December 31st. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £726 16s. 2¼d.
This, dear reader, is the writer's statement after having acted on these principles for more than twenty-five years. You see, not for a week, a month, or even a year, how the writer has been dealt, with by the Lord, after he had set out in this way; but in all simplicity he has related to you, how it has been with him year after year.
In 1855 I plainly stated in figures, how abundantly the Lord had been pleased, simply through trusting in Him, to supply all my temporal necessities. I did this to the honour of the Lord, and in entire dependence upon God; for, looking at it naturally, the result would be, that my dear Christian friends, who had, before that time, felt interested in my temporal affairs, would say, that I received such an abundance, that they needed no longer to supply me with means. But, though this would be naturally suggested to me, yet, since I had only the honour of God in view, in writing the Lord's dealings with me, and not my honour or my temporal advantage, I wrote as I did, whatever the consequences as to my temporal interests might be.
And what has been the result? Some of my Christian friends have indeed said, "Mr. Müller is so well supplied, that he does not need anything from us." But how has the Lord acted? He knew, that I held His bountiful supplies as His steward only, that I did not wish to lay up money, but counted it an honour to spend it for Him; and therefore, though some on the ground of my abundance have withheld, He Himself has honoured more and more not only my trust in Him, but also the principles on which I acted with reference to stewardship; so that, instead of having far less, God has given me year by year a greater abundance still. During the very first month, after my Narrative had appeared before the eye of the public, I received a greater amount of money than ever I had received during one month in my whole life before; and from that time it has been, I may say, one continual stream of abundance. When on the 31st of December, 1856, I made up my accounts, I found that I had received in the course of the year £781 0s. 7d.
Thus the poor foreigner, whose whole possession was £5, when he began to labour for the Lord in this country, had now received, during one year, £781 0s. 7d., simply in answer to prayer, without asking any one for anything, and without a shilling of salary, either in connection with the ministry of the Word, or as Director of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. "O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him" (Ps. 34:8).
January 20th. I had given to me for myself £150.—October 12th. Today I heard of the conversion of a gentleman for whose conversion I had been daily praying for 12 years and 11 months; viz., since November, 1844, How great my joy was on this account, those can easily understand who, after having long waited upon the Lord, at last have their prayers answered.
December 31st. On this day I found that, during the past year, the Lord had been pleased to give me £836 11s. 2¼d.
On June 19th, a Christian lady in Berkshire, whom I had never seen, sent me £100 for my own personal expenses; and on August 6th, a Christian gentleman, at Birmingham, sent me £100, with the special wish to use it in taking care of my health. This last donation came to hand almost instantly after I had given to a Christian brother in business, who was in great difficulty, a considerable sum, in order to enable him to continue his business; and thus the Lord again proved, how He had taken notice of this, and how He was willing yet further and further to supply me with means for His work or the necessities of those among whom more especially my lot was cast.
December 31st. During this year the Lord was pleased to give me £1,029 1s. 11¼d.
Do you see, esteemed reader, how my income increased more and more? And how came this? Because I acted according to the injunctions of the Lord, in regard to the means with which He was pleased to entrust me; at least it was my aim so to do. As He was pleased to give me means, so His own blessed work was remembered, as to Missions, the circulation of the Holy Scriptures and Tracts, etc.; and as He was pleased to entrust me with means, the orphan, the widow, the poor generally, and especially also poor believers, were remembered; and, with all this, relatives also had a share out of that with which I was entrusted, in case they needed it; and so it came, that the Lord was pleased to give me more and more.
February 10th. This day thirty years ago I left my father's house, to set out for England. How wonderfully has the Lord dealt with me since!
June 18th. Received from a Baroness in Holland, whose name I had not even heard before, £17 2s. 7d., as one of the numberless ways in which God has been pleased to supply me with means for myself.
On October 7th, it was twenty-nine years since I was united in marriage to my beloved, excellent wife, who, with very little interruption, enjoyed very good health up to this time; but at the end of the twenty-ninth year of our conjugal union she was laid aside by rheumatism, became a great sufferer, and continued a sufferer month alter mouth, till about the middle of the year 1860; so that for about nine months this most devoted servant of the Lord Jesus was almost entirely helpless, and unable to work. And yet this great affliction to her and to me was so used by the Lord in the reestablishing of her health and Strength, that she was, through this very affliction, which obliged her to rest so much, spared to me and the work of the Lord for ten years longer than otherwise, humanly speaking, she might have been. When my beloved wife was first taken ill, I said to myself, The Lord has graciously continued to me this beloved wife for twenty-nine years in almost uninterrupted good health; it becomes me, therefore, not only to be satisfied with His holy will concerning this affliction, but particularly to seek to look at the Lord's kindness in her almost uninterrupted good health, instead of dwelling only on the trial of her present illness.
December. 31st. During the past year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,037 12s. 10¾d.
January 14th. Last evening I sent off £5 10s. for four poor saints, and £2 10s. for the Lord's work, and to-day I received a present of £150 for myself. I refer to this and other such instances as the best, practical illustration of the truth of that word, "There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth" (Proverbs 11:24).
December 31st. During the past year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,054 9s. 0½d.
Observe, esteemed reader, the steady increase of my income. The Lord entrusted me with more and more. Why? Because, by His grace, I sought to act for Him as His steward, and had, therefore, not only for myself and family all the necessaries, yea, all the conveniences of life, but also the joy, the honour, and precious privilege of being allowed to give away year by year a large sum, comparatively.
1861 and 1862
December 31st, 1861. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,097 12s. 6¾d.
December 31st, 1862. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,067 6s. 11½d.
In going over these accounts, in which every shilling received by me was entered, I find how great is the number of kind Christian friends, who helped me with their means, in regard to my private expenses, who have fallen asleep since. But while they have been removed, and therefore their kind help has failed, my never-failing Friend, the living God, has remained to me, and has continued most abundantly to help me, year after year. Nor do I doubt in the least, that He will continue to help me to the end of my course.
1863 to 1865
Mr. Müller's investments
December 31st, 1863. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,172 10s. 6½d.
December 31st, 1864. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,230 15s. 7¼d.
The reader may exclaim, "£1,230! what a large sum!" Yes, esteemed reader, it is a large sum. And what did Mr. Müller do with all this money? Did he invest it? Yes I did. I had a beloved wife, a most beloved wife; had a daughter, a most beloved daughter, and the best provision I could make for them was, to seek week after week, month after month, year after year, to lay up treasure, in heaven. And this I did. And so it came, that as I had always an abundance of opportunities to spend my means in the Lord's work, or on poor saints, or on poor unconverted persons, now and then also in connection with relatives who were in need; I was generally at the close of each succeeding year as I had been at the close of the previous year, viz., without property, in so far as regards earthly possessions; but, at the same time, it pleased the Lord yet further to entrust His servant not only with means for himself, but to give to him more than ever, as the reader will see in what follows. The great secret in stewardship, if we desire to be entrusted with more, is, to be faithful in the stewardship, which implies, that we do not consider what we have to belong to ourselves, but to the Lord. This, by God's grace, I have sought to do, and, at the same time, trusted in God fully; and thus it has come, that I have abounded more and more. All this I write, by God's grace, not in self-complacency, but with selfabasement; but I write it that my brethren in Christ may be benefited, and that it may be seen that discipleship can be carried out in the nineteenth century as fully as ever, and with regard to not laying up treasure upon earth in particular.
December 31st, 1865. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,365 4s. 1½d.
Death of Mr. Craik
January 22nd. This evening, about half-past eleven, my beloved fellow-labourer and intimate friend for thirty-six years, Mr. Henry Craik, fell asleep, after an illness of seven months. Both of us had then known the Lord a little above forty years: and both of us were then a little above sixty years of age. My beloved brother and friend now had finished his course; I was privileged and honoured further to labour for the Lord, and to do this now without him, with whom I had often taken counsel. My heart, however, as in all my former trials and difficulties, looked to the Lord, whom I knew, and on whom I had been in the habit practically of leaning for more than thirty-six years. And now [1874], after the lapse of all these years since that mournful event, I have to state to His praise, that He has helped me, and that in every way His blessing has been continued to me, and even far more abundantly than before.
January 30th. The earthly remains of my beloved friend, Mr. Craik, were committed to the grave this day; but I am ill at home, and became much worse this evening.
For about three months afterwards I was more or less in a feeble state of health.
December 31st. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,602 1s. 6½d.
December 31st. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,847 19s. 4½d.
Notice particularly, esteemed reader, that I was not one year or another year, and these far between, bountifully supplied by the Lord; but year after year. Observe, also, in particular, that these donations were received from hundreds of donors, who were residing not only in various parts of England, Scotland, and Ireland, but in France, Switzerland, Italy, Germany, Denmark, Sweden, Holland, Belgium, Canada, the United States, India, Australia, New Zealand, China, etc. There is scarcely a country in the world from whence I have not received donations for myself as well as for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, which furnishes another precious proof that the hearts of all men are in the hands of God, and that, if we have Him on our side we cannot but be cared for and helped, whatever our position may be, and wherever our lot may be cast. When the Israelites wandered through the wilderness, they had food, water to drink, raiment, and everything they really needed; and had they not rebelled against God, they would have fared still better, humanly speaking, notwithstanding their wilderness position.
1868 to 1870
December 31st, 1868. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,838 17s. 4½d.
What a goodly sum again! More than six times as much as I need for myself and family, to have not only all the necessaries but all the conveniences of life!
April 28th, 1869. To-day I drew cheque 10,000. I mention this to the reader, to show the greatness of my business arrangements.
December 31st, 1869. During this year the Lord has been pleased to give me £1,800 16s. 10½d.
Death of Mrs. Müller
February 6th, 1870. On October 7th, 1830, therefore 39 years and 4 months ago, the Lord gave me my most valuable, lovely, and holy wife. Her value to me, and the blessing God made her to be to me, is beyond description. This blessing was continued to mo till this day, when this afternoon, about four o'clock, the Lord took her to Himself.
February 11th. To-day the earthly remains of my precious wife were laid in the grave. Many thousands of persons showed the deepest sympathy. About 1,200 of the Orphans, who were able to walk, followed in the procession; the whole staff of Helpers at the Orphan Houses who could be spared, and hundreds of believers of the Church with which she had been in communion; I, myself, sustained by the Lord to the utmost, performed the service at the chapel, in the cemetery, etc.
Preaches Mrs. Müller's funeral sermon
Shortly after the funeral I was very unwell, but, as soon as I was sufficiently recovered, I preached my late dear wife's funeral sermon.
As all the principal matters connected with her illness, her removal, our happy conjugal life, and her usefulness as a helper to me in the work of the Lord, are contained in the funeral sermon I give it here; and also because the reader will thus be furnished somewhat better with the inner life and the ways of the writer, than otherwise he would. [Some parts are now omitted]:—
"Thou art good, and doest good"—PSALM 119:68
The reason why I purpose to preach this funeral sermon, is not because the late Mrs. Müller was my own beloved wife; nor, that I might have an opportunity of speaking highly of her, most worthy though she was of it; but that I may magnify the Lord in giving her to me, in leaving her to me so long, and in taking her from me to Himself. At the same time it appeared to me well, as she became the first member of the church assembling at Bethesda, when it was formed in August, 1832, and as her whole life ever since then has been of the most blameless character, that at the departure, of such a Christian, we should ponder the lessons which her life is calculated to teach.
During the six days that my beloved wife was on her death-bed, my soul was sustained by the truth contained in the words of our text. Whether she was more easy from pain, or in severe pain; whether there was a little prospect that she might yet be given back to me, or whether all hope was gone; my soul was sustained by these words. They were ever present with me, and I rested my soul on them. When it pleased God to take my darling wife to Himself, my soul was so sustained by these words, that if I had gone out that evening to preach, I should have preached on this text. I desire now, as God may help me, for the benefit of my younger fellow-believers in Christ particularly, to dwell on the truth contained in these words, with reference to my beloved departed wife.
I. The Lord was good, and did good, in giving her to me.
II. He was good, and did good in so long leaving her to me.
III. He was good, and did good, in taking her from me.
I. In giving her to me, I own the hand of God; nay, His hand was most marked; and my soul says, "Thou art good, and doest good."
When, at the end of the year 1829, I left London to labour in Devonshire in the gospel, a brother in the Lord gave to me a card containing the address of a well-known Christian lady, Miss Paget, who then resided in Exeter, in order that I should call on her. I took this address, but thought little of calling on her. For three weeks I carried this card in my pocket without making an effort to see this lady; but at last I was led to do so. This was God's way of giving me my excellent wife. Miss Paget asked me to preach the last Tuesday in January, 1830, at the room which she had fitted up at Poltimore, a village near Exeter, and where Mr. A. N. Groves, afterwards my brother-in-law, had preached once a month before he went out as a Missionary to Bagdad. I accepted readily the invitation. On leaving Miss Paget, she gave me the address of a Christian brother, Mr. Hake, who had an Infant Boarding School at Northernhay House, the former residence of Mr. A. N. Groves, in order that I might stay there on my arrival in Exeter from Teignmouth. To this place I went at the appointed time. Miss Groves, afterwards my beloved wife, was there; for Mrs. Hake had been a great invalid for a long time, and Miss Groves helped Mr. Hake in his great affliction, by superintending his household matters. My first visit led to my going again to preach at Poltimore, after the lapse of a month, and I stayed again at Mr. Hake's house; and this second visit led to my preaching once a week in a chapel at Exeter; and thus I went, week after week, from Teignmouth to Exeter, each time staying in the house of Mr. Hake.
Engagement
All this time my purpose had been not to marry at all, but to remain free for travelling about in the service of the gospel; but after some months I saw, for many reasons, that it was better for me, as a young Pastor, under 25 years of age, to be married. The question now was, to whom shall I be united? Miss Groves was before my mind; but the prayerful conflict was long, before I came to a decision; for I could not bear the thought that I should take away from Mr. Hake this valued helper, as Mrs. Hake continued still unable to take the responsibility of so large a household. But I prayed again and again.
At last this decided me, I had reason to believe that I had begotten an affection in the heart of Miss Groves for me, and that therefore I ought to make a proposal of marriage to her, however unkindly I might appear to act to my dear friend and brother, Mr. Hake, and to ask God to give him a suitable helper to succeed Miss Groves. On August 15th, 1830, I therefore wrote to her, proposing to her to become my wife, and on August 19th, when I went over as usual to Exeter for preaching, she accepted me. The first thing we did, after I was accepted, was, to fall on our knees, and to ask the blessing of the Lord on our intended union.
Marriage
In about two or three weeks, the Lord, in answer to prayer, found an individual who seemed suitable to act as housekeeper, whilst Mrs. Hake continued ill; and on October 7th, 1830, we were united in marriage. Our marriage was of the most simple character. We walked to church, had no wedding breakfast, but in the afternoon had a meeting of Christian friends in Mr. Hake's house, and commemorated the Lord's death; and then I drove off in the stagecoach with my beloved bride to Teignmouth, and the next day we went to work for the Lord. Simple us our beginning was, and unlike the habits of the world, for Christ's sake, so our godly aim has been to continue ever since. Now see the hand of God in giving me my dearest wife:—(1) That address of Miss Paget's was given to me under the ordering of God. (2) I must at last be made to call on her, though I had long delayed it. (3) She might have provided a resting-place with some other Christian friend, where I should not have seen Miss Groves. (4) My mind might have at last, after all, decided not to make a proposal to her; but God settled the matter thus in speaking to me through my conscience—you know that you have begotten affection in the heart of this Christian sister, by the way you have acted towards her, and therefore, painful though it may be, to appear to act unkindly towards your friend and brother, you ought to make her a proposal. I obeyed. I wrote the letter in which I made the proposal, and nothing but one even stream of blessing has been the result. I think it is plain, that He who "is good and doeth good," had given me Miss Groves for a wife.
Estimate of Mrs. Müller's Worth
Let us now see for a few moments what I had received in her as God's gift. I mention here, as her chief excellence, that she was a truly devoted Christian. She had for her one object of life, to live for God; and during the thirty-nine years and four months that I was united to her, her steady purpose to live for God increased more and more. She was also, as a Christian, of a meek and quiet spirit. I speak to those who knew her, and not a few of whom knew her thirty years and upwards, and who know what a very excellent Christian she was. If all Christians were like her, the joys of heaven would be found on earth far more abundantly than they are now. In her, God had been pleased to give me a Christian wife, who never at any time hindered me in the ways of God, but sought to strengthen my hands in God, and this, too, in the deepest trials, under the greatest difficulties, and when the service in which she helped me brought on her the greatest personal sacrifices. When, during the years from September, 1838, to the end of 1846, we had the greatest trials of faith in the Orphan work; and when hundreds of times the necessities of the Orphans could only be met by our means, and when often all our own money had to be expended, that precious wife never found fault with me, but heartily joined me in prayer for help from God, and with me looked out for help, and help came; and then we rejoiced together, and often wept for joy together. But the precious wife, who was God's own gift to me, was exquisitely suited to me, even naturally, by her temperament. Thousands of times I said to her, "My darling, God Himself singled you out for me, as the most suitable wife I could possibly wish to have had."
Then, as to her education, she was just all I could have wished. She had had a very good and sound education, and she knew, besides, the accomplishments of a lady. She played nicely, and painted beautifully, though not five minutes were spent at the piano or in drawing or painting after our marriage. She possessed superior knowledge of Astronomy, was exceedingly well grounded in English Grammar and Geography, had a fair knowledge of History and French, had also begun Latin and Hebrew, and learned German, when in 1843 and 1845 she accompanied me in my service to Germany.
All this cultivation of mind became not only helpful in the education of our daughter, but was more or less used by the Lord in His service to the praise of His name. She was a very good arithmetician, which for thirty-four years was a great help to me; for she habitually examined month by month all the account books, and the hundreds of bills of the matrons of the various Orphan Houses; and should any tradesman or matron have made the least mistake, it would be surely found out by her.
But, in addition to the good education of a lady, she possessed—what in our days is so rare among ladies—a thorough knowledge of useful needlework of every kind, and an excellent knowledge of the quality of material for clothes, linen, etc., and thus became so eminently useful as the wife of the director of the Orphan Houses, where hundreds of thousands of yards of material of all kinds had to be ordered by her, and to be approved of or to be rejected. My beloved wife could do fancy needlework as other ladies, and had done it when young, but she did not thus occupy her time, except she would with her own dear hands now and then net a purse for her husband while she was in the country for change of air. Her occupation had habitually a useful end. It was to get ready the many hundreds of neat little beds for the dear Orphans, most of whom had never seen such beds, far less slept in them, that she laboured. It was to get good blankets that she was busied, thus to serve the Lord Jesus, in caring for these dear bereaved children, who had not a mother or father to care for them. It was to provide numberless other useful things in the Orphan Houses, and especially for the sick rooms of the Orphans, that, day by day, except on the Lord's days, she was seen in the Orphan Houses. The knowledge which is useful to help the needy, to alleviate suffering, to make a useful wife, a useful mother, how far above the value of doing fancy work! Mrs. Müller pre-eminently possessed and valued useful knowledge. She and her dear sisters had been brought up by a wise as well as a loving mother, who saw to it that, while there was nothing spared with regard to a good school, and the attendance of good masters, etc., her daughters should, also, be eminent in useful knowledge. May Christian mothers who hear me now, take heed, that their daughters have an education which will make them useful wives and useful mothers.
Happiness of their Married Life
We have seen now, that God Himself had given me my beloved wife; we have also seen how suitable she was to me; and in the gift of such a wife, a good foundation for real conjugal happiness was laid. And were we happy? Verily we were. With every year our happiness increased more and more. I never saw my beloved wife at any time, when I met her unexpectedly anywhere in Bristol, without being delighted so to do. I never met her even in the Orphan Houses, without my heart being delighted so to do. Day by day, as we met in our dressing room at the Orphan Houses, to wash our hands before dinner and tea, I was delighted to meet her, and she was equally pleased to see me. Thousands of times I told her—"My darling, I never saw you at any time since you became my wife, without my being delighted to see you." This was not only our way in the first year of our marriage union, nor in the tenth, in the twentieth, and in the thirtieth year, but also in the fortieth year of our conjugal life. Thus I spoke to her many times since the seventh of October, 1869. Further, day after day, if anyhow it could be done, I spent after dinner twenty minutes or half an hour with her in her room at the Orphan Houses, seated on her couch, which a Christian brother had sent her in the year I860 when she was, for about nine months, so ill with rheumatism. I knew that it was good for her that her dear active mind and hands should have rest, and I knew well that this would not be, except her husband was by her side; moreover. I also needed a little rest after dinner, on account of my weak digestive powers; and therefore I spent these precious moments with my darling wife. There we sat, side by side, her hand in mine, as an habitual thing, having a few words of loving intercourse, or being silent, but most happy in the Lord, and in each other.
And thus it was many times since October 7th, 1869, viz., in the fortieth year of our conjugal life. Our happiness in God, and in each other, was indescribable. We had not some happy days every year, nor a month of happiness every year; but we had twelve months of happiness in the year, and thus year after year. Often and often did I say to that beloved one, and this again and again even in the fortieth year of our conjugal union—"My darling, do you think there is a couple in Bristol, or in the world, happier than we are?" Why do I refer to all this? To show what a remarkably great blessing to a husband is a truly godly wife, who also in other respects is fitted for him.
But while I own in the fullest degree, that the foundation of true spiritual happiness in our marriage life was laid, in that my dearest wife was a decided Christian, and fitted for me by God in other respects, and thus given to me by Him; yet, at the same time, I am most fully convinced that this was not enough for the continuation of real conjugal happiness during a course of thirty-nine years and four months, had there not been more. I therefore must add here the following points:—
(1) Both of us, by God's grace, had one object of life, and only one—to live for Christ. Everything else was of a very inferior character to us. However weak and failing in a variety of ways, there was no swerving from this one holy object of life. This godly purpose, and the godly aim, day by day, to carry out this purpose, greatly added—of necessity added—to true happiness, and therefore, to an increase of conjugal happiness also. Should this be wanting in any two Christians who are united by marriage ties, let them not be surprised if conjugal happiness, real conjugal happiness, is also wanting.