1842-1843.
FOOTNOTES:
Groats. Oats or other grain, with the hulls removed.—Ed.
CHAPTER X.
DELIVERANCE.
1838.
“PERPLEXED BUT NOT IN DESPAIR”—FAITH JUSTIFIED—A LESSON OF OBEDIENCE—BOUNTIFUL SUPPLIES—SPIRITUAL INGATHERING—A DAY OF MERCIES—TIMELY AID—A SEASON OF PLENTY—OBEDIENCE REWARDED.
Sept. 16, 1838. Lord’s day afternoon. We met again for prayer respecting supplies for the orphans. We are in peace, and our hope is in God, that he graciously will appear, though but one shilling has come in since last evening.
Sept. 17. The trial still continues. It is now more and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. But I am sure God will send help, if we can but wait. One of the laborers had had a little money come in, of which he gave twelve shillings sixpence; another laborer gave eleven shillings eightpence, being all the money she had left: this, with seventeen shillings sixpence, which partly had come in, and partly was in hand, enabled us to pay what needed to be paid, and to purchase provisions, so that nothing yet, in any way, has been lacking. This evening I was rather tried respecting the long delay of larger sums coming; but being led to go to the Scriptures for comfort, my soul was greatly refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by Psalm xxxiv., so that I went very cheerfully to meet with my dear fellow-laborers for prayer. I read to them the Psalm, and sought to cheer their hearts through the precious promises contained in it.
Sept. 18. Brother T. had twenty-five shillings in hand, and I had three shillings. This one pound eight shillings enabled us to buy the meat and bread which was needed, a little tea for one of the houses, and milk for all: no more than this is needed. Thus the Lord has provided not only for this day, but there is bread for two days in hand. Now, however, we are come to an extremity. The funds are exhausted. The laborers who had a little money have given as long as they had any left. Now observe how the Lord helped us! A lady from the neighborhood of London, who brought a parcel with money from her daughter, arrived four or five days since in Bristol, and took lodgings next door to the Boys’ Orphan House. This afternoon she herself kindly brought me the money, amounting to three pounds two shillings and sixpence. We had been reduced so low as to be on the point of selling those things which could be spared; but this morning I had asked the Lord, if it might be, to prevent the necessity of our doing so. That the money had been so near the Orphan Houses for several days without being given, is a plain proof that it was from the beginning in the heart of God to help us; but, because he delights in the prayers of his children, he had allowed us to pray so long; also to try our faith, and to make the answer much the sweeter. It is indeed a precious deliverance. I burst out into loud praises and thanks the first moment I was alone after I had received the money. I met with my fellow-laborers again this evening for prayer and praise; their hearts were not a little cheered. This money was this evening divided, and will comfortably provide for all that will be needed to-morrow.
Sept. 20. Morning. The Lord has again kindly sent in a little. Last evening was given to me one shilling and sixpence, and this morning one pound three shillings. Evening. This evening the Lord sent still further supplies; eight pounds eleven shillings and twopence halfpenny came in, as a further proof that the Lord is not unmindful of us. There was in the box of the Girls’ Orphan House one pound one shilling, and in that of the Boys’ Orphan House one pound seven shillings and twopence halfpenny. One of the laborers, in accordance with her promise this day week, gave six pounds three shillings. About eighteen months ago she saw it right no longer to have money for herself in the Savings Bank, and she therefore, in her heart, gave the money which she had there to the Orphan Houses, intending to draw it in a time of need. Some time since (she told me this evening) she drew a part of it to buy several useful articles for the Orphan Houses; now the sum was reduced to six pounds. When she found out the present need, she went this day week to the Savings Bank, and gave notice that she wished to draw her money to-day.
Sept. 22. Both yesterday and to-day we have again assembled for prayer and praise. We are in no immediate want, but on the 29th, nineteen pounds ten shillings will be due for the rent of the three Orphan Houses. To-day there was only four shillings and sevenpence in hand for the other objects of the institution, though it was the payday for some of the teachers. My comfort was the living God. During this week he had helped me so repeatedly and in such a remarkable way, as it regards the Orphan Houses, that it would have been doubly sinful not to have trusted in him for help under this fresh difficulty. No money came in this morning. About two, the usual time when the teachers are paid, a sovereign was given, with which I went immediately to brother T., who attends to this part of the work, to pay, at least in part, the weekly salaries. I found that he had received a sovereign in the morning. By means of this sovereign, together with the one which I had received just at the moment when it was needed, we were helped through this day.
Sept. 25. Yesterday and the previous days we have continued to assemble for prayer. In four days the rent for the Orphan Houses will be due, and we have nothing towards it; also the housekeeping money in the three houses is now again gone. May the Lord have compassion on us, and continue to send us help! This morning there was found nine shillings and sixpence in the box in my house. We met yesterday again for prayer. To-day I was not able to go, on account of indisposition; I sent, therefore, to brother T. to request him to divide the eighteen shillings and sixpence (ten shillings of which had come in last evening, and eight shillings and sixpence of which we had in hand) between the three matrons.
Sept. 29. Saturday evening. Prayer has been made for several days past respecting the rent, which is due this day. I have been looking out for it, though I knew not whence a shilling was to come. This morning brother T. called on me, and, as no money had come in, we prayed together, and continued in supplication from ten till a quarter to twelve. Twelve o’clock struck, the time when the rent ought to have been paid, but no money had been sent. For some days past I have repeatedly had a misgiving, whether the Lord might not disappoint us, in order that we might be led to provide by the week, or the day, for the rent. This is the second, and only the second, complete failure as to answers of prayer in the work, during the past four years and six months. The first was about the half-yearly rent of Castle-Green school-rooms, due July 1, 1837, which had come in only in part by that time. I am now fully convinced that the rent ought to be put by daily or weekly, as God may prosper us, in order that the work, even as to this point, may be a testimony. May the Lord, then, help us to act accordingly, and may he now mercifully send in the means to pay the rent!
Oct. 2. Tuesday evening. The Lord’s holy name be praised! He hath dealt most bountifully with us during the last three days! The day before yesterday five pounds came in for the orphans. O, how kind is the Lord! Always before there has been actual want he has sent help. Yesterday came in one pound ten shillings more. Thus the expenses of yesterday for housekeeping were defrayed. The Lord helped me also to pay yesterday the nineteen pounds ten shillings for the rent. The means for it were thus obtained: One of the laborers had received through his family ten pounds, and five pounds besides from a sister in the Lord; also some other money. Of this he gave sixteen pounds, which, with the three pounds ten shillings that was left of the above-mentioned five pounds, made up nineteen pounds ten shillings, the sum which was needed. This day we were again greatly reduced. There was no money in hand to take in bread, as usual, for the Boys’ and Infant Orphan Houses. But again the Lord helped. A sister who had arrived this afternoon from Swansea brought one pound seven shillings, and one of the laborers sold an article, by means of which he was able to give one pound thirteen shillings. Thus we had three pounds,—one pound for each house,—and could buy bread before the day was over. Hitherto we have lacked nothing!
Oct. 9. To-day we were brought lower than ever. The provisions would have lasted out only to-day, and the money for milk in one of the houses could only be made up by one of the laborers selling one of his books. The matron in the Boys’ Orphan House had this morning two shillings left. When in doubt whether to buy bread with it, or more meat, to make up the dinner with the meat which she had in the house, the baker called, and left three quarterns of bread as a present. In this great need, some money having been given to one of the laborers, he gave two pounds of it, by which we were able to buy meat, bread, and other provisions.
Oct. 10. The coals in the Infant Orphan House are out, and nearly so in the other two houses. Also the treacle casks in all the three houses are nearly empty. On this account we have asked the Lord for fresh supplies.
Oct. 11. The “Father of the fatherless” has again shown his care over us. An orphan from Devonshire arrived last evening. With her was sent two pounds five shillings and sixpence. The sister who brought her gave also a silver tea-pot, sugar-basin, and cream-jug, of the weight of forty-eight ounces, having found true riches in Christ. There was also in the boxes nine shillings. One of the laborers paid for a ton of coals. We obtained sixteen pounds sixteen shillings for the silver articles. Thus we were helped through the heavy expenses of the following days.
Oct. 12. To-day seven brethren and sisters were added to us in fellowship, and eight were proposed. May the Lord send helpers for the work!
Oct. 15. I knew that there would be money needed this morning for many things in the Orphan Houses, and my heart was therefore lifted up to the Lord. Just when I was going to meet my fellow-laborers for prayer, I received from Trowbridge four pounds. There had come in also at the Orphan Houses seven shillings and threepence. To this one of the laborers added one pound. Thus I was enabled abundantly to supply all that was wanted, and to pay for a cask of treacle and a ton of coals. We are now, however, cast again on the love of our Lord for further supplies, as there is neither anything in hand, nor have the laborers any more of their own to give.
Oct. 16. I was looking up to the Lord for help early this morning, when, almost immediately afterwards, brother T. came, and brought two silver tablespoons and six teaspoons, which had been left anonymously, yesterday afternoon, at the Girls’ Orphan House. This afternoon I received twelve pounds from Staffordshire.
Oct. 22. To-day our funds were again quite low. In the Infant Orphan House only twopence was left, and very little in the other two houses. But the Lord most manifestly again answered prayer, by sending four pounds three shillings and one penny.
Oct. 27. Thanks to our adorable Lord! this day also we have not been confounded; for there was six shillings in the box at the Infant Orphan House, and six shillings came in for things which had been given to be sold. To this one of the laborers added eighteen shillings. By means of this one pound ten shillings we have been able to meet all pressing demands, and to procure provisions for to-day and to-morrow.
Oct. 29. Monday. The Lord has again given us this day our daily bread, though in the morning there was not the least natural prospect of obtaining supplies.
Oct. 30. This has been again a day of peculiar mercies in reference to the funds. Whilst I was in prayer respecting them a brother brought two and a quarter yards of cloth. He had bought it for himself; but afterwards, considering that he had sufficient clothes, he gave it to be sold for the orphans. This evening a sister gave me twenty pounds, ten of which were for the Orphans, and ten for the other objects.
Nov. 7. The funds are now again completely exhausted.
Nov. 10. Saturday. All seemed to be dark, so far as regards natural appearances, at the commencement of this day. But the Lord has helped us, and enabled us to meet all demands. We were brought to the close of one more week, having been able to supply the necessities of ninety-seven persons in the Orphan Houses, without owing anything.
Nov. 13. This morning our want was again great. I have twenty pounds in hand which has been put by for rent, but, for the Lord’s honor, I would not take of it. Nothing had come in, and the laborers had scarcely anything to give. I went, however, to the Orphan Houses, to pray with my fellow-laborers, and, if it might be, to comfort them, and see what could be done. When I came there I found that nineteen shillings and sixpence had come in this morning. On inquiry I heard that only two shillings and sixpence more was needed to carry us through the day. This one of the laborers was able to add of his own. Thus the Lord has again helped us out of our difficulty. One of the laborers gave some things which he could do without, and another gave a workbox to be sold for the orphans. Before this day has come to an end, the Lord has sent in one pound two shillings and fourpence more, so that we have also a little for to-morrow.
Nov. 20. To-day our need was exceedingly great, but the Lord’s help was great also. I went to meet with the brethren and sisters as usual. I found that one pound would be needed to supply the necessities of to-day, but three shillings only had come in. Just when we were going to pray, one of the laborers came in, who, after prayer, gave ten shillings. Whilst we were praying, another laborer came in, who had received one pound. Thus we had one pound thirteen shillings,—even more, therefore, than was absolutely needed.
Nov. 21. Never were we so reduced in funds as to-day. There was not a single halfpenny in hand between the matrons of the three houses. Nevertheless, there was a good dinner, and by managing so as to help one another with bread, etc., there was a prospect of getting over this day also; but for none of the houses had we the prospect of being able to take in bread. When I left the brethren and sisters at one o’clock, after prayer, I told them that we must wait for help, and see how the Lord would deliver us at this time. I was sure of help, but we were indeed straitened. When I came to Kingsdown, I felt that I needed more exercise, being very cold, wherefore I went not the nearest way home, but round by Clarence-place. About twenty yards from my house I met a brother, who walked back with me, and after a little conversation gave me ten pounds to be handed over to the brethren, the deacons, towards providing the poor saints with coals, blankets, and warm clothing; also five pounds for the orphans, and five pounds for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. The brother had called twice while I was gone to the Orphan Houses, and had I now been one half minute later I should have missed him. But the Lord knew our need, and therefore allowed me to meet him.
Nov. 24. This again has been a very remarkable day. We had as little in hand this morning as at any time, and yet several pounds were needed. But God, who is rich in mercy, and whose word so positively declares that none who trust in him shall be confounded, has helped us through this day also. While I was in prayer, about ten in the morning, respecting the funds, I was informed that a gentleman had called to see me. He came to inform me that a lady had ordered three sacks of potatoes to be sent to the Orphan Houses. Never could they have come more seasonably. This was an encouragement to me to continue to expect help. When I came to the prayer meeting, about twelve o’clock, I heard that two shillings had come in, also one pound for a guitar, which had been given for sale. The payment for this guitar had been expected for many weeks. It had been mentioned among us repeatedly that it might come just at a time when we most needed it; and O, how true! But with all this we could not have put by the rents for this week, amounting to thirty shillings. One of the laborers therefore gave his watch to the orphan fund, under this condition, that should the Lord not enable us before December 21 to make up this deficiency, it should be sold, but not otherwise, as he needs it in the Lord’s service. [A few days after the Lord gave the means to put by the thirty shillings, and thirty shillings besides for the next week’s rent.] Thus the Lord helped us through this day, and with it brought us to the close of one more week.
Nov. 28. This is perhaps of all days the most remarkable as yet, so far as it regards the funds. When I was in prayer this morning respecting them, I was enabled firmly to believe that the Lord would send help, though all seemed dark as to natural appearances. At twelve o’clock I met as usual with the brethren and sisters for prayer. There had come in only one shilling, which was left last evening anonymously at the Infant Orphan House, and which, except twopence, had already been spent, on account of the great need. I heard also that an individual had gratuitously cleaned the timepiece in the Infant Orphan House, and had offered to keep the timepieces in the three houses in repair. Thus the Lord gave even in this a little encouragement, and a proof that he is still mindful of us. On inquiry, I found that there was everything needful for the dinner in all the three houses; but neither in the Infant nor Boys’ Orphan Houses was there bread enough for tea, nor money to buy milk. Lower we had never been, and perhaps never so low. We gave ourselves now unitedly to prayer, laying the case in simplicity before the Lord. Whilst in prayer there was a knock at the door, and one of the sisters went out. After the two brethren who labor in the Orphan Houses and I had prayed aloud, we continued for a while silently in prayer. As to myself, I was lifting up my heart to the Lord to make a way for our escape, and in order to know if there were any other thing which I could do with a good conscience, besides waiting on him, so that we might have food for the children. At last we rose from our knees. I said, “God will surely send help.” The words had not quite passed over my lips, when I perceived a letter lying on the table, which had been brought whilst we were in prayer. It was from my wife, containing another letter from a brother with ten pounds for the orphans. The evening before last I was asked by a brother whether the balance in hand for the orphans would be as great this time, when the accounts would be made up, as the last time. My answer was that it would be as great as the Lord pleased. The next morning this brother was moved to remember the orphans, and to send to-day ten pounds, which arrived after I had left my house, and which, on account of our need, was forwarded immediately to me. The brother who sent the ten pounds for the orphans sent likewise ten pounds to be divided between brother Craik and me, with the object of purchasing new clothes for ourselves.
Nov. 29. The Lord has greatly blessed our meetings for prayer. They have been instrumental in leading us to much prayer for the children in the Orphan Houses, in the day schools, and in the Sunday school. They have led us to prayer for ourselves, for the day-school teachers, and for the Sunday-school teachers, that grace may be given to us so to walk before the children, and so to deal with them, as that the Lord may be glorified by us. We have also often been led to intercede for the believers with whom we are in fellowship, and for the church at large. We have especially prayed that our work may lead the church generally to a more simple confidence and trust in the Lord. That these meetings have not been in vain, as regards the procuring of funds, has been already sufficiently seen by the many instances which have been recorded in the foregoing pages. To-day, however, we have had another particular proof of this. When we met I found that ten shillings had come in yesterday afternoon. When I returned home I found one pound had come in, and shortly after I received another pound. In the evening I received fifty pounds, which was sent from Suffolk by a sister who had often expressed how gladly she would contribute more largely to the work which is in our hands had she the means, and who just now, in this our time of need, has obtained the means to carry out the desire of her heart. I rejoice in the last donation particularly, not because of the largeness of the sum, but because it enables me to pay to my brethren and sisters in the Orphan Houses the salary which is due to them.
Dec. 6. This afternoon I received one hundred pounds from a sister,—fifty for the orphans, and fifty for the school, Bible, and missionary fund. This same sister, who earns her bread with her own hands, had given, on October 5, 1837, fifty pounds towards the Boys’ Orphan House, and gave for the necessities of the poor saints, in August, 1838, one hundred pounds more; for she had been made willing to act out those precious exhortations: “Having food and raiment, let us be therewith content.” “Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.” “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.” Respecting the fifty pounds which has been given of this sum for the school, Bible, and missionary fund, it is worthy of remark, that we would not order reference Bibles till we had the means. We had repeatedly prayed respecting this want of Bibles, and particularly again this morning. It had been also much laid on our hearts to-day to request that the Lord would enable us to have the Report printed, which we could not do unless he first sent the means. Lastly, we had also repeatedly asked him to supply us so largely, if it were his will, as that at the time of the public meetings we might be able to speak again of abundance. For though for some months past the time has been fixed for the public meetings, without any reference to the state of the funds, nevertheless, it might have had the appearance that we had convened the brethren for the sake of telling them about our poverty, and thus to induce them to give.
Dec. 11, 12, and 13. On the evenings of these three days there were public meetings, at which I gave an account of the Lord’s dealing with us in reference to the Orphan Houses and the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. As the work, and particularly that of the Orphan Houses, was begun for the benefit of the church at large, it appeared well to us that from time to time it should be publicly stated how the Lord had dealt with us in reference to it; and as, on Dec. 9, the third year had been completed since the commencement of the orphan work, this seemed to be a suitable time for having these meetings.
I notice briefly the following particulars respecting the first three objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. 1. There is at present—December, 1838—a Sunday school supported by it, which contains four hundred and sixty-three children. This part of the work calls for particular thanksgiving; for during these last eighteen months the number of the children has been nearly three times as great as it used to be. Five of the scholars have been converted within the last two years, and are now in fellowship with the church, and three of them are teachers in the school. 2. There is in connection with the Institution an adult school, in which, since the commencement of the work, above one hundred and twenty adults have been instructed, and in which at present twelve are taught to read. 3. The Institution has entirely supported, since its commencement, several day schools for poor children, and within the last two years six of such,—three for boys and three for girls. The number of all the children that have had schooling in the day schools through the medium of the Institution, since its formation, amounts to 1,534; the number of those at present in the six day schools is 342. 4. During the last two years there have been circulated 1,884 copies of the Scriptures in connection with the Institution, and since the beginning of the work, March 5, 1834, 5,078 copies. 5. For missionary purposes have been laid out £74, 18s. 4d. 6. The total of the income for the first three objects, during the last two years, was £1,129, 13s. 1d.; the total of the expense, £1,111, 13s. 7½d.
There are, at present, 86 orphans in the three houses, i. e. 31 in the Girls’ Orphan House, 31 in the Infant Orphan House, and 24 in the Boys’ Orphan House. The whole number of orphans who have been under our care from April 11, 1836, to Dec. 9, 1838, amounts to 110.
The total of the income for the orphans, from Dec. 9, 1836, to Dec. 9, 1838, has amounted to £1,341, 4s. 7d.; the total of the expenses to £1,664, 4s. 0¾d. There was two years ago a balance of £373, 4s. 8¼d. in hand, and now the balance is £50, 5s. 3d.
Dec. 16. There was a paper anonymously put into the box at Bethesda Chapel containing four pounds ten shillings. In the paper was written, “For the rent of the Orphan Houses, from Dec. 10 to Dec. 31, 1838. ‘O, taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him!’” In order that the reader may be able to enter into the value of this donation, I would request him to read over once more what I wrote under “Sept. 29” of this year. [The individual who gave this four pounds ten shillings for the rent of the Orphan Houses for the first three weeks after the public meetings, at which the matter about the rent, for the instruction of the brethren, was fully stated, continued for three years, up to Dec. 10, 1841, to give regularly, but anonymously, one pound ten shillings a week for the same purpose, which was exactly the sum required every week for the rent of those three houses. Thus the Lord rewarded our faithfulness in carrying out the light which he had given us. But the chief blessing resulting from this circumstance I consider to be this,—that several brethren, who earn their bread by the labor of their hands, have learned through this circumstance that it is the will of the Lord they should lay by their rent weekly. I beseech those brethren who are not pursuing this course to do so, and they will soon prove by experience the benefit of acting on scriptural principles even as it regards this life.]
Dec. 17. To-day eleven brethren and sisters were proposed for fellowship.
Dec. 20. As the expenses for the orphans have been above forty-seven pounds within the last six days, and as but little above thirteen pounds has come in, and as the money for printing the Report had to be kept back, in order that we might not be in debt, we were again to-day very low in funds, though it is but six days since the public meetings. As I knew that to-morrow several pounds would be needed to supply the matrons, I gave myself this morning to prayer. About a quarter of an hour afterwards I received three pounds, the payment of a legacy left by a sister, who fell asleep in Jesus several months since, in Ireland. Besides this I received from the brother through whom the legacy was paid, two pounds ten shillings for the orphan fund. With this five pounds ten shillings I hope to be able to meet the expenses of to-morrow.
Dec. 22. A solemn day. I received to-day the information that my brother died on October 7. “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” must be the stay of the believer at such a time, and, by grace, it is my stay now. I know that the Lord is glorified in my brother, whatever his end has been. May the Lord make this event a lasting blessing to me, especially in leading me to earnestness in prayer for my father!
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1838.
1. As to the church. There are 405 at present in fellowship with us; 61 having been added last year, of whom 36 have been brought among us to the knowledge of the truth.
2. As to my temporal supplies. The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year £350, 4s. 8d.
During no period of my life had I such need of means, on account of my own long illness and that of my dear wife, and on account of the many and particular calls for means, as during the past year; but also during no period of my life has the Lord so richly supplied me. Truly, it must be manifest to all that I have served a most kind Master, during this year also, and that, even for this life, it is by far the best thing to seek to act according to the mind of the Lord as to temporal things!
CHAPTER XI.
ASKING AND RECEIVING.
1839.
HELP FOR THE POOR SAINTS—THE UNFAILING BANK—MEANS EXHAUSTED—LIBERALITY OF A LABORING SISTER—“HE KNOWETH OUR FRAME”—REDEEMING THE TIME—GODLINESS PROFITABLE UNTO ALL THINGS.
January 1, 2, and 3, 1839. We have had three especial church prayer meetings these three days. The year commenced with mercies. In the first hour of the year there came in for the orphans two pounds seven shillings, which was given after our usual prayer meeting on December 31, which this time lasted from seven in the evening till after midnight.
Jan. 5. To-day I received another new hat, the eleventh which in succession has been given to me since I have been in England.
Jan. 20. For some time past it has appeared to me that the words, “Ye have the poor with you always, and whensoever ye will ye may do them good,” which the Lord spoke to his disciples, who were themselves very poor, imply that the children of God, as such, have power with God to bring temporal blessings upon poor saints or poor unbelievers through the instrumentality of prayer. Accordingly, I have been led to ask the Lord for means to assist poor saints; and at different times he has stirred up his children to intrust me with sums, both large and small, for that especial object; or has, by some means or other, put money at my disposal, which I might so use. In like manner I had been asking again for means, a few days since, to be able more extensively to assist the poor saints in communion with us, as just now many of them are not merely tried by the usual temporal difficulties arising from its being winter, but especially from the high price of bread. And now this evening the Lord has given me the answer to my prayer. When I came home from the meeting I found a brother at my house who offered to give me ten pounds a week, for twelve weeks, towards providing the poor saints with coals and needful articles of clothing, but chiefly with bread. [Accordingly, this brother sent me, two days afterwards, one hundred and twenty pounds, whereby very many, especially poor widows, were greatly assisted, chiefly with flour and bread. This money just lasted till the price of bread was reduced from ninepence halfpenny to sevenpence halfpenny.]
Feb. 7. This day has been one of the most remarkable days as it regards the funds. There was no money in hand. I was waiting upon God. I had asked him repeatedly, but no supplies came. Brother T. called, between eleven and twelve o’clock, to tell me that about one pound two shillings would be needed, to take in bread for the three houses and to meet the other expenses; but we had only two shillings ninepence, which yesterday had been taken out of the boxes in the Orphan Houses. He went to Clifton to make arrangements for the reception of the three orphans of our sister Loader, who fell asleep on the 4th; for, though we have no funds in hand, the work goes on, and our confidence is not diminished. I therefore requested him to call, on his way back from Clifton, to see whether the Lord might have sent any money in the mean time. When he came I had received nothing, but one of the laborers, having five shillings of his own, gave it. It was now four o’clock. I knew not how the sisters had got through the day. Toward the close of the day I went to the Girls’ Orphan House, to meet with the brethren for prayer. When I arrived there I found that a box had come for me from Barnstable. The carriage was paid, else there would have been no money to pay for it. (See how the Lord’s hand is in the smallest matters!) The box was opened, and it contained, in a letter from a sister, ten pounds, of which eight pounds was for the orphans, and two pounds for the Bible Fund; from brethren at Barnstable, two pounds eleven shillings twopence; and from another brother, five shillings. Besides this, there were in the box four yards of merino, three pairs of new shoes, two pairs of new socks; also six books for sale; likewise a gold pencil-case, two gold rings, two gold drops of earrings, a necklace, and a silver pencil-case. On inquiry how the sisters had been carried through the day, I found it thus: Everything was in the houses which was needed for dinner. After dinner a lady from Thornbury came and bought one of my Narratives and one of the Reports, and gave three shillings besides. About five minutes afterwards the baker came to the Boys’ Orphan House. The matron of the Girls’ Orphan House seeing him, went immediately with the six shillings sixpence which she had just received (to prevent his being sent away, as there was no money in hand at the Boys’ Orphan House), and bought bread to the amount of four shillings sixpence. The two remaining shillings, with the little which was in hand, served to buy bread for the Girls’ Orphan House. By the donations sent in the box I was enabled to give a rich supply to the matrons before the close of the day.
February 13. This evening five pounds was given me, which had come in under the following circumstances: A gentleman and lady visited the Orphan Houses, and met at the Boys’ Orphan House two ladies who were likewise visiting. One of the ladies said to the matron of the Boys’ Orphan House, “Of course you cannot carry on these Institutions without a good stock of funds.” The gentleman, turning to the matron, said, “Have you a good stock?” She replied, “Our funds are deposited in a bank which cannot break.” The tears came into the eyes of the inquiring lady. The gentleman, on leaving, gave to the master of the boys five pounds, which came in when I had not a penny in hand.
March 5. To-day, however, I knew that there would be again several pounds required, as, besides the daily provisions, there were coals needed, the treacle casks in two houses were empty, and there was but five shillings in hand. I gave myself therefore to prayer this morning. Whilst I was in prayer Q. Q. sent a check for seven pounds ten shillings.
March 23. To-day I received a letter from brother T., who is, on account of his health, in Devonshire, to inform me that a heavy gold chain, a ring set with ten brilliants, a pair of gold bracelets, and two pounds, have been given to him. He gave a Report to a brother, who, having read it, was thereby stirred up to prayer, and knowing that his believing sister possessed these trinkets, he asked the Lord to incline her heart to give them up for the benefit of our orphans, which she soon after did. By means of these donations I am able both to meet the remaining expenses of this week, and also to pay fifteen pounds, which still remains due on account of the salaries. My fellow-laborers not only never ask me for anything, but are willing to part with money, or anything else, in the hour of need; nevertheless, I asked the Lord about this point frequently, and he has now given me my request, whereof I am glad.
April 13. I conversed with another of the orphans, who seems to have been truly converted, and who has walked consistently for many months. To-morrow she will be united with the saints in communion.
April 14. To-day five pounds eightpence came in for the orphans, one pound of which is one of the most remarkable gifts that we have ever had. A poor brother, with a large family and small wages,—there are eight in the family, and he had fifteen shillings wages till lately, when they were raised to eighteen shillings—put by this money by little and little of what was given him by his master for beer. This brother, who was converted about five years ago, was before that time a notorious drunkard.
July 2. To-day was given to me, when there was not one shilling in hand, fifty pounds, for the school, Bible, and missionary fund.
July 15. Monday. To-day two pounds seven shillings threepence was needed for the orphans, but we had nothing. How to obtain the means for a dinner, and for what else was needed, I knew not. My heart was perfectly at peace, and unusually sure of help, though I knew not in the least whence it was to come. Before brother T. came, I received a letter from India, written in May, with an order for fifty pounds for the orphans. I had said last Saturday to brother T. that it would be desirable to have fifty pounds, as the salaries of all my fellow-laborers are due, the three treacle casks empty, all the provision stores exhausted, several articles of clothing needed, and worsted for the boys to go on with their knitting.
August 19. Monday. This has been again a day in which our faith has been particularly tried; but even this day we have not been confounded. Not one penny was in hand when the day began. We had, therefore, now, for more than one hundred persons, again to look to the Lord. But this I must say, to the praise of the Lord, my soul was perfectly at peace. I meant to have gone very early to the Orphan Houses to meet with my fellow-laborers for prayer; but as one person after the other called upon me, I was kept from it the whole morning. When brother T. called upon me, between twelve and one o’clock, for money, I had none to give. In the afternoon at four I was able to meet with the brethren and sisters. When I came to the Girls’ Orphan House, I found that one of those children, for the reception of whom we had given notice, had been brought from Bath, and with him was sent one pound five shillings. After the meeting was over one of the laborers gave ten shillings. By means of this one pound fifteen shillings we were able for this day also to provide everything needful.
August 22. In my morning walk, when I was reminding the Lord of our need, I felt assured that he would send help this day. My assurance sprang from our need; for there seemed no way to get through the day without help being sent. After breakfast I considered whether there was anything which might be turned into money for the dear children. Among other things there came under my hands a number of religious pamphlets which had been given for the benefit of the orphans; but all seemed not nearly enough to meet the necessities of the day. In this our deep poverty, after I had gathered together the few things for sale, a sister, who earns her bread by the labor of her hands, brought eighty-two pounds. This sister had seen it to be binding upon believers in our Lord Jesus to act out his commandments: “Sell that ye have (sell your possessions) and give alms,” Luke xii. 33; and “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth,” Matt. vi. 19. Accordingly, she had drawn her money out of the bank and stocks, being two hundred and fifty pounds, and had brought it to me at three different times, for the benefit of the orphans, the Bible, missionary, and school fund, and the poor saints. About two months ago she brought me one hundred pounds more, being the produce of some other possession which she had sold, the half of which was to be used for the school Bible, and missionary fund, and the other half for the poor saints. This eighty-two pounds which she has brought to-day is the produce of the sale of her last earthly possession. [At the time I am preparing this fifth edition for the press, more than sixteen years have passed away, and this sister has never expressed the least regret as to the step she took, but goes on quietly laboring with her hands to earn her bread.]
September 4. I have been led to pray whether it is the Lord’s will that I should leave Bristol for a season, as I have for the last fortnight been suffering from indigestion, by which my whole system is weakened, and thus the nerves of my head are more than usually affected. There are, however, two hindrances in the way—want of means for the orphans, and want of means for my own personal expenses. To-day I have received a check from Q. Q. for seven pounds ten shillings for the orphans, which came, therefore, very seasonably. Also four pounds besides have come in since the day before yesterday.
September 5. To-day a sister sent me five pounds for myself, to be used for the benefit of my health. She had heard that my health is again failing. I do not lay by money for such purposes; but whenever I really need means, whether for myself or others, the Lord sends them, in answer to prayer; for he had in this case again given me prayer respecting means for myself, and for the orphans, that my way might be made plain as to leaving Bristol for a season.
September 7. Trowbridge. This has been a very good day. I have had much communion with the Lord. How kind to take me from the work in Bristol for a season, to give me more communion with himself. I remembered the Lord’s especial goodness to me in this place at the commencement of last year. How kind has he also been since! I prayed much for myself, for the church at large, for the saints here and in Bristol, for my unconverted relatives, for my dear wife, and that the Lord would supply my own temporal necessities, and those of the orphans; and I know that he has heard me. I am surrounded with kind friends in the dear saints, under whose roof I am, and feel quite at home. My room is far better than I need: yet an easy chair, in this my weak state of body, to kneel before in prayer, would have added to my comfort. In the afternoon, without having a hint about it, I found an easy chair put into my room. I was struck with the kindness, the especial kindness of my heavenly Father, in being mindful of the smallest wants and comforts of his child. Having had more prayer than usual, I found that my intercourse with the saints at tea was with unction, and more than usually profitable.
September 9. I returned to Bristol, to go from hence to-morrow to Exeter, if the Lord permit, on account of my health. I had been earnestly asking the Lord while I was staying at Trowbridge that he would be pleased to send in supplies for the orphans before I go into Devonshire, and I had the fullest assurance that means would come in before I left Bristol. I therefore asked my wife, on my return, how much had come in, and found that it was only eight pounds nine shillings seven and three-fourths pence. This was not nearly as much as I had expected, and would not answer the end for which I had particularly asked means, i. e. that I might be able to leave enough for several days. My reply, therefore, was according to the faith given to me, and judging from the earnestness and confidence of my prayer that the Lord would send more before I left. About an hour after, brother Craik brought me ten pounds, and also a letter, in which the arrival of a large box full of articles, to be sold for the benefit of the orphans, is announced.
Upon his return from his journey, Mr. M. writes:—
During my stay at Plymouth, I was stirred up afresh to early rising, a blessing, the results of which I have not lost since. That which led me to it was the example of the brother in whose house I was staying, and a remark which he made in speaking on the sacrifices in Leviticus, “that as not the refuse of the animals was to be offered up, so the best part of our time should be especially given to communion with the Lord.” I had been, on the whole, rather an early riser during former years. But since the nerves of my head had been so weak, I thought that, as the day was long enough for my strength, it would be best for me not to rise early, in order that thus the nerves of my head might have the longer quiet. On this account I rose only between six and seven, and sometimes after seven. For the same reason also I brought myself purposely into the habit of sleeping a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, after dinner: as I thought I found benefit from it, in quieting the nerves of my head. In this way, however, my soul had suffered more or less every day, and sometimes considerably, as now and then unavoidable work came upon me before I had had sufficient time for prayer and reading the word. After I had heard the remark to which I have alluded, I determined that, whatever my body might suffer, I would no longer let the most precious part of the day pass away while I was in bed. By the grace of God I was enabled to begin the very next day to rise earlier; and have continued to rise early since that time. I allow myself now about seven hours’ sleep, which, though I am far from being strong, and have much to tire me mentally, I find is quite sufficient to refresh me. In addition to this I gave up the sleeping after dinner. The result has been that I have thus been able to procure long and precious seasons for prayer and meditation before breakfast; and as to my body, and the state of the nervous system in particular, I have been much better since. Indeed, I believe that the very worst thing I could have done for my weak nerves was to have lain an hour or more longer in bed than I used to do before my illness; for it was the very way to keep them weak. As this may fall into the hands of some children of God who are not in the habit of rising early, I make a few more remarks on the subject.
I. It might be asked, How much time shall I allow myself for rest? The answer is, that no rule of universal application can be given, as all persons do not require the same measure of sleep, and also the same persons, at different times, according to the strength or weakness of their body, may require more or less. Females also, being generally weaker in body, require more sleep than males. Yet, from what I can learn, it is the opinion of medical persons that men in health do not require more than between six and seven hours’ sleep, and females no more than between seven and eight hours; so that it would be rather an exception for a man to require more than seven and a woman more than eight hours. But my decided advice, at the same time, is, that children of God would be careful not to allow themselves too little sleep, as there are few men who can do with less than six hours’ sleep, and yet be well in body and mind, and few females who can do with less than seven hours. Certain it is that for a long time, as a young man, before I went to the university, I went to bed regularly at ten and rose at four, studied hard, and was in good health; and certain also, that since I have allowed myself only about seven hours, from the time of my visit at Plymouth in Oct. 1839, I have been much better in body, and in my nerves in particular, than when I was eight or eight hours and a half in bed.
II. If it be asked, But why should I rise early? The reply is, “To remain too long in bed” is, 1. Waste of time, which is unbecoming a saint, who is bought by the precious blood of Jesus, with his time and all he has, to be used for the Lord. If we sleep more than is needful for the refreshment of the body, it is wasting the time with which the Lord has intrusted us as a talent, to be used for his glory, for our own benefit, and the benefit of the saints and the unbelievers around us. 2. To remain too long in bed injures the body. Just as when we take too much food, we are injured thereby, so as it regards sleep. Medical persons would readily allow that the lying longer in bed than is needful for the strengthening of the body does weaken it. 3. It injures the soul. The lying too long in bed not merely keeps us from giving the most precious part of the day to prayer and meditation, but this sloth leads also to many other evils. Any one need but make the experiment of spending one, two, or three hours in prayer and meditation before breakfast, either in his room, or with his Bible in his hand in the fields, and he will soon find out the beneficial effect which early rising has upon the outward and inward man. I beseech all my brethren and sisters into whose hands this may fall, and who are not in the habit of rising early, to make the trial, and they will praise the Lord for having done so.
III. It may lastly be said, But how shall I set about rising early? My advice is, 1. Commence at once, delay it not. To-morrow begin to rise. 2. But do not depend upon your own strength. This may be the reason why before this you may have begun to rise early, but have given it up. As surely as you depend upon your own strength in this matter, it will come to nothing. In every good work we depend upon the Lord, and in this thing we shall feel especially how weak we are. If any one rises that he may give the time which he takes from sleep to prayer and meditation, let him be sure that Satan will try to put obstacles into the way. 3. Do trust in the Lord for help. You will honor him if you expect help from him in this matter. Give yourself to prayer for help, expect help, and you will have it. 4. Use, however, in addition to this, the following means: a. Go early to bed. If you stay up late, you cannot rise early. Let no society and no pressure of engagements keep you from going habitually early to bed. If you fail in this, you neither can nor ought to get up early, as your body requires rest. Keep also particularly in mind, that neither for the body nor soul is it the same thing whether you go to bed late and rise late, or whether you go to bed early and rise early. Even medical persons will tell you how injurious it is to sit up late, and to spend the morning hours in bed; but how much more important still is it to retire early and to rise early, in order to make sure of time for prayer and meditation before the business of the day commences, and to devote to those exercises that part of our time when the mind and the body are most fresh, in order thus to obtain spiritual strength for the conflict, the trials, and the work of the day. b. Let some one call you, if possible, at the time which you have determined before God that you will rise; or procure, what is still better, an alarum, by which you may regulate almost to a minute the time when you wish to rise. For about twelve shillings a little German clock with an alarum may be bought almost in every town. Though I have very many times been awakened by the Lord, in answer to prayer, almost to the minute when I desired to rise; yet I thought it well to procure an alarum to assist me in my purpose of rising early: not indeed as if it could give the least help, without the Lord’s blessing, for I should remain in bed notwithstanding the noise of the alarum, were he not to give me grace to rise; but simply looking upon it as a means. c. Rise at once when you are awake. Remain not a minute longer in bed, else you are likely to fall asleep again. d. Be not discouraged by feeling drowsy and tired in consequence of your rising early. This will soon wear off. You will after a few days feel yourself stronger and fresher than when you used to lie an hour or two longer than you needed. e. Allow yourself always the same hours for sleep. Make no change except sickness oblige you.
On December 10, 11, and 12 we had public meetings, at which the account of the Lord’s dealings with us in reference to the Orphan Houses and the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution was given. It is now—December 10, 1839—five years and nine months since the Scriptural Knowledge Institution has been in operation.
During the last year also. 1. We have been enabled to continue to provide all the needful expenses connected with the six-day schools, three for boys and three for girls. The number of the children who are at present in them amounts to 286. The number of all the children that have had schooling in the day schools, through the medium of the Institution, since its formation, amounts to 1,795. 2. There are at present 226 children in the Sunday school. 3. There are 14 taught to read in the adult school, and there have been about 130 adults instructed in that school since the formation of the Institution. 4. There have been circulated, during the last year, 514 copies of the Scriptures, and 5,592 since March 5, 1834. 5. There has been laid out, during the last year, £91, 6s. for missionary purposes. 6. There have been received into the three Orphan Houses, from December 9, 1838, to December 9, 1839, 16 orphans. There are at present 96 orphans in the three houses. The number of all the orphans who have been under our care from April 11, 1836, to December 9, 1839, amounts to 126.
For the Orphan Houses, without any one having been asked for anything by us, the sum of £3,067, 8s. 9¼d. has been given, entirely as the result of prayer to God, from the commencement of the work up to December 9, 1839.
The total of the expenses connected with the objects of the Institution, exclusive of the Orphan Houses, from November 19, 1838, to November 19, 1839, is £542, 13s. The balance in hand on November 19, 1839, was 18s. 5d.
The total of the expenses connected with the three Orphan Houses, from December 9, 1838, to December 9, 1839, is £960, 9s. 2¾d. The balance in hand on December 9, 1839, was £46, 8s. 1d.
December 31. My health is much better than for years. My mental powers also are as good as they have been at any time during the last three years. I ascribe this to God’s blessing, through the instrumentality of early rising, and plunging my head into cold water when I rise.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1839.
1. As to the church: During the last year have been added 115; of whom 34 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
2. As to my temporal supplies, the Lord has been pleased to give me, during the past year, £313, 2s. 5d.
CHAPTER XII.
PLENTY AND WANT.
1840.
A PURE OFFERING REQUIRED—A JOURNEY PROPOSED—SEASONABLE PROVISION—LOOKING ONLY TO THE LORD—THE WRATH OF MAN PRAISING GOD—A PROMISE FULFILLED—BENEFIT OF TRIAL—NEW SPRINGS OPENED—BEFORE THEY CALL I WILL ANSWER—TRUST IN GOD COMMENDED—SPIRITUAL BLESSINGS.
January 1, 1840. This morning, about one hour after midnight, I received a paper with some money sealed up in it for the orphans. A few minutes afterwards, I remembered that the individual who gave it was in debt, and I was aware that she had been repeatedly asked by her creditors for payment. I resolved, therefore, without opening the paper, to return it, as no one has a right to give whilst in debt. This was done when I knew that there was not enough in hand to meet the expenses of the day. About eight, this morning, a brother brought five pounds, which he had received just then from his mother, for the orphans. Observe, the brother is led to bring it at once!
January 25. I have been much in prayer this week about going to Germany: 1. To see certain brethren who purpose to go as missionaries to the East Indies; and, 2. To see my father once more. I am led to go just now, instead of delaying it, because my health is again so failing that it seems desirable I should leave Bristol at all events; and thus I could continue to serve in the work of the Lord, and yet attend to the benefit of my health at the same time. Lord, keep me from making a mistake in this matter!
January 31. There is only one shilling fivepence in hand. The Lord will provide! I feel quite comfortable, though in three days I shall have to leave the work for several weeks. After I had written the above, I received sixteen pounds for the orphans, and twenty-four pounds for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Thus Lord will kindly allow me to leave a little money behind on my departure, and I have also a still further answer to my prayer for means to purchase Bibles, for which I have asked the Lord repeatedly, and which he began to answer by the donation which I received on the 22d. I have received five pounds, besides, for the other objects.
Feb. 2. To-day and yesterday has come in still further, before my departure, nearly nine pounds for the orphans. How kind of the Lord to send this money just now, on the eve of my leaving home!
Mr. Müller’s absence lasted from Feb. 3 to March 9. Under the latter date he writes:—
During the whole time of my absence the Lord not only supplied all the need of the orphans, but on my return I found more in hand than there was when I left. The donations, which came in during my absence, amount to between eighty and ninety pounds.
March 26. On the 17th of this month I received the following letter from a brother who several times had been used by the Lord as an instrument in supplying our need, and who also, two months since, sent thirty pounds.
“I have received a little money from ——. Have you any present need for the Institution under your care? I know you do not ask, except indeed of Him whose work you are doing; but to answer when asked seems another thing, and a right thing. I have a reason for desiring to know the present state of your means towards the objects you are laboring to serve, viz. should you not have need, other departments of the Lord’s work, or other people of the Lord, may have need. Kindly then inform me, and to what amount, i. e. what amount you at this present time need, or can profitably lay out.”
At the time when this letter came we were indeed in need. Nevertheless, I considered that, as I have hitherto acted (i. e. telling the Lord alone about our need), I ought to continue to do, as otherwise the principal object of the work, to be a help to the saints generally, by seeking to lead them to increased dependence upon God alone, through this Institution, would be frustrated. I answered therefore the letter in substance as follows:—
“Whilst I thank you for your love, and whilst I agree with you, that, in general, there is a difference between asking for money and answering when asked, nevertheless in our case I feel not at liberty to speak about the state of our funds, as the primary object of the work in my hands is to lead those who are weak in faith to see that there is reality in dealing with God alone.”
After having sent off the answer, I was again and again led to pray to the Lord in this way: “Lord, thou knowest that for thy sake I did not tell this brother about our need. Now, Lord, show afresh that there is reality in speaking to thee only about our need, and speak therefore to this brother, so that he may help us.”
To-day, in answer to this my request, this brother sent one hundred pounds. Thus I have means for establishing the infant school, and for ordering more Bibles. Also the orphans are again supplied for a week; for when the money came in, there was not one penny in hand for them.
April 7. This evening I received information from my little half brother that my dear father died on March 30. During no period did I pray more frequently or more earnestly for the conversion of my dear aged parent than during the last year of his life; but, at all events, it did not please the Lord to let me see the answer to my prayers.
April 9. We are on the point of sending some money to the East Indies for missionary objects. Whilst I was on my knees respecting this object, five pounds was brought for it.
May 2. Nothing having come in for five days, we were to-day again penniless. In answer to prayer five shillings sixpence came in, and some trinkets were sent, the names of which the donor does not wish to be known. Thus we were helped through this day. Observe here how the Lord allowed five days to pass away without influencing the hearts of any to send us supplies; but the moment there is real need, the stream runs again.
May 3. Last evening a brother was baptized, who on the first Lord’s day of this year came with his intended wife to Bethesda Chapel. Both were in an unconverted state. Only since April 1, forty-one persons have come to us to speak about their souls.
May 8. There are four believers staying at my house, and to-day we had only a few shillings of our own money left. I gave myself, therefore, to prayer for means for our own personal expenses. In answer to my request, I received this morning five pounds.
May 10. To-day five of the orphans were baptized. There are now fourteen of them in fellowship.
May 26. Nothing had come in. My engagements kept me from going to the Orphan Houses till seven in the evening, when the laborers met together for prayer. When we met I found that one of them had given seventeen shillings, which had been divided between the three houses. This, with the little which had been left yesterday, had procured all necessary articles. We are now very poor.
May 27. We met for prayer at eleven this morning. No money had come in, but there was enough for dinner in all the houses. This morning the last coals were used in the Infant Orphan House, and in the Boys’ Orphan House there were only enough for to-day, and there was no money in hand to buy more. In this our need T. P. C. sent a load of coals. We purpose to meet again at four this afternoon. May the Lord graciously be pleased to send help in the mean time!
Evening. The Lord has had mercy! A person bought some days since several articles, which had been given to be sold for the benefit of the orphans, and owed six pounds fifteen shillings. This morning I asked the Lord to incline his heart to bring the money, or a part of it, as we were in such need. Just as I was going to meet for prayer with my fellow-laborers this afternoon, he came and brought four pounds. But our kind Father showed us still further to-day that only for the trial of our faith he had for a season withheld supplies; for there was given this evening, with Eccles. ix. 10, five pounds. There came in also nine shillings for articles which had been put into the hand of a sister, who has taken on her the service of disposing of articles which are given for sale. Thus the day, which had begun with prayer, ended in praise. But there is one thing more to be recorded respecting this day, as precious or more so than what has been said: I was to-day informed that the Lord has begun to stir up several of the boys to care about their souls.
June 17. For several days past I had been very poor in reference to my own temporal necessities, as well as in reference to the orphans. To-day we were especially poor, in both respects; but our kind Father remembered not merely the need of the dear orphans, but gave me also some money for my own personal expenses. The same sister just referred to, who brought five pounds ten shillings sixpence for the orphans, brought me also seven pounds for myself.
June 22. To-morrow, the Lord willing, I purpose, with my wife, to accompany the three German brethren and the five German sisters to Liverpool, who purpose to sail from thence. Under these circumstances it is desirable to leave at least a little money behind. This desire of my heart the Lord has granted; for this morning D. C. gave me five pounds, and there came in by sale of articles ten shillings fivepence. In the evening a sister, who has left Bristol to-day, sent me by her mother five pounds.
During the absence of Mr. M. the wants of the orphans were supplied in a wonderful manner. To mention but one instance, at a time when there was extreme need, a poor German missionary, just embarking for a heathen land, gave six pounds ten shillings, being his all.
The following event came to his notice during his journey:—
About October, 1837, I sent some Bibles and forty-six copies of my Narrative to a brother in Upper Canada, who, in dependence upon the Lord for temporal supplies, is laboring as a missionary in that country. About eighteen months afterwards I heard that this box had not arrived. I had reason to think that the broker had never sent off the box. My comfort, however, was, that though this poor sinner had acted thus, yet the Lord, in his own place and way, would use the Bibles and my Narratives. Now, almost immediately after my arrival in Liverpool, a brother told me that several persons wished to hear me preach who had read my Narrative; and that he knew a considerable number had been bought by a brother, a bookseller, from pawnbrokers, and sold again; and that some also had been ordered from London when there were no more to be had otherwise. It was thus evident that the ship-broker pawned these Narratives before he absconded; but the Lord used them as I had hoped.
Aug. 1. A few days since a brother was staying with me, on his way to his father, whom he had not seen for above two years, and who was greatly opposed to him, on account of the decided steps which his son had taken for the Lord. Before this brother left, that precious promise of our Lord was brought to my mind: “If two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.” (Matt. xviii. 19.) Accordingly, I went to the brother’s room, and having agreed to pray about a kind reception from his father, and the conversion of both parents, we prayed together. To-day this brother returned. The Lord has answered already one part of the prayer. The brother was most kindly received, contrary to all natural expectation. May the Lord now help us both to look for an answer to the other part of our prayer! There is nothing too hard for the Lord!
Since the publication of the last edition, the father of this brother died. He lived above ten years after Aug. 1, 1840, until he was about eighty-six years of age, and as he continued a life of much sin and opposition to the truth, the prospect with reference to his conversion became darker and darker. But at last the Lord answered prayer. This aged sinner was entirely changed, simply rested on the Lord Jesus for the salvation of his soul, and became as much attached to his believing son as before he had been opposed to him, and wished to have him about him as much as possible, that he might read the Holy Scriptures to him and pray with him.
Aug. 8. Saturday. This evening I was meditating on the fourth Psalm. The words in verse three, “But know that the Lord has set apart him that is godly for himself; the Lord will hear when I call upon him,” I was enabled to apply to myself, and they led me to prayer for spiritual blessings. Whilst in prayer, the need of the orphans, there being now again not one penny in hand, was also brought to my mind, and I asked the Lord respecting this likewise. About five minutes afterwards I was informed that a sister wished to see me. She brought one pound ten shillings for the orphans. Thus the Lord has already kindly sent a little to begin the week with. There was also still further given to-day, one shilling elevenpence; and five shillings one penny was taken out of the boxes in the Orphan Houses.
Aug. 15. There was to-day the greatest poverty in all the three houses; all the stores were very low, as the income throughout the week had been so small. In addition to this it was Saturday, when the wants are nearly double in comparison with other days. At least three pounds was needed to help us comfortably through the day; but there was nothing towards this in hand. My only hope was in God. The very necessity led me to expect help for this day; for if none had come, the Lord’s name would have been dishonored. Between twelve and one, two sisters in the Lord called on me; and the one gave me two pounds, and the other seven shillings sixpence for the orphans. With this I went to the Boys’ Orphan House about one o’clock, where I found the children at dinner. Brother B. put the following note into my hand, which he was just going to send off:—
“Dear Brother,—With potatoes from the children’s garden, and with apples from the tree in the playground (which apples were used for apple-dumplings), and four shillings sixpence, the price of some articles given by one of the laborers, we have a dinner. There is much needed. But the Lord has provided and will provide.”
August 23. Lord’s day. As we have often found it to be the case, so it is again now. After the Lord has tried our faith, he, in the love of his heart, gives us an abundance, to show that not in anger, but for the glory of his name, and for the trial of our faith, he has allowed us to be poor. The Lord has kindly given to-day twelve pounds seventeen shillings.
August 29. For many weeks past very little has come in for the other funds. The chief supply has been by the sale of Bibles. Last Saturday I was not able to pay the whole of the weekly salaries of the teachers in the day schools, which, however, does not make me a debtor to them, as it is an understood thing that they have not to look to me for payment, but to the Lord. To-day again only two shillings was in hand, whilst several pounds were needed to pay the salaries. It appeared now plainly to be the will of the Lord that, as all the laborers in the Orphan Houses know about the state of the funds, so the brethren and sisters who labor in the day schools should share the trial of faith and the joy of faith with us. Accordingly we all met, and after I had laid on their hearts the importance of keeping to themselves, for the Lord’s sake, the state of the funds, we prayed together.
September 5. Saturday. Because there had come in so little during the last days, at least three pounds was requisite to supply the need of to-day. There was, however, not one penny in hand when the day commenced. Last evening, the laborers in the Orphan Houses, together with the teachers of the day schools, met for prayer. This morning, one of the teachers, who had a little money of his own, brought one pound five shillings sixpence. Thus we were enabled to provide for the dinner. In the afternoon all of us met again for prayer. Another teacher of the day schools gave two shillings sixpence, and one shilling came in besides. But all this was not enough. There was no dinner provided for to-morrow, nor was there any money to take in milk to-morrow, and besides this a number of other little things were to be purchased, that there might be no real want of anything. Now observe how our kind Father helped us! Between seven and eight this evening, a sister, whose heart the Lord has made willing to take on her the service of disposing of the articles which are sent for sale, brought two pounds ten shillings sixpence, for some of the things which came a fortnight ago from Worcester, and last Wednesday from Leeds. The sister stated, that though she did not feel at all well, she had come because she had it so laid on her heart that she could not stay away.
September 8. How kindly has the Lord so ordered it that for some time past the income for the school fund should have been so little, in order that thus we might be constrained to let the laborers in the day schools share our joys and our trials of faith, which had been before kept from them! But as above two years ago the Lord ordered it so that it became needful to communicate to the laborers in the Orphan Houses the state of the funds, and made it a blessing to them, so that I am now able to leave Bristol, and yet the work goes on, so, I doubt not, the brethren and sisters who are teachers in the day schools will be greatly blessed by being thus partakers of our precious secret respecting the state of the funds. Our prayer meetings have been already a blessing to us, and united us more than ever in the work. We have them now every morning at seven, and we shall continue them, the Lord helping us, till we see his hand stretched forth, not merely in giving us means for the teachers, but also for other purposes; for we need a stove in one of the school-rooms, a fresh supply of several kinds of Bibles and New Testaments, and it is desirable to have means to help missionary brethren who labor in dependence upon the Lord for the supply of their temporal necessities.
September 21. To-day a brother from the neighborhood of London gave me ten pounds, to be laid out as it might be most needed. As we have been praying many days for the school, Bible, and missionary funds, I took it all for them. This brother knew nothing about our work, when he came three days since to Bristol. Thus the Lord, to show his continual care over us, raises up new helpers. They that trust in the Lord shall never be confounded. Some who helped for a while may fall asleep in Jesus; others may grow cold in the service of the Lord; others may be as desirous as ever to help, but have no longer the means; others may have both a willing heart to help, and have also the means, but may see it the Lord’s will to lay them out in another way;—and thus, from one cause or another, were we to lean upon man, we should surely be confounded; but, in leaning upon the living God alone, we are beyond disappointment, and beyond being forsaken because of death, or want of means, or want of love, or because of the claims of other work.
October 7. It is now five weeks since we have daily met for prayer. Not indeed merely to ask for means, but for grace and wisdom for ourselves in reference to the work, for the conversion of the children under our care, for grace for those children who stand already on the Lord’s side, for a blessing upon the circulation of the Scriptures, for a blessing upon the work with reference to the church at large, etc. But whilst we thus, as the Spirit led us, prayed for various things, nevertheless, the lack of means was that which had brought us day after day together. We asked the Lord to give us the means which are needed for carrying on the day schools, for buying Bibles, as several sorts are needed, and to enable us to assist missionary work in foreign countries. Never at any previous time, since first the work commenced on March 5, 1834, have we had to continue so long a time in prayer for these funds, without obtaining the answer. The Lord, however, gave us grace to “continue in prayer,” and kept our hearts in the assurance that he would help. Now, though he delayed long, before he sent us the answer, in his own time he made it manifest that he had not only not shut his ear against our prayers in anger, but that he had answered them even before we called; for there was sent to-day, from the East Indies, a bank order for one hundred pounds, which had been sent off two months since, therefore several days before we even began to pray. It was left to me to apply this money as it might be needed. As we had so long and so particularly prayed for these funds, I took the whole of it for them, and not for the orphan fund.
October 26. Yesterday morning, when I took my hat from the rail, I found in one of my gloves a note containing a five-pound note, and the following words: “Two pounds for the orphans, the rest for dear brother and sister Müller.” There came in still further yesterday two pounds twelve shillings sixpence. Thus we are again supplied for about three days.
In reference to the note which was put into my hat, containing five pounds, I just add, that I had repeatedly asked the Lord for means for our own personal expenses, previous to the reception of it, as we had but very little money for ourselves. Indeed, the very moment before I took my hat from the rail, I had risen from my knees, having again asked the Lord for means for ourselves and for the orphans.
November 8. I purposed to have gone to Trowbridge yesterday, and had settled it so on Friday evening with brother ——. But no sooner had I decided to do so, than I felt no peace in the prospect of going. After having prayed about it on Friday evening and yesterday morning, I determined not to go, and I felt sure the Lord had some reason for not allowing me to feel happy in the prospect of going. I began now to look out for blessings for this day, considering that the Lord had kept me here for good to some souls. This evening I was especially led to press the truth on the consciences of the unconverted, entreating and beseeching them, and telling them also that I felt sure the Lord had, in mercy to some of them, kept me from going to Trowbridge. I spoke on Genesis vi. 1-5. Immediately after, I saw fruit of the word. An individual fully opened his heart to me. I walked about with him till about ten o’clock, even as long as I had any strength left. [About ten days afterwards, a brother told me of a poor drunkard who heard me that evening, and who since then had stayed up till about twelve o’clock every night to read the Scriptures, and who had not been intoxicated since.]
At the close of these details, with reference to the year from December 9, 1839, to December 9, 1840, I make a few remarks.
1. Though our trials of faith during this year also have been many, and recurring more frequently than during any previous year, and though we have been often reduced to the greatest extremity, yet the orphans have lacked nothing; for they always have had good nourishing food, and the necessary articles of clothing, etc.
2. Should it be supposed by any one, in reading the plain details of our trials of faith during this year, that on account of them we have been disappointed in our expectations, or are discouraged in the work, my answer is, that the very reverse is the fact. Such days were expected from the commencement of the work; nay, more than this, the chief end for which the Institution was established is, that the church of Christ at large might be benefited by seeing manifestly the hand of God stretched out on our behalf in the hour of need, in answer to prayer. Our desire, therefore, is, not that we may be without trials of faith, but that the Lord graciously would be pleased to support us in the trial, that we may not dishonor him by distrust.
3. This way of living brings the Lord remarkably near. He is, as it were, morning by morning inspecting our stores, that accordingly he may send help. Greater and more manifest nearness of the Lord’s presence I have never had than when after breakfast there were no means for dinner, and then the Lord provided the dinner for more than one hundred persons; or when, after dinner, there were no means for the tea, and yet the Lord provided the tea; and all this without one single human being having been informed about our need. This moreover I add, that although we who have been eyewitnesses of these gracious interpositions of our Father, have not been so benefited by them as we might and ought to have been, yet we have in some measure derived blessings from them. One thing is certain, that we are not tired of doing the Lord’s work in this way.
4. It has been more than once observed, that such a way of living must lead the mind continually to think whence food, clothes, etc., are to come, and so unfit for spiritual exercises. Now, in the first place, I answer that our minds are very little tried about the necessaries of life, just because the care respecting them is laid upon our Father, who, because we are his children, not only allows us to do so, but will have us to do so. Secondly, it must be remembered, that, even if our minds were much tried about the supplies for the children, and the means for the other work, yet, because we look to the Lord alone for these things, we should only be brought, by our sense of need, into the presence of our Father for the supply of it; and that is a blessing, and no injury to the soul. Thirdly, our souls realize that for the glory of God, and for the benefit of the church at large it is that we have these trials of faith, and that leads again to God, to ask him for fresh supplies of grace, to be enabled to be faithful in this service.
5. My heart’s desire and prayer to God is, that all believers who read this may by these many answers to prayer be encouraged to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own state of heart, the state of the church at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. Do not think, dear reader, that these things are peculiar to us, and cannot be enjoyed by all the saints. Although every child of God is not called by the Lord to establish schools and orphan houses, and to trust in the Lord for means for them; yet there is nothing on the part of the Lord to hinder, why you may not know, by experience, far more abundantly than we do now, his willingness to answer the prayers of his children. Do but prove the faithfulness of God. Do but carry your every want to him. Only maintain an upright heart. But if you live in sin; if you wilfully and habitually do things respecting which you know that they are contrary to the will of God, then you cannot expect to be heard by him. “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me; but verily God hath heard me; he hath attended to the voice of my prayer.” Psalm lxvi. 18, 19.
6. As it regards the children of God, who by the labor of their hands, or in any business or profession, earn their bread, particularly the poorer classes of them, I give my affectionate yet solemn advice to carry into practice the principles on which this Institution is conducted as it regards not going into debt. Are you in debt? then make confession of sin respecting it. Sincerely confess to the Lord that you have sinned against Rom. xiii. 8. And if you are resolved no more to contract debt, whatever may be the result, and you are waiting on the Lord and truly trust in him, your present debts will soon be paid. Are you out of debt? then, whatever your future want may be, be resolved, in the strength of Jesus, rather to suffer the greatest privation, whilst waiting upon God for help, than to use unscriptural means, such as borrowing, taking goods on credit, etc., to deliver yourselves. This way needs but to be tried, in order that its excellency may be enjoyed.
There are a few points more which may be of interest to the believing reader, which I shall now add.
1. There have been, during this year, six day schools for poor children entirely supported by the funds of our Institution, all of which have been established by us.
The number of all the children that have had schooling in the day schools through the medium of the Institution, since its formation, amounts to 2,216; the number of those at present in the six day schools is 303.
These day schools have defrayed, by the payments of the children, about the sixth part of their own expenses.
2. There is one Sunday school entirely supported by the funds of the Institution.
3. There has been, since the formation of the Institution, one adult school connected with it, in which, on the Lord’s day afternoons, since that time, about 150 adults have been instructed.
4. The number of Bibles and Testaments which have been circulated through the medium of our Institution, during the last year, amounts to 452 copies.
There have been circulated since March 5, 1834, 6,044 copies of the Scriptures.
5. There have been laid out, during the last year, of the funds of the Institution, £120, 10s. 2d. for missionary purposes.
6. There are at present ninety-one orphans in the three houses. The total number of the orphans who have been under our care from April 11, 1836, to December 9, 1840, amounts to 129.
Without any one having been asked for anything by us, the sum of £3,937, 1s. 1d. has been given to us for the Orphan Houses, as the result of prayer to God, since the commencement of the work.
THE BLESSING OF THE LORD UPON THE WORK IN REFERENCE
TO THE SOULS OF THE
CHILDREN.
1. During the last fourteen months there have been meetings purposely for children, at which the Scriptures have been expounded to them. At these meetings an almost universal attention is manifested by them, which I thankfully ascribe to the Lord, and upon which I look as a forerunner of greater blessing.
2. During the last year three of the Sunday-school children have been received into fellowship.
3. At the end of last year there had been eight orphans received into communion; during the present year fourteen have been received; in all, twenty-two.
It was stated in the last year’s Report that we were looking for fruit upon our labors as it regards the conversion of the children, as the Lord had given to us a measure of earnestness in praying for them. The Lord has dealt with us according to our expectations. But I expect far more than what we have seen. While the chief object of our work has been and is still the manifestation of the heart of God towards his children, and the reality of power with God in prayer, yet, as we hoped, and as it has been our prayer, the Lord gives to us also the joy of seeing one child after another brought to stand openly on the Lord’s side. As far as my experience goes, it appears to me that believers generally have expected far too little of present fruit upon their labors among children. There has been a hoping that the Lord some day or other would own the instruction which they give to children, and would answer at some time or other, though after many years only, the prayers which they offer up on their behalf. Now, while such passages as Proverbs xxii. 6, Ecclesiastes xi. 1, Galatians vi. 9, 1 Cor. xv. 58, give unto us assurance not merely respecting everything which we do for the Lord, in general, but also respecting bringing up children in the fear of the Lord, in particular, that our labor is not in vain in the Lord; yet we have to guard against abusing such passages, by thinking it a matter of little moment whether we see present fruit or not; but, on the contrary, we should give the Lord no rest till we see present fruit, and therefore in persevering yet submissive prayer we should make known our requests unto God. I add, as an encouragement to believers who labor among children, that during the last two years seventeen other young persons or children, from the age of eleven and a half to seventeen, have been received into fellowship among us, and that I am looking out now for many more to be converted, and that not merely of the orphans, but of the Sunday and day school children. As in so many respects we live in remarkable times, so in this respect also, that the Lord is working greatly among the children in many places.
The total of the expenses connected with the objects of the Institution, exclusive of the Orphan Houses, from November 19, 1839, to November 19, 1840, is £622, 2s. 6½d. The balance in hand on Nov. 19, 1840, was £13, 2s. 9¾d.
The total of the expenses connected with the three Orphan Houses, from December 9, 1839, to December 9, 1840, is £900, 11s. 2½d. The balance in hand on December 9, 1840, was £15, 1s. 6¼d.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1840.
1. As to the church. There are 525 at present in communion; 114 have been added during the past year, of whom 47 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
2. As to the supply of my temporal necessities. The Lord has been pleased to send me, by the freewill offerings of the saints, £242, 8s. 11½.
FOOTNOTES:
It may not be improper to state here that the little patrimony to which Mr. Müller became entitled upon the decease of his father was devoted to the purposes of charity and religion, in accordance with the principle of action indicated on page 67. This fact is not mentioned by Mr. M., but has come to the knowledge of the editor through another channel.—Ed.
CHAPTER XIII.
FAITH STRENGTHENED BY EXERCISE.
1841.
A WANT SUPPLIED—RESOURCES EXCEEDING THE DEMAND—EVIL OF SURETYSHIP—POWER OF CHRISTIAN LOVE—GOD’S WORD THE FOOD OF THE SOUL—PREPARATION FOR THE HOUR OF TRIAL—POVERTY—DEPENDING ONLY ON THE LIVING GOD.
January 1, 1841. During this week we have daily met for prayer, for the especial purpose of asking the Lord to give us the means of having the last year’s Report printed. It is three weeks since it might have been sent to the press. We felt this now to be a matter of especial importance, as, if the Report were not soon printed, it would be known that it arose from want of means. By the donations which came in during these last days for the orphans, and by ten pounds which was given to-day for the other funds, we have the means of defraying the expense of about two thirds of the printing, and therefore a part of the manuscript was sent off, trusting that the Lord would be pleased to send in more means before two sheets are printed off; but if not, we should then stop till we have more. Evening. There came in still further five pounds; also, ten shillings and three shillings.
Jan. 11. Monday. During the last week the Lord not only supplied us richly with all we needed for the orphans, but enabled us to put by several pounds towards printing the Report. On Saturday evening there was only three shillings sixpence left. On this account I was looking out for answers to my prayers for means, and the Lord did not disappoint me. There came in altogether yesterday nine pounds sixteen shillings fourpence. We have now enough even for the last part of the Report.
Jan. 12. To-day I have received a letter from a brother, in which he empowers me to draw upon his bankers, during this year, to the amount of one thousand pounds, for any brethren who have it in their hearts to give themselves to missionary service in the East Indies, and whom I shall consider called for this service, as far as I am able to judge. [This power lasted only for that year; but no brethren who seemed to be suitable offered themselves for this service. This is another fresh proof how much more easily pecuniary means can be obtained than suitable individuals. Indeed, in all my experience I have found it thus, that if I could only settle that a certain thing to be done was according to the will of God, the means were soon obtained to carry it into effect.]
Jan. 13. This evening I was called to the house of a brother and sister who are in the deepest distress. The brother had become surety for the debts of his son, not in the least expecting that he ever should be called upon for the payment of them; but, as his son has not discharged his debts, the father has been called upon to do so; and except the money is paid within a few days, he will be imprisoned.
How precious it is, even for this life, to act according to the word of God! This perfect revelation of his mind gives us directions for everything, even the most minute affairs of this life. It commands us, “Be not thou one of them that strike hands, or of them that are sureties for debts.” Prov. xxii. 26. The way in which Satan ensnares persons, to bring them into the net, and to bring trouble upon them by becoming sureties, is, that he seeks to represent the matter as if there were no danger connected with that particular case, and that one might be sure one should never be called upon to pay the money; but the Lord, the faithful Friend, tells us in his own word that the only way “to be sure” in such a matter is “to hate suretyship.” Prov. xi. 15. The following points seem to me of solemn moment for consideration, if I were called upon to become surety for another: 1. What obliges the person who wishes me to become surety for him to need a surety? Is it really a good cause in which I am called upon to become surety? I do not remember ever to have met with a case in which in a plain, and godly, and in all respects scriptural matter such a thing occurred. There was generally some sin or other connected with it. 2. If I become surety, notwithstanding what the Lord has said to me in his word, am I in such a position that no one will be injured by my being called upon to fulfil the engagements of the person for whom I am going to be surety? In most instances this alone ought to keep one from it. 3. If still I become surety, the amount of money for which I become responsible must be so in my power that I am able to produce it whenever it is called for, in order that the name of the Lord may not be dishonored. 4. But if there be the possibility of having to fulfil the engagements of the person in whose stead I have to stand, is it the will of the Lord that I should spend my means in that way? Is it not rather his will that my means should be spent in another way? 5. How can I get over the plain word of the Lord, which is to the contrary, even if the first four points could be satisfactorily settled?
March 4. From February 22 up to this day our necessities in the day schools were supplied by thirteen small donations, and by a donation of eight pounds from Q. Q. To-day I received fifteen pounds. When this arrived there was not one penny in hand for the day schools, whilst two days after about seven pounds was needed. This money came from a considerable distance, and from a brother who never had assisted in this work before, whereby the Lord afresh shows how easily he can raise up new helpers.
For the encouragement of believers, who are tried by having unconverted relatives and friends, I will relate the following circumstance, the truth of which I know.
Baron Von K., who resided in my own country, the kingdom of Prussia, had
been for many years a disciple of the Lord Jesus. Even about the
This dear man of God was not content with this. He travelled through many countries to visit the prisons, for the sake of improving the temporal and spiritual condition of the prisoners, and among all the other things which he sought to do for the Lord was this also in particular: He assisted poor students whilst at the university of Berlin, especially those who studied divinity, as it is called, in order to get access to them, and to win them for the Lord. One day a most talented young man, whose father lived at Breslau, where there is likewise a university, heard of the aged baron’s kindness to students, and he therefore wrote to him, requesting him to assist him, as his own father could not well afford to support him any longer, having other children to provide for. A short time afterwards young T. received a most kind reply from the baron, inviting him to come to Berlin; but, before this letter arrived, the young student had heard that Baron von K. was a pietist or mystic, as true believers are contemptuously called in Germany; and as young T. was of a highly philosophical turn of mind, reasoning about everything, questioning the truth of revelation, yea, questioning, most sceptically, the existence of God, he much disliked the prospect of going to the old baron. Still, he thought he could but try, and if he did not like it, he was not bound to remain in connection with him. He arrived in Berlin on a day when there was a great review of the troops, and, being full of this, he began to speak about it to the steward of the baron. The steward, however, being a believer, turned the conversation, before the young student was aware of it, to spiritual things; and yet he could not say that it had been forced. He began another subject, and a third, but still it always came presently again to spiritual things.
At last the baron came, who received young T. in the most affectionate and familiar manner, as if he had been his equal, and as if young T. bestowed a favor on him, rather than that he was favored by the baron. The baron offered him a room in his own house, and a place at his own table, while he should be studying in Berlin, which young T. accepted. He now sought in every way to treat the young student in the most kind and affectionate way, and as much as possible to serve him, and to show him the power of the gospel in his own life, without arguing with him, yea, without speaking to him directly about his soul. For, discovering in young T. a most reasoning and sceptical mind, he avoided in every possible way getting into any argument with him, while the young student again and again said to himself, “I wish I could get into an argument with this old fool; I would show him his folly.” But the baron avoided it. When the young student used to come home in the evening, and the baron heard him come, he would himself go to meet him on entering the house, would light his candle, would assist and serve him, in any way he could, even to the fetching the bootjack for him, and helping him to take off his boots. Thus this lowly aged disciple went on for some time, whilst the young student still sought an opportunity for arguing with him, but wondered nevertheless how the baron could thus serve him. One evening, on the return of young T. to the baron’s house, when the baron was making himself his servant as usual, he could refrain himself no longer, but burst out thus: “Baron, how can you do all this? You see I do not care about you, and how are you able to continue to be so kind to me, and thus to serve me?” The baron replied, “My dear young friend, I have learned it from the Lord Jesus. I wish you would read through the Gospel of John. Good night.” The student now for the first time in his life sat down and read the word of God in a disposition of mind to be willing to learn, whilst up to that time he had never read the Holy Scriptures but with the view of wishing to find out arguments against them. It pleased God to bless him. From that time he became himself a follower of the Lord Jesus, and has been so ever since.
May 7. It has recently pleased the Lord to teach me a truth, irrespective of human instrumentality, as far as I know, the benefit of which I have not lost, though now, while preparing the fifth edition for the press, more than fourteen years have since passed away. The point is this: I saw more clearly than ever that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished. For I might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, I might seek to benefit believers, I might seek to relieve the distressed, I might in other ways seek to behave myself as it becomes a child of God in this world; and yet, not being happy in the Lord, and not being nourished and strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended to in a right spirit. Before this time my practice had been, at least for ten years previously, as an habitual thing to give myself to prayer, after having dressed myself in the morning. Now, I saw that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the word of God, and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted, encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, by means of the word of God, whilst meditating on it, my heart might be brought into experimental communion with the Lord.
I began therefore to meditate on the New Testament from the beginning, early in the morning. The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord’s blessing upon his precious word, was, to begin to meditate on the word of God, searching as it were into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the word, not for the sake of preaching on what I had meditated upon, but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul. The result I have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that, though I did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer. When thus I have been for a while making confession, or intercession, or supplication, or have given thanks, I go on to the next words or verse, turning all, as I go on, into prayer for myself or others, as the word may lead to it, but still continually keeping before me that food for my own soul is the object of my meditation. The result of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession, thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with my meditation, and that my inner man almost invariably is even sensibly nourished and strengthened, and that by breakfast time, with rare exceptions, I am in a peaceful if not happy state of heart. Thus also the Lord is pleased to communicate unto me that which, either very soon after or at a later time, I have found to become food for other believers, though it was not for the sake of the public ministry of the word that I gave myself to meditation, but for the profit of my own inner man.
With this mode I have likewise combined the being out in the open air for an hour, an hour and a half, or two hours, before breakfast, walking about in the fields, and in the summer sitting for a little on the stiles, if I find it too much to walk all the time. I find it very beneficial to my health to walk thus for meditation before breakfast, and am now so in the habit of using the time for that purpose, that when I get into the open air I generally take out a New Testament of good-sized type, which I carry with me for that purpose, besides my Bible; and I find that I can profitably spend my time in the open air, which formerly was not the case, for want of habit. I used to consider the time spent in walking a loss, but now I find it very profitable, not only to my body, but also to my soul. The walking out before breakfast is of course not necessarily connected with this matter, and every one has to judge according to his strength and other circumstances.
The difference, then, between my former practice and my present one is this: Formerly, when I rose, I began to pray as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time. At all events I almost invariably began with prayer, except when I felt my soul to be more than usually barren, in which case I read the word of God for food, or for refreshment, or for a revival and renewal of my inner man, before I gave myself to prayer. But what was the result? I often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour, on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, etc.; and often, after having suffered much from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, I only then began really to pray. I scarcely ever suffer now in this way. For my heart being nourished by the truth, being brought into experimental fellowship with God, I speak to my Father and to my Friend (vile though I am, and unworthy of it) about the things that he has brought before me in his precious word. It often now astonishes me that I did not sooner see this point. In no book did I ever read about it. No public ministry ever brought the matter before me. No private intercourse with a brother stirred me up to this matter. And yet now, since God has taught me this point, it is as plain to me as anything, that the first thing the child of God has to do morning by morning is, to obtain food for his inner man. As the outward man is not fit for work for any length of time except we take food, and as this is one of the first things we do in the morning, so it should be with the inner man. We should take food for that, as every one must allow. Now what is the food for the inner man? Not prayer, but the word of God; and here again, not the simple reading of the word of God, so that it only passes through our minds, just as water runs through a pipe, but considering what we read, pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts. When we pray, we speak to God. Now, prayer, in order to be continued for any length of time in any other than a formal manner, requires, generally speaking, a measure of strength or godly desire, and the season, therefore, when this exercise of the soul can be most effectually performed is after the inner man has been nourished by meditation on the word of God, where we find our Father speaking to us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to instruct us, to humble us, to reprove us. We may therefore profitably meditate, with God’s blessing, though we are ever so weak spiritually; nay, the weaker we are, the more we need meditation for the strengthening of our inner man. There is thus far less to be feared from wandering of mind than if we give ourselves to prayer without having had previously time for meditation. I dwell so particularly on this point because of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment I am conscious of having derived from it myself, and I affectionately and solemnly beseech all my fellow-believers to ponder this matter. By the blessing of God I ascribe to this mode the help and strength which I have had from God to pass in peace through deeper trials, in various ways, than I had ever had before; and after having now above fourteen years tried this way, I can most fully, in the fear of God, commend it. In addition to this I generally read, after family prayer, larger portions of the word of God, when I still pursue my practice of reading regularly onward in the Holy Scriptures, sometimes in the New Testament and sometimes in the Old, and for more than twenty-six years I have proved the blessedness of it. I take, also, either then or at other parts of the day, time more especially for prayer.
How different, when the soul is refreshed and made happy early in the morning, from what it is when, without spiritual preparation, the service, the trials, and the temptations of the day come upon one!
Oct. 1. When I had again not one penny in hand for the necessities of this day, there was brought to me this morning ten shillings for the orphans, which had been sent from Kensington. In the paper which contained the money, was written: “Your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.” “Trust in the Lord.” This word of our Lord is to me of more value than many bank notes. About five minutes later I received from an Irish sister ten pounds, through her banker in London. I mention here, as a point particularly to be noticed, that after the season of comparative abundance had come to an end in September, the Lord did not at once allow us to be so sharply tried as we were afterwards. He dealt in the same gentle way with us three years before, when the trials of faith in this part of the work first commenced.
Nov. 2. At a time of the greatest poverty one pound was sent by a lady from Birmingham. About half an hour afterwards I received ten pounds from a brother who had saved up one hundred and fifty pounds, and put it into a savings bank, but who now sees that to devote this money to the promotion of the work of God tends more to the glory of the name of Jesus than to retain it in the savings bank upon interest for a time of sickness or old age; for he is assured that should such times come, the same Lord, who has hitherto cared for him whilst in health and strength and able to work, will also care for him then. The same brother gave me three pounds a fortnight since. This ten pounds came in very seasonably; for, though we had been able to provide for the absolute necessities of to-day, yet there was want in many respects, especially as a boy is just going out as an apprentice, who needs tools and an outfit.
Nov. 13. Saturday. This morning I took one shilling out of the box in my house. This shilling was all there was towards the need of to-day. Pause, dear reader, for a few moments! Consider that there are more than a hundred persons to be provided with everything they require; consider that there is no money in hand; and consider also that this is the case not once nor twice in the course of the year, but very frequently. Is it not precious, under such circumstances, to have the living God as a father to go to, who is ever able and ever willing to help, as it may be really needed? And to this privilege every one has a title who believes in the Lord Jesus, being as such a child of God. Galatians iii. 26. For though all believers in the Lord Jesus are not called upon to establish orphan houses, schools for poor children, etc., and trust in God for means; yet all believers, according to the will of God concerning them in Christ Jesus, may cast, and ought to cast, all their care upon him who careth for them, and need not be anxiously concerned about anything, as is plainly to be seen from 1 Peter v. 7, Philippians iv. 6, Matthew vi. 25-34. Under these circumstances of need, a silver watch, which only yesterday afternoon had become the property of the orphan fund, was disposed of, whereby we were helped through the expenses of to-day. The coals are almost gone in each of the houses. Every article of provision, etc., is likewise much reduced. Truly, we are exceedingly poor; nevertheless there are the necessary provisions till Monday morning, and thus we are brought to the close of another week. This afternoon all the laborers met for prayer.
Nov. 14. When we met again this afternoon for prayer, we had reason to praise, for the Lord had sent in means. This morning was given to me five pounds, and six shillings had come in by sale of articles.
Nov. 15. Last Friday brother Craik and I had a meeting for inquirers and candidates for fellowship. We saw eight, and had to send away ten whom we could not see, our strength being quite gone after we had seen the eight, one after another. This evening we saw seven, and had to send away three.
Nov. 16. The last four days we have daily met for prayer, there being no means to pay the teachers in the day schools. Besides this, we need a stove in one of the school-rooms; also some Bibles and tracts. To-day I received two pounds from a brother at Exmouth.
Dec. 9. We are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part of the work, having only in hand the money which has been put by for the rent; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with all that was needed.
During the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings, at which, for the benefit of the hearers, we stated how the Lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at those meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large. This time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for a while both the public meetings and the publishing of the Report. Through grace we had learned to lean upon the Lord only, being assured that if we never were to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long as he should enable us to depend on himself alone. But whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the Lord’s dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some that in making known our circumstances we were actuated by some such motives. What better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the living God alone, and not upon public meetings or printed reports, than that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without saying anything. We therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the Reports for a few months. Naturally we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have exposed our poverty at that time; but spiritually we were enabled to delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by the church at large from our acting as we did.
CHAPTER XIV.
WALKING IN DARKNESS.
1841-1842.
“GOD’S WAY LEADS INTO TRIAL”—GROUNDS OF THANKFULNESS—PROTRACTED DARKNESS—CAST DOWN, BUT NOT DESTROYED—TRUST IN GOD COMMENDED—THE MEANS OF ITS ATTAINMENT—REVIEW OF THE WORK.
December 15, 1841. From Nov. 12 to this day my fellow-laborers in the church and I have seen thirty inquirers and candidates for fellowship, and some of them we have seen repeatedly. How can we sufficiently praise the Lord for still continuing to use us in his service?
Dec. 18. Saturday morning. There is now the greatest need, and only fourpence in hand, which I found in the box at my house; yet I fully believe the Lord will supply us this day also with all that is required.—Pause a few moments, dear reader. Observe two things. We acted for God in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the Report; but God’s way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried in God’s ways. The Lord was saying by this poverty, “I will now see whether you truly lean upon me, and whether you truly look to me.” Of all the seasons that I had ever passed through since I had been living in this way, up to that time, I never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply as during the four months from December 12, 1841, to April 12, 1842. But observe further: We might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the Report; for no one knew our determination, at this time, concerning this point. Nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of God were looking forward to receive further accounts. But the Lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion at which we arrived under his guidance.—Now to return to Saturday, Dec. 18. Evening. The Lord has been very kind to us this day. In the course of the morning six shillings came in. We had thus, with what provisions there were in hand, all that was needed for the dinner, but no means to provide for the next meal in the afternoon. A few minutes after the laborers had met together for prayer this morning, there was given to one of them a sovereign for himself. By means of this all that was needed for tea could be procured. When we again met in the evening for prayer, we found that the supplies amounted to two pounds eight shillings twopence, enough for all that was required to-day. But one thing more is to be noticed respecting this day. I was informed that three more of the orphans have been recently brought to the knowledge of the truth. We have now been meeting daily for prayer during the last five weeks, and thus the Lord has not merely heard our prayers respecting the funds, but has also blessed these children.
Dec. 23. This is now the sixth week that the laborers in the day schools and Orphan Houses have daily met for prayer. Several precious answers we have already received since we began to meet, as it regards pecuniary supplies, fresh instances of conversion among the children, etc. One of our petitions has been that the Lord would be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at Callowhill Street schoolroom. But, though we had often mentioned this matter before the Lord, he seemed not to regard our request. Yesterday afternoon, while walking in my little garden, and meditating and praying, I had an unusual assurance that the time was now come when the Lord would answer our request, which arose partly from my being able to believe that he would send the means, and partly from the fact that the answer could no longer be delayed without prayer having failed in this matter, as we could not assemble the children again, after the Christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up. And now, dear reader, observe: This morning I received from A. B. twenty pounds, and we have thus much more than is required for a stove.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1841.
1. In reading over my journal, I find that the Lord has given me, during this year, many precious answers to prayer, in addition to those which have been recorded in the previous part of the Narrative. I mention the following for the encouragement of the reader: 1. One of the orphan boys needed to be apprenticed. I knew of no suitable believing master who would take an in-door apprentice. I gave myself to prayer, and brought the matter daily before the Lord. I marked it down among the subjects for which I would daily ask the Lord; and at last, though from May 21 to September I had to pray about the matter, the Lord granted my request; for in September I found a suitable place for him. 2. On May 23 I began to ask the Lord that he would be pleased to deliver a certain sister in the Lord from the great spiritual depression under which she was suffering, and after three days the Lord granted me my request. 3. On June 15 I began to ask the Lord to deliver a brother at a distance from the great spiritual nervousness in which he found himself shut up, which not only distressed him exceedingly, and in a great measure hindered him in his service towards the world and the church, but which in consequence was also a trial to the saints who knew and valued this dear brother. This petition I brought many times before the Lord. The year passed away, and it was not granted. But yet at last this request also has been granted to me and to the many dear saints who I know prayed for this dear brother; for though he was for some years in this state, it is now [in 1845] two years and more since he has been quite restored. 4. On June 15 I also began to ask the Lord daily in his mercy to keep a sister in the Lord from insanity, who was then apparently on the very border of it; and I have now [in 1845] to record to his praise, after nearly four years have passed away, that the Lord has kept her from it. 5. During this year I was informed about the conversion of one of the very greatest sinners that I had ever heard of in all my service for the Lord. Repeatedly I fell on my knees with his wife, and asked the Lord for his conversion, when she came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on account of her most barbarous and cruel treatment that she received from him in his bitter enmity against her for the Lord’s sake, and because he could not provoke her to be in a passion, and she would not strike him again, and the like. At the time when it was at its worst I pleaded especially on his behalf the promise in Matthew xviii. 19: “Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.” And now this awful persecutor is converted. 6. On May 25 I began to ask the Lord for greater real spiritual prosperity among the saints among whom I labor in Bristol than there ever yet had been among them; and now I have to record to the praise of the Lord that truly he has answered this request; for, considering all things, at no period has there been more manifestation of grace, and truth, and spiritual power among us, than there is now while I am writing this for the press [1845].
2. The state of the church with reference to numbers. There are 572 at present in communion, 88 having been added during the past year, of whom 30 have been brought to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
3. The Lord’s goodness as to my temporal supplies during this year. He has been pleased to give me by freewill offerings of the saints, £238, 11s. 1¾d.
January 3, 1842. This evening we had a precious public prayer meeting. When the usual time for closing the meeting came, it appeared to me that there was a desire to continue to wait upon the Lord. I therefore proposed to the brethren that those who had bodily strength, time, and a desire for waiting still longer upon the Lord, would do so. At least thirty remained, and we continued till after ten in prayer, whilst several brethren prayed. I never knew prayer more really in the Spirit. I experienced for myself unusual nearness to the Lord, and was enabled to ask in faith, nothing doubting.
Jan. 4. As we have often found it to be the case, so it is now. After a season of more than usual poverty, comes a time of more than usual abundance. To-day the same brother who has been spoken of under November 2, and who has drawn his money out of the savings bank to spend it for the Lord, sent twenty pounds more of it. There came in also from Guernsey one pound, and one pound seven shillings besides. I am now able to order oatmeal from Scotland, buy materials for the boys’ clothes, order shoes, etc. Thus the Lord has been pleased to answer all our requests with respect to the pecuniary necessities of the orphans, which we have brought before him in our prayer meetings during the last seven weeks. We have thus had of late an abundance, but the expenses have been great also; for within the last twenty-five days I have paid out above one hundred pounds.
Feb. 5. Saturday. As only ten pounds ten shillings sixpence had been received since January 29, i. e. only so much as day by day was needed to provide necessaries for the orphans, there is again the greatest need. It is now twelve o’clock, and there are no means as yet to meet the expenses of to-day. The words in the prayer of Jehoshaphat, “Neither know we what to do, but our eyes are upon thee,” are at this moment the language of my heart. I likewise know not what to do, but my eyes are upon the Lord, and I am sure that he will help this day also.—Evening. In the course of the morning came in, by sale of articles, twelve shillings. We were able likewise to dispose of one of the articles which were sent last evening for five shillings. This afternoon one of the laborers gave me ten shillings, and three shillings came in for needlework. By means of this one pound ten shillings we were able to supply all that was needed.
Feb. 8. By what came in yesterday and the day before, the need of yesterday was supplied, and there is enough in all the houses for the meals of to-day; but in none of the houses have we been able to take in any bread; and as yesterday also but little could be taken in, there will not remain any for to-morrow; nor is there money enough to take in milk to-morrow morning. There are likewise coals needed in two houses. Indeed, so far as I know, these three years and seven months, since first the funds were exhausted, we were never in greater poverty; and if the Lord were not to send means before nine o’clock to-morrow morning, his name would be dishonored. But I am fully assured that he will not leave us.—Evening. The Lord has not yet been pleased to send us what is needed for to-morrow, but he has given us a fresh proof that he is mindful of us. Between four and five o’clock this afternoon were sent nine plum cakes, which a sister had ordered to be baked as a treat for the orphans. These cakes were an encouragement to me to continue to look out for further supplies. There was also found in the boxes at the Orphan Houses two shillings and a penny halfpenny, and one shilling fourpence came in for stockings. These little donations are most precious, but they are not enough to meet the need of to-morrow; yea, before nine o’clock to-morrow morning we need more money to be able to take in the milk. Truly, we are poorer than ever; but through grace my eyes look not at the empty stores and the empty purse, but to the riches of the Lord only.
Feb. 9. This morning I went between seven and eight o’clock to the Orphan Houses, to see whether the Lord had sent in anything. When I arrived there, he had just two or three minutes before sent help. A brother, in going to his house of business this morning, had gone already about half a mile, when the Lord was pleased to lay the orphans upon his heart. He said, however, to himself, I cannot well return now, but will take something this evening; and thus he walked on. Nevertheless, he could not go on any further, but felt himself constrained to go back, and to take to brother R. B., at the Boys’ Orphan House, three sovereigns. [The donor himself stated this to me afterwards.] Thus the Lord in his faithfulness helped us. Help was never more truly needed, for our poverty was never greater; nor did the help of the Lord ever come more manifestly from himself; for the brother was gone on a good distance, it was between seven and eight o’clock in the morning, and it was so short a time before money would have been needed. Consider this, beloved reader, and with us praise the Lord for his goodness. Praise him particularly that he enabled us to trust in him in this trying hour. There came in besides, to-day, seven shillings sixpence.
Feb. 12. Saturday. Never since the funds were for the first time exhausted had there come in less during any week than during this. We were only able to supply the absolute necessities; but this we were enabled to do. When the meal-times came, the Lord always provided what was needful, and, considering the great distress there is now almost everywhere, our dear orphans are very well provided for. Now this day began not only without there being anything in hand, but our stores were greatly reduced, and we had to procure provisions for two days. One of the laborers gave five shillings in the morning, to provide the means to take in the milk. I collected together some pamphlets, which had been given for sale, to dispose of them, and they were sold about eleven o’clock for four shillings. There came in also by sale of stockings three shillings, and twelve shillings was paid on behalf of one of the orphans. Thus we were provided with means to procure a dinner, and had a little towards purchasing bread, but by no means enough. All the laborers were together in prayer from half-past eleven till one, and we separated comfortably, with the purpose of meeting again in the evening. When I came home there was given to me an old broken silver pencil-case, which, though worth very little, I took as a fresh proof that our Father was mindful of our need. When we met again this evening, we found that three shillings sixpence had come in by sale of stockings, and sixpence for two Reports. As all this was not enough, a few old and needless articles were disposed of for four shillings, also the broken pencil-case for sixpence. I say needless articles, for other articles it did not seem right to us to dispose of, in order that the Lord’s own deliverance might be manifest. A laborer was also still further able to give seven shillings of his own. To one of the laborers two shillings had been owed by a certain individual for more than a twelvemonth, which being paid just now, and given by him for the orphans, came in most seasonably. Thus we had one pound eighteen shillings sixpence, as much as was needful to procure provisions till after breakfast on Monday morning. However, the Lord helped still further. Between eight and nine this evening, after we had been together for prayer, and had now separated, some money was given to one of the laborers for himself, by which means he was able to give nine shillings, so that altogether two pounds seven shillings sixpence had come in this day. This has been, of all the weeks, during the last three years and seven months, one of the most trying, so far as it regards the trial of faith. Thanks to the Lord who has helped us this day also! Thanks to him for enabling us already this morning, when we met for prayer, to praise him for the deliverance which we were sure he would work.
Feb. 16. This morning there was now again only sufficient money in hand to take in milk at two of the houses; but as a laborer was able to give six shillings sixpence, we had sufficient for the milk, and had also enough, with the provisions that were in the houses, to provide for the dinner. Nothing more came in in the course of the morning, nor was I able to make inquiries how matters stood. In the afternoon, between three and four o’clock, having once more besought the Lord to send us help, I sat peacefully down to give myself to meditation over the word, considering that that was now my service, though I knew not whether there was a morsel of bread for tea in any one of the houses, but being assured that the Lord would provide. For, through grace, my mind is so fully assured of the faithfulness of the Lord, that, in the midst of the greatest need, I am enabled in peace to go about my other work. Indeed, did not the Lord give me this, which is the result of trusting in him, I should scarcely be able to work at all; for it is now comparatively a rare thing that a day comes when I am not in need for one or the other part of the work. Scarcely had I sat down to meditate, when a note was sent to me from the Orphan Houses, in which brother R. B., master of the orphan boys, had written thus: “On visiting the sisters in the Infant and Girls’ Orphan Houses, I found them in the greatest need. There was not bread in one of the houses for tea this evening, and the six shillings sixpence was scarcely enough to supply what was needed for the dinner. I therefore opened the box in the Boys’ Orphan House, and most unexpectedly found one pound it. Thus, through the kindness of the Lord, we were again abundantly supplied as it regards present necessities.” In the evening the Lord, in his love and faithfulness, stretched out his hand still further. I had expounded at the meeting a part of John xi. The last words on which I spoke were, “Said I not unto thee that if thou wouldest believe thou shouldest see the glory of God?” When the meeting was over, as a fresh proof of the truth of this word, a note was given to me in which a sick sister sent me five pounds for the orphans.
Feb. 19. Saturday. Our means were now again completely spent. Our provision stores were, perhaps, even more exhausted than on any previous Saturday. There was not the least human likelihood of obtaining means for sufficient provisions for this one day, and much less for two days. When I went before breakfast to the Orphan Houses, I found a letter from Nottingham, containing one shilling, which had arrived last evening. This was not only a sweet proof that our Father remembered our need, but it was also like an earnest that he would supply us this day also with all we required. In the course of the morning came in by sale of stockings four shillings elevenpence. In the box at my house I found one shilling. One of the laborers gave four shillings tenpence. Thus we were provided with those things which were absolutely needed for this day. We met between eleven and twelve o’clock for prayer. When we met again in the evening, a second letter had arrived from Nottingham, with another shilling. This was a further sweet proof of our Father’s loving remembrance of our need; but with all this we were still without any means to provide bread for to-morrow, the Lord’s day. At eight o’clock I separated from my fellow-laborers, as I expected brother R. C. to arrive a little after eight at my house. I therefore requested one of the brethren to go with me, in order to take back to the Orphan Houses what the Lord might send in by post or in any other way. It was now half past eight in the evening, and there was no bread yet in any one of the three houses for to-morrow. A few moments after, brother C. arrived, and he had not been more than about five minutes in my house when he gave me half a sovereign which he brought for the orphans. I soon found an opportunity to leave the room for a little, gave the ten shillings to the brother whom I had brought with me from the Orphan Houses, and who was waiting in another room; and thus between nine and ten o’clock sufficient bread could be bought. Observe! For the trial of our faith the Lord had allowed us to be kept waiting so long. When, however, brother C. had arrived, having money for the orphans, he could not delay giving it at once, a matter most worthy of notice. This has been a week full of trials of faith, but also full of deliverances.
Feb. 21. Since Saturday evening came in one pound eight shillings elevenpence. There was also sent from Plymouth a piece of blond, a piece of quilling net, and eleven pairs of children’s stockings, for sale. Thus we were supplied with means for that which was requisite for the beginning of this day; but, as our stores had been so reduced at the end of last week, there was not enough for tea this afternoon. Four o’clock had now come, one hour before the usual tea-time, when a brother from Somersetshire came to see the Orphan Houses, and put a sovereign into each of the boxes. Our great need soon brought out the money, and thus we were supplied. [Observe! The brother, as he himself told me a few days after in the course of conversation, had but little time, and therefore rather hastily went over the houses. Had he stayed long and conversed much, as might have been the case, his donations would not have been in time for the tea.] There came in one shilling besides, by needlework done by the children.
Feb. 25. Greater than now our need had never been. Our trials of faith have never been so sharp as during this week. Indeed, so much so, that most of the laborers felt to-day considerably tried. Yet neither this day has the Lord suffered us to be confounded. Through a remarkable circumstance one of the laborers obtained some money this morning, so that all the need of to-day could be amply met.
Feb. 26. My prayer this morning was in particular that the Lord would be pleased now to look in pity upon us, and take off his hand. Indeed, for several days my prayer has been that he would enable us to continue to trust in him, and not lay more upon us than he would enable us to bear. This is now again Saturday. There having been given yesterday a rich supply to the matrons, I knew that not so much as usual would be required this Saturday; still, I thought that one pound ten shillings would be needed. Between ten and eleven o’clock this morning a parcel came from Clapham, containing two pounds two shillings, with two frocks, two petticoats, two chemises, two pinafores, and six handkerchiefs, all new. Thus we were richly supplied for to-day, for only one pound ten shillings was needed.
March 2. This evening were sent, by order of an Irish sister, thirty-three and a half pounds of woollen yarn. Respecting this donation it is to be remarked that last Saturday we had asked the Lord, in our prayer meeting, that he would be pleased to send us means to purchase worsted, in order that the boys might go on with their knitting.
March 9. At a time of the greatest need, both with regard to the day schools and the orphans, so much so that we could not have gone on any longer without help, I received this day ten pounds from a brother who lives near Dublin. The money was divided between the day schools and the Orphan Houses. The following little circumstance is to be noticed respecting this donation. As our need was so great, and my soul was, through grace, truly waiting upon the Lord, I looked out for supplies in the course of this morning. The post, however, was out, and no supplies had come. This did not in the least discourage me. I said to myself, the Lord can send means without the post, or even now, though the post is out, by this very delivery of letters he may have sent means, though the money is not yet in my hands. It was not long after I had thus spoken to myself when, according to my hope in God, we were helped; for the brother who sent us the ten pounds, had this time directed his letter to the Boys’ Orphan House, whence it was sent to me.
March 17. From the 12th to the 16th had come in four pounds five shillings elevenpence halfpenny for the orphans. This morning our poverty, which now has lasted more or less for several months, had become exceedingly great. I left my house a few minutes after seven to go to the Orphan Houses to see whether there was money enough to take in the milk, which is brought about eight o’clock. On my way it was especially my request that the Lord would be pleased to pity us, even as a father pitieth his children, and that he would not lay more upon us than he would enable us to bear. I especially entreated him that he would now be pleased to refresh our hearts by sending us help. I likewise reminded him of the consequences that would result, both in reference to believers and unbelievers, if we should have to give up the work because of want of means, and that he therefore would not permit its coming to nought. I moreover again confessed before the Lord that I deserved not that he should continue to use me in this work any longer. While I was thus in prayer, about two minutes’ walk from the Orphan Houses, I met a brother who was going at this early hour to his business. After having exchanged a few words with him, I went on; but he presently ran after me, and gave me one pound for the orphans. Thus the Lord speedily answered my prayer. Truly, it is worth being poor and greatly tried in faith for the sake of having day by day such precious proofs of the loving interest which our kind Father takes in everything that concerns us. And how should our Father do otherwise? He that has given us the greatest possible proof of his love which he could have done, in giving us his own Son, surely he will with him also freely give us all things. It is worth also being poor and greatly tried in faith, if but thereby the hearts of the children of God may be comforted and their faith strengthened, and if but those who do not know God, and who may read or hear of his dealings with us, should be led thereby to see that faith in God is more than a mere notion, and that there is indeed reality in Christianity. In the course of this day there came in still further thirteen shillings.
March 19. Saturday. As it has often been the case on Saturdays, so it was this day in particular. We began the day in very great poverty, as only seven shillings had come in since the day before yesterday. There was not one ray of light as to natural prospects. The heart would be overwhelmed at such seasons, were there not an abundance of repose to be found by trusting in God. The trial having continued so long, and our poverty having now come to such a degree that it was necessary we should have help in order that the name of the Lord might not be dishonored, I had proposed to my fellow-laborers that we should set apart this day especially for prayer. We met accordingly at half past ten in the morning. By that time had come in four shillings sixpence, seven shillings sixpence, and ten shillings. In the afternoon we met again at three, when ten shillings came in. In the evening, at seven, we met once more, there being yet about three shillings needed to provide all that was required. This also we received, and even three shillings more than was actually needed came in, just when we were about to separate.
April 9. Saturday. Only one shilling sixpence had come in since yesterday afternoon. We needed more money than there was in hand, especially as it was Saturday, but the Lord was pleased particularly to try our faith. In the course of the morning came from some sisters in Dublin, eighteen yards of calico, thirty-four yards of print, forty-three balls of cotton, and a pair of worn lady’s boots. This donation came most seasonably, as we had been mentioning repeatedly the need of calico and print in our prayers, and the sewing-cotton and the pair of boots came at once into use. Moreover, this donation was a sweet encouragement to me to continue waiting upon the Lord. Evening was now approaching, and no money had yet come in for provisions, etc., which would be needed on the Lord’s day. About six o’clock, I gave myself once more to prayer with my wife, and requested the Lord in my prayer that if the sister who in love to him has taken upon her the service of disposing of the articles which are given for sale had any money in hand, he would be pleased to incline her heart to bring or send the money this evening. After this I sat down peacefully to read the Scriptures, being assured that this time also the Lord would stretch out his hand on our behalf. About half past seven o’clock, the sister, to whom reference has just now been made, came and brought one pound ten shillings fourpence for articles which she had sold, stating that, though she was unwell, yet she felt herself constrained not to delay bringing this money. Thus we had all that was needed, and six shillings more. When I arrived with the money at the Infant Orphan House, about eight o’clock, I found my fellow-laborers in prayer, and while we still continued in prayer a sister sent a large basket of stale bread, being five brown loaves, seven bread cakes, and five French loaves.
April 12. We were never in greater need than to-day, perhaps never in so much, when I received this morning one hundred pounds from the East Indies. It is impossible to describe the real joy in God it gave me. My prayer had been again this morning particularly that our Father would pity us, and now at last send larger sums. I was not in the least surprised or excited when this donation came, for I took it as that which came in answer to prayer, and had been long looked for.
May 6. Only three pounds ten shillings twopence halfpenny had been received since the 2d, on which account there would have been only enough means in hand to provide for the breakfast to-morrow morning, when in this our fresh need we received eighty-six pounds, two pair of gold earrings, a brooch, and two rupees.
May 10. To-day, in closing the accounts, we have left, at the end of this period of seventeen months, in which we have been so often penniless, the sum of sixteen pounds eighteen shillings tenpence halfpenny for the orphans, and forty-eight pounds twelve shillings five and one fourth pence for the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
The time now seemed to us to have come, when, for the profit of the church at large, the Lord’s dealings with us, with reference to the various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, should be made known by publishing another Report. For, whilst we, on purpose, had delayed it at this time five months longer than during the previous years, and that during a period when we were in deeper poverty than during any previous time; yet, as from the commencement it had appeared to me important from time to time to make known the Lord’s dealings with us, so I judged it profitable still to seek to comfort, to encourage, to exhort, to instruct, and to warn the dear children of God by the printed accounts of the Lord’s goodness to us.
Though our trials of faith during these seventeen months lasted longer and were sharper than during any previous period, yet during all this time the orphans had everything that was needful in the way of nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, etc. Indeed, I should rather at once send the children back to their relations than keep them without sufficient maintenance.
I desire that all the children of God who may read these details may thereby be led to increased and more simple confidence in God for everything which they may need under any circumstances, and that these many answers to prayer may encourage them to pray, particularly as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their own progress in grace and knowledge, the state of the saints whom they may know personally, the state of the church of Christ at large, and the success of the preaching of the gospel. Especially, I affectionately warn them against being led away by the device of Satan, to think that these things are peculiar to me, and cannot be enjoyed by all the children of God; for though, as has been stated before, every believer is not called upon to establish orphan houses, charity schools, etc., and trust in the Lord for means, yet all believers are called upon, in the simple confidence of faith, to cast all their burdens upon him, to trust in him for everything, and not only to make everything a subject of prayer, but to expect answers to their petitions which they have asked according to his will and in the name of the Lord Jesus. Think not, dear reader, that I have the gift of faith, that is, that gift of which we read in 1 Cor. xii. 9, and which is mentioned along with “the gifts of healing,” “the working of miracles,” “prophecy,” and that on that account I am able to trust in the Lord. It is true that the faith which I am enabled to exercise is altogether God’s own gift; it is true that he alone supports it, and that he alone can increase it; it is true that moment by moment, I depend on him for it, and that if I were only one moment left to myself my faith would utterly fail; but it is not true that my faith is that gift of faith which is spoken of in 1 Cor. xii. 9. It is the self-same faith which is found in every believer, and the growth of which I am most sensible of to myself; for by little and little it has been increasing for the last six and twenty years.
This faith which is exercised respecting the Orphan Houses, and my own temporal necessities shows itself in the same measure, for instance, concerning the following points: I have never been permitted to doubt during the last twenty-seven years that my sins are forgiven, that I am a child of God, that I am beloved of God, and that I shall be finally saved; because I am enabled by the grace of God to exercise faith upon the word of God, and believe what God says in those passages which settle these matters (1 John v. 1; Gal. iii. 26; Acts x. 43; Romans x. 9, 10; John iii. 16, etc.). Further, at the time when I thought I should be insane, though there was not the least ground for thinking so, I was in peace; because my soul believed the truth of that word, “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God.” Rom. viii. 28. Further: When my brother in the flesh and my dear aged father died, and when concerning both of them I had no evidence whatever that they were saved (though I dare not say that they are lost, for I know it not), yet my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace, under this great trial, this exceedingly great trial, this trial which is one of the greatest perhaps which can befall a believer. And what was it that gave me peace? My soul laid hold on that word, “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” This word, together with the whole character of God, as he has revealed himself in his holy word, settled all questionings. I believed what he has said concerning himself, and I was at peace, and have been at peace ever since, concerning this matter. Further: When the Lord took from me a beloved infant, my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace; I could only weep tears of joy when I did weep. And why? Because my soul laid hold in faith on that word, “Of such is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew xix. 14. Further: When sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark, with reference to my service among the saints, judging from natural appearances; yea, when I should have been overwhelmed indeed in grief and despair had I looked at things after the outward appearance: at such times I have sought to encourage myself in God, by laying hold in faith on his almighty power, his unchangeable love, and his infinite wisdom, and I have said to myself, God is able and willing to deliver me, if it be good for me; for it is written, “He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?” Rom. viii. 32. This it was which, being believed by me through grace, kept my soul in peace. Further: When in connection with the Orphan Houses, day schools, etc., trials have come upon me which were far heavier than the want of means, when lying reports were spread that the orphans had not enough to eat, or that they were cruelly treated in other respects, and the like; or when other trials, still greater, but which I cannot mention, have befallen me in connection with this work, and that at a time when I was nearly a thousand miles absent from Bristol, and had to remain absent week after week; at such times my soul was stayed upon God; I believed his word of promise which was applicable to such cases; I poured out my soul before God, and arose from my knees in peace, because the trouble that was in the soul was in believing prayer cast upon God, and thus I was kept in peace, though I saw it to be the will of God to remain far away from the work. Further: When I needed houses, fellow-laborers, masters and mistresses for the orphans or for the day schools, I have been enabled to look for all to the Lord, and trust in him for help.
Dear reader, I may seem to boast; but, by the grace of God, I do not boast in thus speaking. From my inmost soul I do ascribe it to God alone that he has enabled me to trust in him, and that hitherto he has not suffered my confidence in him to fail. But I thought it needful to make these remarks, lest any one should think that my depending upon God was a particular gift given to me which other saints have no right to look for; or lest it should be thought that this my depending upon him had only to do with the obtaining of money by prayer and faith. By the grace of God I desire that my faith in God should extend towards everything, the smallest of my own temporal and spiritual concerns, and the smallest of the temporal and spiritual concerns of my family, towards the saints among whom I labor, the church at large, everything that has to do with the temporal and spiritual prosperity of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, etc. Dear reader, do not think that I have attained in faith (and how much less in other respects!) to that degree to which I might and ought to attain; but thank God for the faith which he has given me, and ask him to uphold and increase it. And lastly, once more, let not Satan deceive you in making you think that you could not have the same faith, but that it is only for persons who are situated as I am. When I lose such a thing as a key, I ask the Lord to direct me to it, and I look for an answer to my prayer; when a person with whom I have made an appointment does not come, according to the fixed time, and I begin to be inconvenienced by it, I ask the Lord to be pleased to hasten him to me, and I look for an answer; when I do not understand a passage of the word of God, I lift up my heart to the Lord, that he would be pleased, by his Holy Spirit, to instruct me, and I expect to be taught, though I do not fix the time when, and the manner how it should be; when I am going to minister in the word, I seek help from the Lord, and while I, in the consciousness of natural inability as well as utter unworthiness, begin this his service, I am not cast down, but of good cheer, because I look for his assistance, and believe that he, for his dear Son’s sake, will help me. And thus in other of my temporal and spiritual concerns I pray to the Lord, and expect an answer to my requests; and may not you do the same, dear believing reader? Oh! I beseech you, do not think me an extraordinary believer, having privileges above other of God’s dear children, which they cannot have; nor look on my way of acting as something that would not do for other believers. Make but trial! Do but stand still in the hour of trial, and you will see the help of God, if you trust in him. But there is so often a forsaking the ways of the Lord in the hour of trial, and thus the food for faith, the means whereby our faith may be increased, is lost. This leads me to the following important point. You ask, How may I, a true believer, have my faith strengthened? The answer is this:—
I. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.” James i. 17. As the increase of faith is a good gift, it must come from God, and therefore he ought to be asked for this blessing.
II. The following means, however, ought to be used: 1. The careful reading of the word of God, combined with meditation on it. Through reading of the word of God, and especially through meditation on the word of God, the believer becomes more and more acquainted with the nature and character of God, and thus sees more and more, besides his holiness and justice, what a kind, loving, gracious, merciful, mighty, wise, and faithful being he is, and, therefore, in poverty, affliction of body, bereavement in his family, difficulty in his service, want of a situation or employment, he will repose upon the ability of God to help him, because he has not only learned from his word that he is of almighty power and infinite wisdom, but he has also seen instance upon instance in the Holy Scriptures in which his almighty power and infinite wisdom have been actually exercised in helping and delivering his people; and he will repose upon the willingness of God to help him, because he has not only learned from the Scriptures what a kind, good, merciful, gracious, and faithful being God is, but because he has also seen in the word of God, how in a great variety of instances he has proved himself to be so. And the consideration of this, if God has become known to us through prayer and meditation on his own word, will lead us, in general at least, with a measure of confidence to rely upon him: and thus the reading of the word of God, together with meditation on it, will be one especial means to strengthen our faith.
2. As, with reference to the growth of every grace of the Spirit, it is of the utmost importance that we seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience, and, therefore, do not knowingly and habitually indulge in those things which are contrary to the mind of God, so it is also particularly the case with reference to the growth in faith. How can I possibly continue to act faith upon God, concerning anything, if I am habitually grieving him, and seek to detract from the glory and honor of him in whom I profess to trust, upon whom I profess to depend? All my confidence towards God, all my leaning upon him in the hour of trial, will be gone, if I have a guilty conscience, and do not seek to put away this guilty conscience, but still continue to do things which are contrary to the mind of God. And if, in any particular instance, I cannot trust in God, because of the guilty conscience, then my faith is weakened by that instance of distrust; for faith with every fresh trial of it either increases by trusting God, and thus getting help, or it decreases by not trusting him; and then there is less and less power of looking simply and directly to him, and a habit of self-dependence is begotten or encouraged. One or other of these will always be the case in each particular instance. Either we trust in God, and in that case we neither trust in ourselves, nor in our fellow-men, nor in circumstances, nor in anything besides; or we do trust in one or more of these, and in that case do not trust in God.
3. If we, indeed, desire our faith to be strengthened, we should not shrink from opportunities where our faith may be tried, and, therefore, through the trial, be strengthened. In our natural state we dislike dealing with God alone. Through our natural alienation from God we shrink from him, and from eternal realities. This cleaves to us more or less, even after our regeneration. Hence it is that, more or less, even as believers, we have the same shrinking from standing with God alone, from depending upon him alone, from looking to him alone; and yet this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we wish our faith to be strengthened. The more I am in a position to be tried in faith with reference to my body, my family, my service for the Lord, my business, etc., the more shall I have opportunity of seeing God’s help and deliverance; and every fresh instance in which he helps and delivers me will tend towards the increase of my faith. On this account, therefore, the believer should not shrink from situations, positions, circumstances, in which his faith may be tried, but should cheerfully embrace them as opportunities where he may see the hand of God stretched out on his behalf, to help and deliver him, and whereby he may thus have his faith strengthened.
4. The last important point for the strengthening of our faith is, that we let God work for us, when the hour of the trial of our faith comes, and do not work a deliverance of our own. Wherever God has given faith, it is given, among other reasons, for the very purpose of being tried. Yea, however weak our faith may be, God will try it; only with this restriction, that as, in every way, he leads us on gently, gradually, patiently, so also with reference to the trial of our faith. At first, our faith will be tried very little in comparison with what it may be afterwards; for God never lays more upon us than he is willing to enable us to bear. Now, when the trial of faith comes, we are naturally inclined to distrust God, and to trust rather in ourselves, or in our friends, or in circumstances. We will rather work a deliverance of our own, somehow or other, than simply look to God and wait for his help. But if we do not patiently wait for God’s help, if we work a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our faith it will be thus again, we shall be again inclined to deliver ourselves; and thus, with every fresh instance of that kind, our faith will decrease; whilst, on the contrary, were we to stand still in order to see the salvation of God, to see his hand stretched out on our behalf, trusting in him alone, then our faith would be increased, and with every fresh case in which the hand of God is stretched out on our behalf in the hour of the trial of our faith, our faith would be increased yet more. Would the believer, therefore, have his faith strengthened, he must, especially, give time to God, who tries his faith in order to prove to his child, in the end, how willing he is to help and deliver him, the moment it is good for him.
I now return, dear reader, to the Narrative, giving you some further information with reference to the seventeen months from Dec. 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, as it respects the Orphan Houses, and other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad, besides the facts of which mention has been already made.
During this period, also, 1. Two Sunday schools were entirely supported by the funds of the Institution. 2. There were two adult schools, one for females, and one for males, entirely supported during these seventeen months, in which on two evenings of the week the males, and on two evenings the females, were instructed, quite gratuitously, in reading and writing, and were furnished with books and writing materials gratuitously. There were, during these seventeen months, 344 adults taught in these two schools, and on May 10, 1842, the number under instruction amounted to 110. 3. There were, during these seventeen months, also six day schools entirely supported by the funds of the Institution, three for boys and three for girls. On May 10, 1842, the number of the children who attended these day schools was 363; and the total number who, from the formation of the Institution, March 5, 1834, up to May 10, 1842, had been instructed in the day schools, which are supported by the funds of the Institution, amounts to 2,616. 4. During these seventeen months, 798 copies of the Holy Scriptures were circulated, and from the commencement of the Institution, up to May 10, 1842, 6,842 copies. 5. During these seventeen months was spent for missionary purposes the sum of £126, 15s. 3d. of the funds of the Institution, whereby assistance was rendered to the work of God in Jamaica, in Australia, in Canada, and in the East Indies. 6. At the commencement of these seventeen months, i. e. on Dec. 10, 1840, a new object was begun, the circulation of such publications as may be beneficial, with the blessing of God, to both unbelievers and believers. We laid out for this object during these seventeen months the sum of £62, 17s. 4d., for which 22,190 such little publications were purchased, and of which number 19,609 were actually given away. 7. There were received into the three Orphan Houses 15 orphans, who, together with those who were in the houses on Dec. 10, 1840, make up 106 in all. Of these, five girls were sent out to service, two boys and one girl were apprenticed, one girl was removed by a lady who had placed her for a time under our care, and one was sent back to his relations, as he was injurious to the other children.
There were on May 10, 1842, 96 orphans in the three houses, i. e. 30 in the Girls’ Orphan House, 37 in the Infant Orphan House, and 29 in the Boys’ Orphan House. Besides this, three apprentices were supported by the funds of the Institution; so that the total number was 99. The number of orphans who were under our care from April, 1836, to May 10, 1842, amounts to 144.
I notice further, in connection with the Orphan Houses, that, without any one having been asked for anything by me, the sum of £5,276, 14s. 8d. was given to me from the beginning of the work up to May 10, 1842, as the result of prayer to God.
The total of the expenditure for the various objects of the Institution, exclusive of the Orphan Houses, during these seventeen months, amounted to £710, 11s. 5d.; the total of the income amounted to £746, 1s. 0½d. The total of the expenditure for the three Orphan Houses, from Dec. 10, 1840, to May 10, 1842, amounted to £1,337, 15s. 2¾d.; the total of the income amounted to £1,339, 13s. 7d.